(no subject)
i'm so, like, i don't know.
i shouldn't be upset or anything, but i really am.
so i was at erik's house tonight again.
well, at one point, 2 guys left to pick up some girls.
so at like 130, they come back with these really pretty, and nice girls.
one of them is, like, "together" with this guy.
the other one was single, or whatever.
they're both trashed out of their minds.
so erik was really cool with me all night, like usual.
well, when they got there, he didn't even, like, talk to me, except for, like, once when i said something to him.
so it's like 145. this girl, the single one, she was with erik, hanging out.
she was telling him about herself and stuff.
so she brought a camera and all (she's 20, by the way).
so i'm like, i think i'm gonna leave.
she's like, "oh, i want a picture of you, before you go, 'cause i'm like obsessed with cameras and stuff."
she took a picture of me and's like, "take one of us?"
erik's getting ready to take the camera and take a picture of me and this girl.
then he's like, "ohh, us?"
shes its on his lap and leans back with her face next to his, spreads her legs, and like, caresses her cunt.
then she's like, "oh, wait."
she looks at him and kisses him, like, all sensual and whatever.
i took the shot, and i was smiling and all.
the only thing icould think was, what a slut. she doesn't even know him at all.
so i'm like, alright bye. i said bye to the other two and let.
i'm like down the block blowing off steem, and i realize i forgot my cigarettes.
i went back and got them, and when i went downstairs, the girl and the guy said bye, and erik didn't even look at me. not to mention this girl is like leaned over him, legs spread, doing this, like, slut dance.
i was so, like, hurt.
so i left and started hearing def leppard in my head, "i'm burnin', burnin'. i've got a fever." so i went into my mom's car, got the tape, and a CD player and went upstairs.
now i'm typing this to you.
you don't even know how much that bothered me.
i love this kid.
and it sounds so fucking wierd, but i've been in love with this kid since the day i met him.
i ahev fucking pages of things written down about him. i have every conversation i ever had with him online up until like, 6 monthes ago. then i stopped printing them, you know?
i'm waling home, and thinking, no talking to myself, "i'm fucking 15. not even. i'm 14 years old and i'm in love with this kid who's 19. am i kidding myself? he only pays attention to me if there aren't any fucking beautiful girls around to distract him, not including me, because i'm supposidly "beautiful" to him. the only other reason i could come to is that wither he's just a fucking dog, or that he knows he's not getting much from me, at least right now, so he goes off and fucks around with other girls. and when i read that last line, it sounds like, i'm, like, the only girl for him or something, but that's not what i mean.
he tries to get with me,or something and he knows he's not getting much for a while, so he moves on.
i shouldn't be upset or anything, but i really am.
so i was at erik's house tonight again.
well, at one point, 2 guys left to pick up some girls.
so at like 130, they come back with these really pretty, and nice girls.
one of them is, like, "together" with this guy.
the other one was single, or whatever.
they're both trashed out of their minds.
so erik was really cool with me all night, like usual.
well, when they got there, he didn't even, like, talk to me, except for, like, once when i said something to him.
so it's like 145. this girl, the single one, she was with erik, hanging out.
she was telling him about herself and stuff.
so she brought a camera and all (she's 20, by the way).
so i'm like, i think i'm gonna leave.
she's like, "oh, i want a picture of you, before you go, 'cause i'm like obsessed with cameras and stuff."
she took a picture of me and's like, "take one of us?"
erik's getting ready to take the camera and take a picture of me and this girl.
then he's like, "ohh, us?"
shes its on his lap and leans back with her face next to his, spreads her legs, and like, caresses her cunt.
then she's like, "oh, wait."
she looks at him and kisses him, like, all sensual and whatever.
i took the shot, and i was smiling and all.
the only thing icould think was, what a slut. she doesn't even know him at all.
so i'm like, alright bye. i said bye to the other two and let.
i'm like down the block blowing off steem, and i realize i forgot my cigarettes.
i went back and got them, and when i went downstairs, the girl and the guy said bye, and erik didn't even look at me. not to mention this girl is like leaned over him, legs spread, doing this, like, slut dance.
i was so, like, hurt.
so i left and started hearing def leppard in my head, "i'm burnin', burnin'. i've got a fever." so i went into my mom's car, got the tape, and a CD player and went upstairs.
now i'm typing this to you.
you don't even know how much that bothered me.
i love this kid.
and it sounds so fucking wierd, but i've been in love with this kid since the day i met him.
i ahev fucking pages of things written down about him. i have every conversation i ever had with him online up until like, 6 monthes ago. then i stopped printing them, you know?
i'm waling home, and thinking, no talking to myself, "i'm fucking 15. not even. i'm 14 years old and i'm in love with this kid who's 19. am i kidding myself? he only pays attention to me if there aren't any fucking beautiful girls around to distract him, not including me, because i'm supposidly "beautiful" to him. the only other reason i could come to is that wither he's just a fucking dog, or that he knows he's not getting much from me, at least right now, so he goes off and fucks around with other girls. and when i read that last line, it sounds like, i'm, like, the only girl for him or something, but that's not what i mean.
he tries to get with me,or something and he knows he's not getting much for a while, so he moves on.