I liked this:

[hdben]

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found
by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Habib, raises
the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40cal, and you
are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does
the Glock have the appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a
loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society
and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so
deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make
this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click..... (sounds
of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one?

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!