Angst... but with happy endings
Yup, angsty slashy gay love is a rather huge kink of mine. As long as they end happily, that is. So, here are a few memorable ones that I think you should totally read!!
Title: The Web of Broken Dreams
Author: Drizl
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~24,000+
Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, explicit m/m sex, heavy angst
Summary: I have been told that the difference between love and hate is like walking a muggle tight rope. Will Draco fall or can he be saved?
Why I loved it: First off, the summary jumped out at me and demanded I pay attention to it. So I did and boy, was it worth it. From the first paragraph to the last, my heart aches literally for Draco. I've always had a thing for damaged!Malfoys and this sad, sad Draco pulls at my heartstrings in all the right places. Reading this hurts because it makes you sympathize with Draco. His fragile grasp on reality, the raw pain of regret, guilt and lingering fear, his acute believe of his own worthlessness and most of all his disappointment in the father he used to idolize as a child... everything's all so visceral and you just feel. Then came little baby Teddy with his Itsy Bitsy Spider song and his adorable attachment to his sad, sad cousin, Dray. And there's Harry. You think everything isn't so hopeless after all because this time, it makes you hope.
Truly beautiful writing and realistic portrayal of characters - especially Teddy! The switching between Draco's and Harry's p.o.v makes the story all the more addictive. Oh, and the comfort sex! Don't forget the comfort sex!
Excerpt(optional):
I roll my eyes, because I don't look anything close to nice. My clothes hang loosely on my thin frame. My skin is ashen, rivaling that of a vampire. Teddy sings loudly that the rain has now washed the spider out. He then attaches his body to my leg.
"Up," he says. I stare down at the child who is now trying to climb my trousers. "Up Dray, up."
"Pick the boy up, Draco," my mother says. She is biting the inside of her cheek, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Up, up, up, up," Teddy chants. To get the child to halt his incessant screeching, I bend down and catch him as he leaps into my arms. I stumble but manage to retain my balance. Teddy wraps his arms around my neck and screams something that sounds close to apparate. I look at Andromeda and my mother, silently begging for help. They both smirk and disappear.
"You're crazy to trust me," I say. Teddy squeals again and hugs my neck tighter. It suddenly occurs to me, he is the first person besides my mother, to touch me in a way that does not involve extreme pain. I pull back slightly and stare at Teddy. He offers me a wide grin and giggles. He then buries his face into my neck, singing about the spider again. I notice he has changed his hair to blond. I shake my head and apparate to Diagon Alley.
Title: The Dust of Retreat
Author: Sceptic.Idiot
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~28,000+
Warnings: minor character death, suicide (minor character), depression, self-harm, violent nightmares, blood (mild)
Summary: Draco is a broken, apathetic shell of a man. He can't find the will to fight away his demons. One night with Harry Potter changes everything.
Why I loved it: Because this is truly first rate story-telling! Truly exceptional writing with very vivid imagery and hot sex scenes that make your toes curl in delight! I stumbled across this fic by accident while trying to look up another fic and boy, was I ever glad I clicked on the wrong fic! This Draco, despite his broken and damaged psyche is truly one of the sexiest Draco I've ever read. And perhaps, that's exactly his number one appeal. Your heart aches for him; for all his loses from the War, for the tangible guilt he feels over things beyond his control, for his acute loneliness. It makes you yearn to wrap him up in the fuzziest, softest, most comfortable blanket you can find and hide him away from the big mean world. Then, he looks at Harry just like that and says the sexy things he says and your breath hitches. Just like that, you're hopelessly smitten with him. This Draco may be dangerously damaged but my God, if he isn't the most gorgeous thing alive (in my imagination) in my eyes!
All that plus a confused-about-his-sexuality!Harry who picks Draco (duh!) to experiment hot yummy sweaty sexy gay mansmex with... oh Harry, you lucky, lucky man, you! Seriously, the sex scenes takes my breath away! What makes it all the more addictive are the underlying hints of minor d/s elements woven in between caresses and licks and moans and and kisses.
Regardless of the angst and the multitude of Draco's issues with life and guilt, this is one of the hottest fics I have ever read!
