hd inspiration for realitiedout (2)

[hd_inspired_mod]

Author: Anonymous
Recipient: realitiedout
Title: Like a Shag on a Rock (Part 2 of 2)

Like a Shag on a Rock Part 2 of 2

By the time they arrived back at the hotel, Draco was fractious and tired and Harry was about to pull his hair out listening to him. Carmel poured them both cool drinks and it was a testament to how tired Draco was that he barely argued that he was expected to drink beer, just accepted the drink and let Harry watch the cute way his throat worked as he swallowed the cold frothy drink.

“Stop staring, Harry, you’re making me nervous.”

“I have to for the cover,” Harry insisted. Not that it was true; he could easily not stare.

Draco merely gave him a knowing smirk. “It’s gone beyond the job, and you know it,” he said.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Harry replied, grinning.

Draco waved his hand. “Fine. Whatever. But you can stop drooling, it’s most unbecoming.”

Carmel walked over with another couple of cold beers. “Oh, bite your bum, Princess. Does an old dear good to see you young ones all hot and bothered over each other.” Her bright eyes laughed at Draco when he roused himself to look shocked at being told to bite his bum. He opened his mouth to complain, but she stopped him. “No need to get shirty with me. Now, here, blow the froth off these.” She placed the fresh beers on the table. “While I remember, Chuckles was in here earlier looking for you two blokes. He had to shoot through, but he’ll be back later on.”

“Did he say what he wanted,” Harry asked. Carmel shook her head.

“Dunno, ducks, seemed a bit toey, but.”

“All right, we’ll be here when he gets back,” Harry said, shrugging.

“Right you are, then. Well, this fart-arsing around isn’t going to get my work done. See you boys at dinner, then. Lots of the regulars will be in by then. You’ll stay?”

Harry nodded. “If I can keep my hands off this one long enough.” He grinned and gave Draco a lascivious wink. Draco replied with a sickly, simpering smile of his own.

As she walked away, Harry leant closer to Draco, who’d seemed to have overcome his tiredness. “Wonder why he was looking for us. Do you think he might have seen through the cover?”

“It’s a possibility,” Draco nodded, the breath of his words close to Harry’s ear and sending small shivers along his spine.

“We’ll just take it as it comes, I guess.”

Just then Chuckles walked into the bar and he smiled at seeing Harry and Draco there. Harry noticed that his cold blue eyes didn’t smile, though, but he put it down to the man being a generally arrogant sort. “Keep on his good side, we need to get out to have a look at his place,” Harry whispered into Draco’s ear, before turning back to smile at Chuckles.

“G’day, boys,” Chuckles said as he dragged a chair out from the table and dropped his oversized body onto it.

“Hello, Chuckles,” Draco replied warily, though he did put a smile on his face. And Harry could have stood on the table and danced naked for all the attention Chuckles paid him. His eyes were firmly on Draco. He decided that he’d let Draco do the talking and see if they could organise getting out to see his property.

“Carmel said you’d been looking for us,” Draco said.

Chuckles nodded. “Just thought you might want to come and see me property.”

Carmel yelled out from the bar. “Harry, ducks, phone for you.”

Harry jumped up and headed towards her. “Phone’s out the back,” she said, indicating the direction with her head.

Harry hurried out to the phone to find it was Jonesy. “I’ll be coming out this afternoon. I’ve found some more information I think you both should have.”

“You can’t tell me on the phone?”

“No, I need to come out there.”

“All right, we’ll be waiting,” Harry replied and hung up.

When he returned to the bar, Draco and Chuckles were gone. Carmel called out to him. “Princess said he was going out to Chuckles’ place and he’d be back for dinner, ducks.”

“All right,” Harry replied, sighing. He’d just have to meet Jonesy by himself. He sighed and pulled up a stool at the bar. “May as well pour me a beer, thanks Carmel.”

An hour later, Harry was feeling the effects of a few beers and the almost constant fits of laughter that Carmel was inducing in him, telling him stories about how Rope and Stringy got given their names - apparently String isn’t as thick as Rope - and relating the story of how one night Stan dropped his guts in the pub and cleared it within seconds. Harry had no idea what she was talking about, until she told him that Stan had been on muster and been living on beans for a week. “Best way to clear a pub full of malingerers at closing time.” She roared in laughter, and Harry joined her. “Still stunk the next day. And the dunny budgies just swarmed, trying to get in. Never been so glad to have paid for the screens on the windows.”

Harry had no idea what ‘dunny budgies’ were, but he assumed that they were something that needed to be kept out of the pub and so he laughed along with Carmel. She was a good sort, really.

Jonesy arrived then, and sat down beside Harry, clapping him on the shoulder. “G’day. Where’s Princess, then?”

“Jonesy, hi,” Harry replied, grinning. “Chuckles took him out to see his place.”

The hand on Harry’s shoulder tightened perceptibly. “Err…Harry? Could I speak to you outside for a moment, please?”

“Sure,” Harry replied, alarm running through him, suddenly.

Jonesy grabbed him by the elbow and virtually dragged him outside. “Draco has gone to Chuckles’ on his own?” he asked, worry deep in his eyes.

