Revulsion
Recent times have been spent listening to Wayne Dyer audiobooks (and being told once again that my troubles, low self-esteem and depression are my fault), and generally feeling positive about life. Until today.
I had a dream early this morning that I was choking on a large, whole crouton. Nothing I tried, from coughing it up to sticking a long pair of tweezers down my neck, would budge it. Not so long ago I found myself choking (or rather coughing and spluttering) on a rather potent slice of chilli pepper.
I've been into dream interpretation these days, so I had a look around to see what choking could mean.
It makes sense, because these days I've also been having issues with "criticism". I've always had issues with criticism, not least because people use it to have a go at me instead of the thing they have a problem with. It's a very deep-seated problem that goes back as far as I can remember, but the point is I have this annoying problem of thinking "criticism" is directed solely at me. It takes a while to realise, however, that this isn't always the case.
I've been working tirelessly on a new e-commerce venture at my workplace, which has had all sorts of problems from the beginning: not least because it's built using Zen Cart. It's the one thing I've ever used where you spend hours figuring out what the hell's going on, and try so hard to get it working how you want, and slightly less longer getting it to look any good, and if something goes wrong, the tightly-knit forum community has a go at you because you obviously have no idea how to code/how to design a site/how to run a site/what you're doing.
Anyway, issues with Zen Cart itself aside, I made the mistake of asking the tightly-knit forum community for feedback on the site so far. The best way to describe what followed is a string of negative ("sniper") comments, and ganging up; bear in mind, however, my disposition towards "criticism".
I have to say one thing; most of the things suggested as improvements (yes, I did read some of it) were things I suggested to the boss, but he insisted on having things his (spontaneous) way:
I had a dream early this morning that I was choking on a large, whole crouton. Nothing I tried, from coughing it up to sticking a long pair of tweezers down my neck, would budge it. Not so long ago I found myself choking (or rather coughing and spluttering) on a rather potent slice of chilli pepper.
I've been into dream interpretation these days, so I had a look around to see what choking could mean.
It makes sense, because these days I've also been having issues with "criticism". I've always had issues with criticism, not least because people use it to have a go at me instead of the thing they have a problem with. It's a very deep-seated problem that goes back as far as I can remember, but the point is I have this annoying problem of thinking "criticism" is directed solely at me. It takes a while to realise, however, that this isn't always the case.
I've been working tirelessly on a new e-commerce venture at my workplace, which has had all sorts of problems from the beginning: not least because it's built using Zen Cart. It's the one thing I've ever used where you spend hours figuring out what the hell's going on, and try so hard to get it working how you want, and slightly less longer getting it to look any good, and if something goes wrong, the tightly-knit forum community has a go at you because you obviously have no idea how to code/how to design a site/how to run a site/what you're doing.
Anyway, issues with Zen Cart itself aside, I made the mistake of asking the tightly-knit forum community for feedback on the site so far. The best way to describe what followed is a string of negative ("sniper") comments, and ganging up; bear in mind, however, my disposition towards "criticism".
I have to say one thing; most of the things suggested as improvements (yes, I did read some of it) were things I suggested to the boss, but he insisted on having things his (spontaneous) way:
- I suggested having WorldPay as a payment option along with PayPal; he wouldn't have it,
- I suggested descriptions for each item in the shop, he wasn't bothered;
- I can't be arsed to think that far back.