Excerpt(optional):
Good day, pleased to introduce to you Draco Malfoy, 24, friendless, hollow, broken shell of a man. How do you do?
At least now I can consider this my atonement for my sins. I'm far more broken than anything they could've expected after a couple of years at Azkaban.
But I still can't wash away that stench of guilt from my skin.
I scrub at it with my nails in the shower sometimes, when the smell gets too bad. I feel it enveloping me, choking me, squeezing my soul. I still don't know what it is that I feel guilty for, all I know is that I do. I'm choking on the dust of my retreat.
I break blood more often than not. And afterwards, when I lie in my huge bed in that desolate Manor, and I stare up at the ceiling, still sopping wet and bleeding over my sheets, I'd deny even under Veritaserum the tears that make their way silently down the sides of my face, over my temple and into my hair.
Title: Lonely Moon
Author: Eleventy7
Rating: R
Word Count: ~70,000++
Warnings: minor character death, werewolf mauling, minor gore (in passing mention), colourful language
Summary: More than a decade after the Battle, Harry returns to Hogwarts as a professor and discovers a student with a familiar face and an unexpected past.
Why I loved it: Among all the Next Gen kids, I've always nurtured a soft fluffy spot for Scorpius Malfoy and well, he's just charming in this! What I like most about this fic is that Harry, as Professor Potter and his interaction with his students is very realistically written. In fact the children from his class sounds just like my many (young) cousins. In short, they're all brats. Yet, this fic makes me adore all of them. Little Scorpius though is THE brat of the century and I love him. So much. 70% of the fic revolves mostly around Harry and Scorpius... and the other children but you get to see the others too: Draco (duh!), Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Teddy.
The pace is slow and drawn out with interesting titbits of information regarding the main characters scattered here and there. Everything's all beautifully written and in such a realistic way too. No one's wholly perfect or flawless in this piece and everyone makes mistakes, harbour dark secrets and have their own issues to live with. I love it.
Excerpt(optional):
As the Ravenclaw talked, Harry followed with his own textbook but kept glancing at Scorpius. The boy was constantly fidgeting, looking bored and glancing around trying to catch fellow students' eyes. Copsley finished his paragraph and Harry spoke.
"Malfoy, the next paragraph please."
"I don't want to."
"Malfoy, that was not a request. That was a demand."
"I hate reading this shit, it's boring -"
The class gasped; a group of Ravenclaws looked collectively outraged.
"Sir, he swore sir!"
"Sir, he said the S word!"
"I heard him myself, thankyou," Harry replied. "Malfoy, I do not want to hear language like that again. It's unnecessary, uncouth and unwelcome."
"Sorry, sir," Scorpius said. It was impossible to tell whether he meant it. Harry decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Title: The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune
Author:
secretsalex
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~20k
Warnings: mpreg, mentions of abortion
Summary: If Astoria won't carry their child, Draco will.
Why I loved it: I don't even know where to begin with why this fic is freaking phenomenal! Truly exceptional writing, amazing portrayal of Draco and Harry, a rollercoster tumble of emotions and the most perfect ending ever. There are some really vivid and memorable imagery in this fic! From the scene wherein Draco first became enchanted with his unborn daughter to the birth of his firstborn - beautiful and heart-breakingly real. I felt wholly immersed with the story and the trials and tribulations in Draco's life. This is one of the most original male pregnancy plot I have ever read! For the most part, I truly do not know how to describe just how amazing I find this fic - simply because by the time I reached the ending, I'm rendered utterly speechless with unadulterated awe. Words, no matter how descriptive would always fail to truly capture the uniqueness of this fic. So, that's all I'm saying and if you truly want to know more... READ IT!!
Excerpt(optional):
“I have no rights to my child, then?”
Healer Edmunds fixes a speculative gaze on him. “Not unless you want to carry the child,” she finally says.
Draco stares at her. “Bit late for that, isn’t it?” Male pregnancy is not a complete unknown in the wizarding world, but it’s complicated-not to mention uncertain and expensive. And anyway, it’s no longer an option.
“Not entirely. Two successful cases of a transfer of foetus have occurred-I’m surprised you haven’t read about them, given your interest in potions, actually,” Edmunds begins.
“Fertility potions are a bit outside my area,” Draco snaps.
