Emotional Draco-centric Fic: Make My Demons Run
Title: Make My Demons Run
Author: lauren3210 - part of hd-smoochfest
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 28,000
Summary: After giving evidence in defence of Draco at his trial, suddenly Potter is everywhere he turns as he completes his community service. Draco hadn't expected any of it, nor had he expected those long buried feelings he'd once had to come rising back to the surface. He definitely didn't expect what happened next.
Why I loved it:
This is such an emotional story, grappling with the themes of choices, forgiveness, and rebuilding. It takes its time, but it's so worth it in the end.
The first half is an intensive exploration of the character of Draco Malfoy, as he stands trial shortly after the final battle. Through his memories, we see bits of his childhood and the pressures he was under that ultimately led him to this pass. How trapped he felt then, and how bitter and done with it all he now is.
The second half is set against Draco's community service rebuilding Hogwarts. Others are there too, including Harry Potter, but Draco can only assume they want nothing to do with him, and even tries to shut himself away and work alone. But Harry won't have it. He keeps inserting himself into Draco's presence, insisting he see that they are not so very different from each other after all, and giving Draco the confidence he needs to trust himself and his choices - choices he never really had a chance to make before.
There are so many lovely, telling moments in this story, but I don't want to spoil them for you. But just, Neville! He's terrific. And Harry is amazing. Patient, and understanding, and giving Draco everything he didn't even know he needed. But also living with guilt himself, and needing Draco in return. And then, god! The sex at the end is incredible. It's the culmination of everything that came before, and is absolutely true to the characters and oh so emotionally cathartic.
Excerpt:
Apart from his school clothes and books, the only personal item he found was his diary.
It was an old one, spanning the end of Fourth Year and the beginning of Fifth. It must have fallen down the back of the bed at some point and been overlooked by the house elves coming in to clean at the end of the year; usually, any personal items found were sent on home to their owner. Draco pulled himself into the middle of his mattress and sat cross legged, the diary balanced on his ankles. It was amusing in a sadistic sort of way, to see the things his fifteen year old self complained about. And he had apparently complained a lot: His mother hadn’t sent the correct hair care potions to him; Pansy had laughed at him over his Potter obsession; the food was never anywhere near as good as the meals the house elves at the manor served them; Potter hadn’t glanced his way even once during dinner; Blaise had used up the last of Draco’s skin cream; he couldn’t work out where Potter was disappearing to with his friends, no matter how hard Draco tried to follow him...
There was a lot about Potter written in the book, and Draco couldn’t help but notice that the entries about him went on for pages and pages, Draco’s younger self scribbling down every little thing about Potter that he had noticed during the day. His cheeks burned, because he had completely forgotten. All the terror and bad choices throughout the last two years had taken over him so completely that Draco had forgotten the huge raging crush he’d had on the Gryffindor, that had started on the night of the Yule Ball. Those bloody bottle green robes, Draco had had daydreams about running his hands under those things for weeks afterwards, and Pansy and Blaise hadn’t let up the teasing for months once they’d noticed.
Draco groaned and covered his eyes with his hands, because now that he had remembered, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He reached out blindly and slammed the diary closed, then fell to the side and buried his head in the scratchy pillow. The absolute last thing he needed right now was for that crush to come back.
Author: lauren3210 - part of hd-smoochfest
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 28,000
Summary: After giving evidence in defence of Draco at his trial, suddenly Potter is everywhere he turns as he completes his community service. Draco hadn't expected any of it, nor had he expected those long buried feelings he'd once had to come rising back to the surface. He definitely didn't expect what happened next.
Why I loved it:
This is such an emotional story, grappling with the themes of choices, forgiveness, and rebuilding. It takes its time, but it's so worth it in the end.
The first half is an intensive exploration of the character of Draco Malfoy, as he stands trial shortly after the final battle. Through his memories, we see bits of his childhood and the pressures he was under that ultimately led him to this pass. How trapped he felt then, and how bitter and done with it all he now is.
The second half is set against Draco's community service rebuilding Hogwarts. Others are there too, including Harry Potter, but Draco can only assume they want nothing to do with him, and even tries to shut himself away and work alone. But Harry won't have it. He keeps inserting himself into Draco's presence, insisting he see that they are not so very different from each other after all, and giving Draco the confidence he needs to trust himself and his choices - choices he never really had a chance to make before.
There are so many lovely, telling moments in this story, but I don't want to spoil them for you. But just, Neville! He's terrific. And Harry is amazing. Patient, and understanding, and giving Draco everything he didn't even know he needed. But also living with guilt himself, and needing Draco in return. And then, god! The sex at the end is incredible. It's the culmination of everything that came before, and is absolutely true to the characters and oh so emotionally cathartic.
Excerpt:
Apart from his school clothes and books, the only personal item he found was his diary.
It was an old one, spanning the end of Fourth Year and the beginning of Fifth. It must have fallen down the back of the bed at some point and been overlooked by the house elves coming in to clean at the end of the year; usually, any personal items found were sent on home to their owner. Draco pulled himself into the middle of his mattress and sat cross legged, the diary balanced on his ankles. It was amusing in a sadistic sort of way, to see the things his fifteen year old self complained about. And he had apparently complained a lot: His mother hadn’t sent the correct hair care potions to him; Pansy had laughed at him over his Potter obsession; the food was never anywhere near as good as the meals the house elves at the manor served them; Potter hadn’t glanced his way even once during dinner; Blaise had used up the last of Draco’s skin cream; he couldn’t work out where Potter was disappearing to with his friends, no matter how hard Draco tried to follow him...
There was a lot about Potter written in the book, and Draco couldn’t help but notice that the entries about him went on for pages and pages, Draco’s younger self scribbling down every little thing about Potter that he had noticed during the day. His cheeks burned, because he had completely forgotten. All the terror and bad choices throughout the last two years had taken over him so completely that Draco had forgotten the huge raging crush he’d had on the Gryffindor, that had started on the night of the Yule Ball. Those bloody bottle green robes, Draco had had daydreams about running his hands under those things for weeks afterwards, and Pansy and Blaise hadn’t let up the teasing for months once they’d noticed.
Draco groaned and covered his eyes with his hands, because now that he had remembered, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He reached out blindly and slammed the diary closed, then fell to the side and buried his head in the scratchy pillow. The absolute last thing he needed right now was for that crush to come back.