(no subject)
I think everyone around here needs a vacation- there does seem to be an unusual amount of angst amongst people I know... and now I too will add to the angstyness...
I seriously get the feeling that my parents are kinda ashamed of me- okay maybe not ashamed per say but just not as proud as perhaps I think they should be. Though I suppose it could be worse cuz it's not like they say "oh why can't you be more like your sister?" because well, my sister is just as bad as I am. I think the only reason I feel this way is because I live here and have to hear them complain whereas my sister does not live here so she doesn't know about this... tho knowing her she wouldn't really care all that much. And the only reason it's not bothering me as much as it probably would have is because- well lately I've just been able to laugh at ridiculous things. I mean, yes on some level it is frustrating that my parents don't recognize that I could be alot worse off than I am- like I've said before, I'm not in jail, a junkie or the father of an illigitamte child. But on another level it's just kinda funny that I think they have such high standards that I am apparently not living up to, but in my book as long as I'm not one of those things I listed above then I am already living up to my standards- Im not sure if mine are low or what but eh what ya gonna do? But I do understand where they are coming from I suppose- it does seem like I've been bumming around doing very little for going on two years now and just recently have they made comments about me and school which I chose to ignore or feign ignorance... I'm just waiting for that "talk" that I know is coming at some point...
And in other news and somewhat related- I am toying with the idea of visiting my sister with my parents sometime in June perhaps. They want to go on Fathers Day weekend just like last year. I'm not sure if I should skip the visiting and stay home and have the house to myself for two and a half days and just relax and probably starve or man up and get on the plane and visit her. It's a free trip not counting what money I'll spend on souvenirs tho I don't think I'll spend alot but man Berkley is right there with Amoeba Music Store and then Fisherman's Warf which will be tempting. I just do not know... If I wasn't so afraid of flying the decision would be easier but alas I am terrified of flying... we shall see...
I seriously get the feeling that my parents are kinda ashamed of me- okay maybe not ashamed per say but just not as proud as perhaps I think they should be. Though I suppose it could be worse cuz it's not like they say "oh why can't you be more like your sister?" because well, my sister is just as bad as I am. I think the only reason I feel this way is because I live here and have to hear them complain whereas my sister does not live here so she doesn't know about this... tho knowing her she wouldn't really care all that much. And the only reason it's not bothering me as much as it probably would have is because- well lately I've just been able to laugh at ridiculous things. I mean, yes on some level it is frustrating that my parents don't recognize that I could be alot worse off than I am- like I've said before, I'm not in jail, a junkie or the father of an illigitamte child. But on another level it's just kinda funny that I think they have such high standards that I am apparently not living up to, but in my book as long as I'm not one of those things I listed above then I am already living up to my standards- Im not sure if mine are low or what but eh what ya gonna do? But I do understand where they are coming from I suppose- it does seem like I've been bumming around doing very little for going on two years now and just recently have they made comments about me and school which I chose to ignore or feign ignorance... I'm just waiting for that "talk" that I know is coming at some point...
And in other news and somewhat related- I am toying with the idea of visiting my sister with my parents sometime in June perhaps. They want to go on Fathers Day weekend just like last year. I'm not sure if I should skip the visiting and stay home and have the house to myself for two and a half days and just relax and probably starve or man up and get on the plane and visit her. It's a free trip not counting what money I'll spend on souvenirs tho I don't think I'll spend alot but man Berkley is right there with Amoeba Music Store and then Fisherman's Warf which will be tempting. I just do not know... If I wasn't so afraid of flying the decision would be easier but alas I am terrified of flying... we shall see...