“Yes. What’s wrong?”

“I was doing routine background checks on everyone who lives around these parts, in the Muggle registry. They have no record of a Noel Turner. None.”

“What does that mean?” Harry was beginning to get worried now. He knew Draco could take care of himself, but he still didn’t like to think of him off alone in a strange place with no support. As irritable as the blond was, he was still incredibly important to Harry and he was not going to let anything happen to him. Not if he could help it.

“My initial reaction was to put two and two together. The Basilisk venom and someone the Muggles have no record of… could have been a coincidence, but it wasn’t. Just heard back from your Ministry this morning. Noel Turner is a wizard. Born in England 45 years ago and moved out here when he was a child. His only known living relatives are still living in England, by the name of Crabbe.

Harry jerked back and paled, even as he was staring into Jonesy’s eyes.

“Harry? What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“We have to get out there right now,” Harry said, panic making his voice shake. “Vincent Crabbe was a friend of Draco’s back in school. He died in the final battle at Hogwarts. Draco was with him…they…he…” Harry stopped. “Can we Apparate out there? Now? Chuckles will blame Draco for Crabbe’s death. This might all have been a set up to lure Draco out here.”

Jonesy grabbed Harry again and they ran to the back of the building, making sure that no one was watching. “I’ll take you Side-Along,” Jonesy said.

Harry felt the familiar uncomfortable squeezing and when he opened his eyes they were in a copse of small stumpy trees overlooking a barren yard. Harry drew his wand and cast detection spells. “There are Apparition wards around that barn there,” he said, pointing to the rundown wooden building to their left. “I can’t detect anything else strong enough to be of any worry. I bet Draco is in that barn. Come on,” he said urgently and stepped out from behind the trees.

Jonesy grabbed his arm “Wait. You need to tell me why you think this was all set up to lure him out here. Why would he think the Ministry would send you two here?”

“I am the only one alive that’s fought and killed a Basilisk, and Draco, who is my partner has a ferret Animagus form that would have been able to smell the Basilisk, had there been one. I’m willing to bet that there isn’t one and that Noel Turner has been searching the globe and buying up all the stocks of Basilisk venom he’s been able to find.”

Jonesy nodded. “Makes sense seeing he’s been traveling. We can check that when we get back. You’d be safer with a Disillusionment Charm. He might be watching for you,” he pointed out and Harry kicked himself mentally. He’d been so worried about Draco that his training had been forgotten. He knew better than that, alien environment notwithstanding.

“I doubt it,” Harry said, though he cast the charm over both of them. “Draco is the one he would have wanted, not me. I barely knew Crabbe.”

“Even so,” Jonesy countered. Harry was glad he was here; he seemed to be a steady man in a crisis, dependable and competent. “Better to be safe than sorry.”

“I know. Let’s get closer to that window and see if we can see anything through it.”

Jonesy nodded and they crept quietly and quickly to the window, expecting at any second to have some alarms ringing out, but there were none, and they approached the grubby window undiscovered.

When Harry peered in he could see a big, almost empty, room, with tables set up at one end, the cauldrons on it bubbling away. Chuckles was standing near the tables pouring something blue into a cup.

And Draco was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, struggling to free his arms.

Harry’s heart went into his mouth. Sure, he’d had fantasies of tying Draco up - every time he put on the drama queen act and complained about something, Harry wanted to gag him and tie him up - but this looked positively mouth watering. And if Draco hadn’t been in a life-threatening situation, Harry might have taken advantage of the fact that a very vulnerable and helpless Draco Malfoy, pink-faced and tied to a chair struggling to get free, was an extremely provocative sight.

As it was… Harry cast a listening spell and hoped it wouldn’t set off any wards Chuckles might have set up. He half expected there not to be any wards; Chuckles had his man, now and he didn’t expect any interference because, as far as he knew, no one suspected him of anything.

“Such a shame that young people today can’t stay away from the drugs. You’ll be just one more statistic. A druggie. Good for nothing druggie. No one will miss you.” Chuckles seemed to have lost his strong Australian accent.

Draco struggled some more, but the gag in his mouth prevented Harry from hearing the words. He looked annoyed though. Harry wished there was a way to let Draco know that he was there. Jonesy whispered in his ear. “What are we waiting for?”

“Two things,” Harry whispered back. “Firstly, I can see Draco is all right for the moment. He’s pissed off as hell but he’s not injured or anything, so I want to see if Chuckles will convict himself out of his own mouth. I know we have enough evidence to convict him of kidnapping and attempted murder, but I want him convicted on the other murders as well. For the families. Secondly, I want to make sure there are no traps before we charge in there.”

Jonesy nodded. “I’ll make my way around the other side and look in the other window. When I see you make your move I’ll join you.”

“Right. I’ll go for Chuckles and you release Draco.”

“Good oh,” Jonesy said and went.

Chuckles had moved closer and removed Draco’s gag, which enabled him to let lose with a stream of invective. But Chuckles was ready for that and withdrew his wand, casting a silencing charm over him.

