1.22.3 - Elevator - (realmofthemuse)
"You know, Shawn, this wouldn't have happened if for once in your life you hadn't taken the easy way out."
"Oh for the love of Hugh Laurie, you didn't take the stairs either!"
"I've taken the stairs my whole life!"
"The audience is thrilled, go get your trophy. This is so great, I could be stuck here with absolutely anybody! Shakira. Halle Barry. The girl from the bookstall."
"You see, son, that's your problem, you are NEVER satisfied with what you got."
"What I got? Dad, I'm stuck in an elevator with you, there is nothing satisfactionary about that! At all!"
"Oh, I am truly sorry I don't live up to your expectations!"
"Trust me, I know exactly what that feels like!"
"Don't you start!"
"Start?" Shawn hit the emergency button again and again. "Nothing in here starts! That's our problem, Dad!"
"Well, maybe the elevator wouldn't have stopped if you hadn't jumped up and down like an idiot!"
"You dragged me in here! Besides, look at this sign. It says up to eight people. Eight. Seriously, have you gained weight? You look a little... roundish."
"Rou-... I don't look roundish!"
"Fine, you don't look roundish. How about tubby? Rotund?"
"Shawn!"
"I'm sorry. Pudgy?"
"Shawn, I mean it. You shut up until they get us out of here!" Henry shot him his best death-glare. "You still want my help on the Devon-case, right?"
Shawn's eyes widened in alarm. "Whoo, wait, you can't back out. I already painted that stupid table for you. That's cheating!"
Henry's eyebrows shot up. "You above all people seriously want to discuss cheating with me?"
"Oh, come on! I am your son! You are breaking... son-father-accords here!"
"Really. Father-son-accords."
"Nonono, son-father-accords. Which is a far worse crime in the son and father... relationship... law... thingy."
"That so."
"Yes!"
"Well, hate to break it to you kid but with all due respect to your imaginary world of 'whatever Shawn says', let me get one thing painfully straight: You collect anymore piss-off-points? You can ask somebody else for that old files."
Shawn growled something, sat down, crossed his arms in front of his body and sulked. "I'm hungry. How long has it been?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know? You're wearing a watch, Dad!"
"Well, then next time you might remember to bring your own, Shawn."
"Are you serious?!"
"You have to learn at some point that-"
"I don't have to learn anything, Dad! I just want to know the damn time!"
"It's not your lucky day then."
"You're not gonna tell me?"
"Nope."
"Has someone ever told you that something is seriously wrong with you?"
"Whatever, Shawn."
"..."
"..."
"... chubby?"
Muse: Shawn Spencer
Fandom: Psych
Words: 444