Title: It's Not Over [One-shot]
Author: wookism
Pairing: YeWook
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryeowook needs Yesung back in his life.
Disclaimer: Title taken from "It's Not Over” by Daughtry
Words meant nothing. His tears meant nothing. His apologies were nothing. He’d said too much without thinking and made things worse than he ever imagined. Ryeowook was a fool. He didn’t have the sense to stop. He said too much and when he couldn’t take any of it back.
He could feel himself swallowing those words, hoping that he wouldn’t have to repeat them ever again. But it didn’t work. It was too late. There was no going back.
He suffered with the guilt; he suffered with the harsh repercussions. He didn’t let anything else make him feel better. It was his fault Yesung was gone and he would have to deal with what he had done.
When had he become so out of control? When had his emotions become things he couldn’t possibly take hold of?
He cried. He cried for days, never wanting to stop, never feeling any better from doing so. It ate at him. It made him sick and it made him feel unworthy of living.
He wanted to do away with himself. He wanted to disappear and he wanted everyone to forget he ever existed. There was too much pain and he felt like he was only a burden to those around him.
He sat alone in his room, in the dark, on his bed with only the light of his computer screen to look by. He stared at it, his fingers trembling as he attempted to write but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say. He felt his heartbeat quicken and he could feel a surge of emotion rush through him. His chest hurt and he had trouble breathing. His eyes stung as he attempted to hold back tears that were so desperate to get out.
He coughed. He held his shirt and bit his lip and struggled to breathe. He closed the laptop and sat in the dark, his back against his pillows and his bedspread became his only source of comfort. It wasn’t enough. He longed for the feel for Yesung’s arms around him but he couldn’t have it. Not after the things he said.
“I miss you.”
He wrote it on his mirror with a marker. He stared at the words, and got lost in them.
I
His selfishness, his disregard for those around him, all of it was because he wouldn’t give others a chance. He didn’t want to let himself be exposed to others but when Yesung came along, he felt he could be more open. He was free. He was honest. He had revealed more of himself to Yesung than he had to anyone else. He trusted Yesung, but it wasn’t enough.
you
It was Yesung. There was no one else. It was him. He was all Ryeowook wanted, all he needed. He longed for him. He wanted to see his smile again, he wanted to hear his voice, he wanted that safety that he had when he was with Yesung. Would he ever get that again? Ryeowook thought the answer to be no.
miss
He didn’t just miss Yesung. He loved him. He ached for him. He yearned for him. He couldn’t live without him.
He took his eyes off the words and looked himself in the eyes. He felt the tears coming again, his voice started to give out and he could feel his chest tighten painfully. He wanted to punch the glass, let it crack and shatter so he didn’t have to see the person he hated most. He held his fist close to the surface but walked back and fell onto the ground, crying out in a moment of passion.
He heard a noise and looked to see his phone vibrating on his dresser. He stood up and felt for it. Looking at the blinking screen, he opened his phone and pressed a button.
“Yesung?”
THE END
A/N: ♥