“Yes, well. In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that there have been two cases-both Swiss-in which a foetus has been successfully transferred from one carrier to another. Both cases involved mothers who became ill-fatally so-and the fathers completing the pregnancy.”
“So you’re telling me I could carry the baby the rest of the term.” Draco barks out dry laughter. “You can’t be serious.”
Title: Hold back the years, hold back the hours (I want to live to see the sun break through these days)
Author:
nimielle
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~40k
Warnings: Massive amounts of angst, extremely dislikeable Harry, phobias, possible triggers, evil Weasleys, perceived infidelity, non-linear story telling (author's warnings - not mine)
Summary: Draco is sentenced to a year of community service at the Ministry with Harry as his custodian, old hostilities arise and nobody can tell where life will lead them.
Why I loved it: What's not to like? Okay, maybe Harry - but only for a bit...Okay, for about half the story, but minor details. Anyways, this fic manages to hit almost all my squee buttons at one go. First, there's a downtrodden Draco trust under Auror Potter's supervision, Draco getting bullied and Harry coming to the rescue, sweet fluffy Drarry sex, the break-up, the resulting angst and finally the getting-back-together scenes - I love them all. So, it makes me want to thump Harry hard on the head for being such an insensitive bastard half the time but it also makes me want to pet him and offer him reassurances that everything will be alright. He breaks your heart but that's what makes this story so appealing in the first place.
Excerpt(optional):
Draco wrapped himself in Harry’s dressing gown, since many of his clothes and possessions were still at Malfoy Manor. He pressed the soft fabric to his face and inhaled the scent clinging to it.
Finally he made his way downstairs, following the scent of fresh fried bacon and coffee that was drifting up from the kitchen. Harry is making me breakfast, he thought happily. Smiling brightly he stepped into the room. His mind was already filled with thoughts of wrapping his arms around Harry, claiming what was his and ending up making love to him on the kitchen table, like they had so many times in his fantasies.
The sight that met his eyes made his steps falter and then stop dead. Harry was sitting at the table, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee and Ginevra was standing at the stove, just replacing the pan she’d used to fry the bacon and eggs that were now steaming on Harry’s plate.
Title: The Web of Broken Dreams
Author: Drizl
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~24,000+
Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, explicit m/m sex, heavy angst
Summary: I have been told that the difference between love and hate is like walking a muggle tight rope. Will Draco fall or can he be saved?
Why I loved it: First off, the summary jumped out at me and demanded I pay attention to it. So I did and boy, was it worth it. From the first paragraph to the last, my heart aches literally for Draco. I've always had a thing for damaged!Malfoys and this sad, sad Draco pulls at my heartstrings in all the right places. Reading this hurts because it makes you sympathize with Draco. His fragile grasp on reality, the raw pain of regret, guilt and lingering fear, his acute believe of his own worthlessness and most of all his disappointment in the father he used to idolize as a child... everything's all so visceral and you just feel. Then came little baby Teddy with his Itsy Bitsy Spider song and his adorable attachment to his sad, sad cousin, Dray. And there's Harry. You think everything isn't so hopeless after all because this time, it makes you hope.
Truly beautiful writing and realistic portrayal of characters - especially Teddy! The switching between Draco's and Harry's p.o.v makes the story all the more addictive. Oh, and the comfort sex! Don't forget the comfort sex!
Excerpt(optional):
I roll my eyes, because I don't look anything close to nice. My clothes hang loosely on my thin frame. My skin is ashen, rivaling that of a vampire. Teddy sings loudly that the rain has now washed the spider out. He then attaches his body to my leg.
"Up," he says. I stare down at the child who is now trying to climb my trousers. "Up Dray, up."
"Pick the boy up, Draco," my mother says. She is biting the inside of her cheek, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Up, up, up, up," Teddy chants. To get the child to halt his incessant screeching, I bend down and catch him as he leaps into my arms. I stumble but manage to retain my balance. Teddy wraps his arms around my neck and screams something that sounds close to apparate. I look at Andromeda and my mother, silently begging for help. They both smirk and disappear.
