(no subject)
It’s been a long time since I updated.
At least a real update, anyway.
The funny thing is that I’ve written quite a few long, full updates. Live journal style.
Problem is I keep deleting them. At least five or six of them, now.
It just feels really useless. Not in a “no one cares” sort of way. I mean, I may be lucky enough to have a few people on here that may or may not care. But seem to try. That’s way more than I could ever ask of anyone. For sure it’s more than I ever deserved.
Maybe I’m like pseudo manic depressive. Maybe I’m just lazy. I don’t know. It’s just that some days I’m completely full of hope and I make promises to myself. Than they never get done. I mean, bits and pieces fall into place sometimes. But nothing that could be forged into anything; Much less anything that comes close to what I envisioned.
And it’s getting harder and harder to do anything. And easier to do nothing (as long as I don’t think about it).
Hem. I think I’m going to cut it short. I’ve completely lost track of where I was going with this.
Maybe I’m just exaggerating. I’m content most of the time, not happy but very few people are ever happy, so I guess I shouldn’t bitch.
PS: I bought a drum machine and a MIDI controller. I think I want to use them.
At least a real update, anyway.
The funny thing is that I’ve written quite a few long, full updates. Live journal style.
Problem is I keep deleting them. At least five or six of them, now.
It just feels really useless. Not in a “no one cares” sort of way. I mean, I may be lucky enough to have a few people on here that may or may not care. But seem to try. That’s way more than I could ever ask of anyone. For sure it’s more than I ever deserved.
Maybe I’m like pseudo manic depressive. Maybe I’m just lazy. I don’t know. It’s just that some days I’m completely full of hope and I make promises to myself. Than they never get done. I mean, bits and pieces fall into place sometimes. But nothing that could be forged into anything; Much less anything that comes close to what I envisioned.
And it’s getting harder and harder to do anything. And easier to do nothing (as long as I don’t think about it).
Hem. I think I’m going to cut it short. I’ve completely lost track of where I was going with this.
Maybe I’m just exaggerating. I’m content most of the time, not happy but very few people are ever happy, so I guess I shouldn’t bitch.
PS: I bought a drum machine and a MIDI controller. I think I want to use them.