Not sure where we go from here....
I've had this post rolling around in my head for a while now, and apparently 1:23 a.m. is the time it needs to come out. And so here we go. Chelsea is a delightful child. Her outlook on life is so very simple. Wrong is wrong, right is right. The truth is always the best thing, and consequences are expected and served for misbehaving. No screaming, no yelling, no disrespect. No whining for the $75 tank top at Hollister or the $100 jeans at Aero. No whining for an iPod, iPhone, or even CD's. That would be music (or golden silence in this case) to most parents ears. And at times, I am thankful, but I also realize that I have a daughter that will be 13 in 7 weeks that still watches cartoon...even Barney now and then. Maturity -wise I think she is about 8-10 years old. I worry that she has frozen at this place. She shows no signs of interest in current music, Twilight (Ok, that 's a good thing, I guess), or other "teen" things. She is happy to cuddle with me onthe couch, clutching a stuffed animal, and making videos in her head.
I worry about her ability to deal with those her own age. The gap is widening and becoming obvious. She would rather play with children 8 or 9 years old than with children her age. She doesn't understand the whole teen scene at all. I worry that she is frozen at this level, as I have seen no real growth in the past few years. And I worry that homeschooling may stunt that growth, even though I am trying to get her into community things like church youth group and Daughters of the King this school year. I worry that I will be my child's best and sole friend. I pray that I live to be that for her.
Sometimes the magnitude of preparing a challenged child for life is overwhelming. Knowing that what I can get done in my lifetime is what she will take with her in hers is almost a crushing task. I know that God gave this sweet, precious soul to me...for me to mother, and I just want to do right by her. I guess the occasional breakdown is to be expected. Funny thing is, were C here right now, she'd be hugging me and saying, "Mommy, sometimes you just have to let the tears out." Indeed.
I worry about her ability to deal with those her own age. The gap is widening and becoming obvious. She would rather play with children 8 or 9 years old than with children her age. She doesn't understand the whole teen scene at all. I worry that she is frozen at this level, as I have seen no real growth in the past few years. And I worry that homeschooling may stunt that growth, even though I am trying to get her into community things like church youth group and Daughters of the King this school year. I worry that I will be my child's best and sole friend. I pray that I live to be that for her.
Sometimes the magnitude of preparing a challenged child for life is overwhelming. Knowing that what I can get done in my lifetime is what she will take with her in hers is almost a crushing task. I know that God gave this sweet, precious soul to me...for me to mother, and I just want to do right by her. I guess the occasional breakdown is to be expected. Funny thing is, were C here right now, she'd be hugging me and saying, "Mommy, sometimes you just have to let the tears out." Indeed.