"You're crazy to trust me," I say. Teddy squeals again and hugs my neck tighter. It suddenly occurs to me, he is the first person besides my mother, to touch me in a way that does not involve extreme pain. I pull back slightly and stare at Teddy. He offers me a wide grin and giggles. He then buries his face into my neck, singing about the spider again. I notice he has changed his hair to blond. I shake my head and apparate to Diagon Alley.
Title: The Dust of Retreat
Author: Sceptic.Idiot
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~28,000+
Warnings: minor character death, suicide (minor character), depression, self-harm, violent nightmares, blood (mild)
Summary: Draco is a broken, apathetic shell of a man. He can't find the will to fight away his demons. One night with Harry Potter changes everything.
Why I loved it: Because this is truly first rate story-telling! Truly exceptional writing with very vivid imagery and hot sex scenes that make your toes curl in delight! I stumbled across this fic by accident while trying to look up another fic and boy, was I ever glad I clicked on the wrong fic! This Draco, despite his broken and damaged psyche is truly one of the sexiest Draco I've ever read. And perhaps, that's exactly his number one appeal. Your heart aches for him; for all his loses from the War, for the tangible guilt he feels over things beyond his control, for his acute loneliness. It makes you yearn to wrap him up in the fuzziest, softest, most comfortable blanket you can find and hide him away from the big mean world. Then, he looks at Harry just like that and says the sexy things he says and your breath hitches. Just like that, you're hopelessly smitten with him. This Draco may be dangerously damaged but my God, if he isn't the most gorgeous thing alive (in my imagination) in my eyes!
All that plus a confused-about-his-sexuality!Harry who picks Draco (duh!) to experiment hot yummy sweaty sexy gay mansmex with... oh Harry, you lucky, lucky man, you! Seriously, the sex scenes takes my breath away! What makes it all the more addictive are the underlying hints of minor d/s elements woven in between caresses and licks and moans and and kisses.
Regardless of the angst and the multitude of Draco's issues with life and guilt, this is one of the hottest fics I have ever read!
Excerpt(optional):
Good day, pleased to introduce to you Draco Malfoy, 24, friendless, hollow, broken shell of a man. How do you do?
At least now I can consider this my atonement for my sins. I'm far more broken than anything they could've expected after a couple of years at Azkaban.
But I still can't wash away that stench of guilt from my skin.
I scrub at it with my nails in the shower sometimes, when the smell gets too bad. I feel it enveloping me, choking me, squeezing my soul. I still don't know what it is that I feel guilty for, all I know is that I do. I'm choking on the dust of my retreat.
I break blood more often than not. And afterwards, when I lie in my huge bed in that desolate Manor, and I stare up at the ceiling, still sopping wet and bleeding over my sheets, I'd deny even under Veritaserum the tears that make their way silently down the sides of my face, over my temple and into my hair.
Title: Lonely Moon
Author: Eleventy7
Rating: R
Word Count: ~70,000++
Warnings: minor character death, werewolf mauling, minor gore (in passing mention), colourful language
Summary: More than a decade after the Battle, Harry returns to Hogwarts as a professor and discovers a student with a familiar face and an unexpected past.
Why I loved it: Among all the Next Gen kids, I've always nurtured a soft fluffy spot for Scorpius Malfoy and well, he's just charming in this! What I like most about this fic is that Harry, as Professor Potter and his interaction with his students is very realistically written. In fact the children from his class sounds just like my many (young) cousins. In short, they're all brats. Yet, this fic makes me adore all of them. Little Scorpius though is THE brat of the century and I love him. So much. 70% of the fic revolves mostly around Harry and Scorpius... and the other children but you get to see the others too: Draco (duh!), Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Teddy.
The pace is slow and drawn out with interesting titbits of information regarding the main characters scattered here and there. Everything's all beautifully written and in such a realistic way too. No one's wholly perfect or flawless in this piece and everyone makes mistakes, harbour dark secrets and have their own issues to live with. I love it.
Excerpt(optional):
As the Ravenclaw talked, Harry followed with his own textbook but kept glancing at Scorpius. The boy was constantly fidgeting, looking bored and glancing around trying to catch fellow students' eyes. Copsley finished his paragraph and Harry spoke.
"Malfoy, the next paragraph please."
