I guess I've been lucky
This is the first time since I moved that I've been depressed.
Diplo is playing tonight, and my sister had tickets for us since even before I came. But when I came, my sister informed that it was 21+. So up until today, I was going to try to get in using one of her friend's IDs. But once tonight came, I chickened out. I look nothing like the guy on the ID, but that isn't the point. I could've tried, I could've at least tried.
I wish I had more confidence. I've been such a wimp my entire life. I came up with excuses to make myself look like the victim. I missed so many opportunities because I just wasn't brave enough. Like I'm slowly forgetting how to be confident. Was I ever? I've been talking about shit like this since I had an LJ.
I always run as hard as I can to the edge but never make the jump. It gets even more frustrating and depressing when you don't have anyone around. I had my parents and my sister to wake me up from my self-pity, but now I have all the time to ponder about how far I am from everything I want that everyone else already has.
I shouldn't be having these problems at my age. Everyone else I meet knows what they're doing, what they want, and how they're going to get it. I just write weightless words, imagining someone feels bad for me FOR me.
Diplo is playing tonight, and my sister had tickets for us since even before I came. But when I came, my sister informed that it was 21+. So up until today, I was going to try to get in using one of her friend's IDs. But once tonight came, I chickened out. I look nothing like the guy on the ID, but that isn't the point. I could've tried, I could've at least tried.
I wish I had more confidence. I've been such a wimp my entire life. I came up with excuses to make myself look like the victim. I missed so many opportunities because I just wasn't brave enough. Like I'm slowly forgetting how to be confident. Was I ever? I've been talking about shit like this since I had an LJ.
I always run as hard as I can to the edge but never make the jump. It gets even more frustrating and depressing when you don't have anyone around. I had my parents and my sister to wake me up from my self-pity, but now I have all the time to ponder about how far I am from everything I want that everyone else already has.
I shouldn't be having these problems at my age. Everyone else I meet knows what they're doing, what they want, and how they're going to get it. I just write weightless words, imagining someone feels bad for me FOR me.