life is good (repost from myspace)
i realized today that i had to pick myself up out of the hole i had begun to dig. if i dont get out of bed and get myself together ill never get healthy nor back in a regular schedule. the last week and a half has put me in to a world of thoughts but its all coming together now. i know i cant screw things up for me. im the one who is important and i have to remember that.
my life changed about 5 months ago. i was to the point i didnt care about looking for guys at all. i was over it and okay being single, though i still showed signs of depression. then thru this myspace site i "remet" a guy who i barely gave the time of day to all through out the summer. someone without much confidence and unable to reach out to me. but there was a reason he couldnt get to me then. when we remet we were able to talk, hours on end, i had a fight with my dad and wanted out, we learned that we both had annual passes for disneyland and he met me there. i thought it would be cool to have another dancing buddy and loved how we connected. going to cowboy country afterwards i knew i only wanted a friend and denied a kiss. little did i know this guy would grow on me and make me happy again. everyone saw the difference and it was amazing. i stopped looking and sure enough someone came to me. i remember telling him that he was too old and i didnt want to be in a relationship right away. i didnt expect him to stay around but to my surprise he stuck around and waited for me. he was an odd one in my book, i never had a guy respect me so much, i was a princess in his eyes.. sure enough we hung out for the 2 months prior to my trip which was the last thing i had expected and i put him thru hell that weekend but he was here with open arms when i returned. we then made things official and we learned from each other as we let things play out on thier own. but every relationship loses its newness and issues come up. we had ours even tho friends say "perfectness". some things that could have been worked out although werent since never mentioned. needless to say things ended for us but not in a bad way though my heart was wounded. almost 3 months of being his girlfriend when we relooked at things and saw we were more friends than anything. but that had become okay with me prior to it occuring, i could not imagine losing this guy. the last thing i wanted was for things to turn ugly or end badly. lucky for me things never turned that way and we continue to be friends.
as all things in life you learn from your experiences and mistakes in order to make you a better person. im at that point where im looking out for me. im also looking out for him. he is now one of my best guy friends. our paths in life may cross again but for now we go our separate ways. and im glad after tonight to see that i have someone who still cares for me and will be there thru out lifes obstacles even if one was our "us" situation. it was awesome to talk for over an hour like we did in the beginning. talking about life and where we stand. as of this minute im completely single again and it feels good. yes things will be awkward at times as others come around but we will be there for each other. there is nothing to hold back nor reason to. its great to know that we are able to step out of where we were and be in a better place and be able to learn from each other and watch as other things have a chance to develop. im a true believer that everything happens for a reason, what is meant to be will come around, everyone has a purpose in our lives and life has a path to lead us on. and yes i mean every word ive said. this is how i feel. yes he and i will always have a place together and now it is our friendship we will continue to nurture as we stay close in what lies ahead as we go our separate ways that life may lead us.
i luv ya to death as a friend babe, i always will. and in the end, who knows how it may be, but id have nothing less than a friend in you ever. thanks for everything that you are and have been in my life, you dont know what you do, but you do it well. i look forward to many more talks and time together as we strive to do whats best for us as individuals and see where we each want to be at this time in life. whats doesnt kill us only makes us stronger. God bless the broken road that let you be an amazing part of my life.
my life changed about 5 months ago. i was to the point i didnt care about looking for guys at all. i was over it and okay being single, though i still showed signs of depression. then thru this myspace site i "remet" a guy who i barely gave the time of day to all through out the summer. someone without much confidence and unable to reach out to me. but there was a reason he couldnt get to me then. when we remet we were able to talk, hours on end, i had a fight with my dad and wanted out, we learned that we both had annual passes for disneyland and he met me there. i thought it would be cool to have another dancing buddy and loved how we connected. going to cowboy country afterwards i knew i only wanted a friend and denied a kiss. little did i know this guy would grow on me and make me happy again. everyone saw the difference and it was amazing. i stopped looking and sure enough someone came to me. i remember telling him that he was too old and i didnt want to be in a relationship right away. i didnt expect him to stay around but to my surprise he stuck around and waited for me. he was an odd one in my book, i never had a guy respect me so much, i was a princess in his eyes.. sure enough we hung out for the 2 months prior to my trip which was the last thing i had expected and i put him thru hell that weekend but he was here with open arms when i returned. we then made things official and we learned from each other as we let things play out on thier own. but every relationship loses its newness and issues come up. we had ours even tho friends say "perfectness". some things that could have been worked out although werent since never mentioned. needless to say things ended for us but not in a bad way though my heart was wounded. almost 3 months of being his girlfriend when we relooked at things and saw we were more friends than anything. but that had become okay with me prior to it occuring, i could not imagine losing this guy. the last thing i wanted was for things to turn ugly or end badly. lucky for me things never turned that way and we continue to be friends.
as all things in life you learn from your experiences and mistakes in order to make you a better person. im at that point where im looking out for me. im also looking out for him. he is now one of my best guy friends. our paths in life may cross again but for now we go our separate ways. and im glad after tonight to see that i have someone who still cares for me and will be there thru out lifes obstacles even if one was our "us" situation. it was awesome to talk for over an hour like we did in the beginning. talking about life and where we stand. as of this minute im completely single again and it feels good. yes things will be awkward at times as others come around but we will be there for each other. there is nothing to hold back nor reason to. its great to know that we are able to step out of where we were and be in a better place and be able to learn from each other and watch as other things have a chance to develop. im a true believer that everything happens for a reason, what is meant to be will come around, everyone has a purpose in our lives and life has a path to lead us on. and yes i mean every word ive said. this is how i feel. yes he and i will always have a place together and now it is our friendship we will continue to nurture as we stay close in what lies ahead as we go our separate ways that life may lead us.
i luv ya to death as a friend babe, i always will. and in the end, who knows how it may be, but id have nothing less than a friend in you ever. thanks for everything that you are and have been in my life, you dont know what you do, but you do it well. i look forward to many more talks and time together as we strive to do whats best for us as individuals and see where we each want to be at this time in life. whats doesnt kill us only makes us stronger. God bless the broken road that let you be an amazing part of my life.