"I don't want to."
"Malfoy, that was not a request. That was a demand."
"I hate reading this shit, it's boring -"
The class gasped; a group of Ravenclaws looked collectively outraged.
"Sir, he swore sir!"
"Sir, he said the S word!"
"I heard him myself, thankyou," Harry replied. "Malfoy, I do not want to hear language like that again. It's unnecessary, uncouth and unwelcome."
"Sorry, sir," Scorpius said. It was impossible to tell whether he meant it. Harry decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Title: The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune
Author:
secretsalex
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~20k
Warnings: mpreg, mentions of abortion
Summary: If Astoria won't carry their child, Draco will.
Why I loved it: I don't even know where to begin with why this fic is freaking phenomenal! Truly exceptional writing, amazing portrayal of Draco and Harry, a rollercoster tumble of emotions and the most perfect ending ever. There are some really vivid and memorable imagery in this fic! From the scene wherein Draco first became enchanted with his unborn daughter to the birth of his firstborn - beautiful and heart-breakingly real. I felt wholly immersed with the story and the trials and tribulations in Draco's life. This is one of the most original male pregnancy plot I have ever read! For the most part, I truly do not know how to describe just how amazing I find this fic - simply because by the time I reached the ending, I'm rendered utterly speechless with unadulterated awe. Words, no matter how descriptive would always fail to truly capture the uniqueness of this fic. So, that's all I'm saying and if you truly want to know more... READ IT!!
Excerpt(optional):
“I have no rights to my child, then?”
Healer Edmunds fixes a speculative gaze on him. “Not unless you want to carry the child,” she finally says.
Draco stares at her. “Bit late for that, isn’t it?” Male pregnancy is not a complete unknown in the wizarding world, but it’s complicated-not to mention uncertain and expensive. And anyway, it’s no longer an option.
“Not entirely. Two successful cases of a transfer of foetus have occurred-I’m surprised you haven’t read about them, given your interest in potions, actually,” Edmunds begins.
“Fertility potions are a bit outside my area,” Draco snaps.
“Yes, well. In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that there have been two cases-both Swiss-in which a foetus has been successfully transferred from one carrier to another. Both cases involved mothers who became ill-fatally so-and the fathers completing the pregnancy.”
“So you’re telling me I could carry the baby the rest of the term.” Draco barks out dry laughter. “You can’t be serious.”
Title: Hold back the years, hold back the hours (I want to live to see the sun break through these days)
Author:
nimielle
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~40k
Warnings: Massive amounts of angst, extremely dislikeable Harry, phobias, possible triggers, evil Weasleys, perceived infidelity, non-linear story telling (author's warnings - not mine)
Summary: Draco is sentenced to a year of community service at the Ministry with Harry as his custodian, old hostilities arise and nobody can tell where life will lead them.
Why I loved it: What's not to like? Okay, maybe Harry - but only for a bit...Okay, for about half the story, but minor details. Anyways, this fic manages to hit almost all my squee buttons at one go. First, there's a downtrodden Draco trust under Auror Potter's supervision, Draco getting bullied and Harry coming to the rescue, sweet fluffy Drarry sex, the break-up, the resulting angst and finally the getting-back-together scenes - I love them all. So, it makes me want to thump Harry hard on the head for being such an insensitive bastard half the time but it also makes me want to pet him and offer him reassurances that everything will be alright. He breaks your heart but that's what makes this story so appealing in the first place.
Excerpt(optional):
Draco wrapped himself in Harry’s dressing gown, since many of his clothes and possessions were still at Malfoy Manor. He pressed the soft fabric to his face and inhaled the scent clinging to it.
Finally he made his way downstairs, following the scent of fresh fried bacon and coffee that was drifting up from the kitchen. Harry is making me breakfast, he thought happily. Smiling brightly he stepped into the room. His mind was already filled with thoughts of wrapping his arms around Harry, claiming what was his and ending up making love to him on the kitchen table, like they had so many times in his fantasies.
The sight that met his eyes made his steps falter and then stop dead. Harry was sitting at the table, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee and Ginevra was standing at the stove, just replacing the pan she’d used to fry the bacon and eggs that were now steaming on Harry’s plate.