“The others weren’t anywhere near as much trouble as you are. But then their deaths won’t be half as satisfying as yours, so I suspect that might even it out a bit. Now, you’re going to have to take this potion, you realise. And it will go much easier if you don’t give me any trouble.”

Chuckles had the cup of the potion in his hand and was close enough to Draco that the blond had begun to try and back away in his chair as if to move out of reach. Right, that’s it, Harry decided. There would have to be enough evidence now. If not, then, too bad, Draco was in danger.

Harry stepped back and aimed a blasting hex at the wall. It exploded in bits of wood, splintering and leaving a gaping hole big enough for Harry to climb through. Relieved, he heard an answering hex from the other side of the room. Jonesy would get Draco.

Chuckles, who had jumped at the sound of the hex, made an effort to scrabble for his wand, but found himself hampered by the cup of potion he was holding. He dropped it and his wand appeared in his hand. As Harry raised his wand to cast, so did Chuckles, but Draco obviously had other ideas and launched himself as best he could, knocking Chuckles’ wand hand and skewing his aim.

Harry cast, “Stupefy!” and watched Chuckles drop face first to the ground. He raced over as Jonesy was freeing Draco from his bindings. Harry kicked Chuckles to make sure that he was unable to move and turned in time to catch Draco as he flung himself into Harry’s arms.

Shocked, he wrapped a trembling Draco up in a hug.

“I thought you’d never get here.”

“It’s all right. I’ll have to save your life more often if it gets me an armful of delicious blond,” Harry said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. There were massive threads of relief running through him, making him feel slightly giddy.

Draco pulled back a bit, scowling and trying to compose himself. He thanked Jonesy, then turned to Harry. “How did you know to come out here after me?”

“Well, that was Jonesy. Information came back on his research that Chuckles was a wizard who was related to Vince. That was all I needed to know to realise that all this had been set up. I’m just glad we were in time.”

Draco nodded. “There never was a Basilisk; he said he’d been searching for stocks of venom for years now and had finally found some in Africa recently.” He shuddered. “All those people died because he wanted revenge on me for Vince. I wasn’t responsible for Vince’s death. Was I?”

Draco looked into Harry’s eyes, doubt clouding them.

“Of course not,” Harry said, reaching out and stroking Draco’s arm. “Vince made his own choices that day and they led him to his death. Not you.”

Draco bit his lip, still doubting. “But…”

“No buts.” Harry drew Draco back into his arms. “It’s all over now.” He felt Draco relax against his shoulder, arms sliding around his waist tentatively, so he stood there and held him.

Jonesy coughed softly from beside him. “I’ll be taking Chuckles back to the station but we’ll let the Muggle Liaison Office work this one out. I’d be happy just to send him off to Sorrento, but they might decide they want to try him as a Muggle.”

“Sorrento?”

“Wizard jail here,” Jonesy replied, grabbing hold of Chuckles by the arm. “I’ll take this bloke back and then I’ll probably drop into the hotel tonight for a meal. Carmel does the best Italian pizza on a Saturday night, so there should be plenty of people in. Besides, I assume you’ll be leaving -“

“First thing in the morning,” came Draco’s voice from Harry’s shoulder.

Harry and Jonesy smiled at each other, Harry surprised. He’d have thought Draco would be all for heading home right now. Perhaps he wanted a chance to get himself back under control beforehand. “I’ll leave getting a statement from the both of you until tomorrow on your way through, then. You can enjoy the evening in peace.”

“Thanks for everything, Jonesy. Next time I come to Australia, I’ll be on holiday and might get a chance to actually see some of this country,” Harry said.

“You can have that on your own,” Draco said, voice still muffled from where he was snuggled against Harry’s shoulder. “I don’t know how you stand the heat and the dust and the spiders and snakes and -”

Harry and Jonesy laughed. “He’s obviously recovering nicely,” Jonesy said, giving Harry a wink as he Disapparated.

“Come on,” Harry said. “Let’s get you back to the hotel and you can have a nice long bath and relax.”

“Only if you wash my back, Potter,” Draco said, pulling back and giving Harry a smirk.

Harry rolled his eyes. “The things I have to do to see you naked, Princess…”

Draco whacked his arm. “Don’t call me Princess, or I - actually…” He trailed off and Harry looked at him perplexed. A mischievous look came into Draco’s eyes.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing.”

“There is. Tell me!”

“I will if you wash my back.”

“And we’re back to me calling you Princess again.” Harry laughed and Apparated them back into their room.

.o0o.

He rather thought that with all the excitement, using magic to run the bath, fill it full of sweet smelling bubbles and getting everything ready, was called for, and he was pleased that Draco seemed keen to stick to his side like glue. Draco was an excellent Auror generally, but today he’d had a close call, thousands of miles away from home and only Harry that was familiar. It was understandable that he be a little clingy. It was cute, really.

Draco undressed and climbed into the bath. Harry tried not to stare, but it was a useless attempt. Draco’s body was luscious. As it disappeared under the bubbles, Harry let out a disappointed sigh.

“Why don’t you climb in with me,” Draco said.

“You want me to?”

“No, I said that just to laugh at you.” Draco looked at him and crossed his eyes, playfully. He grinned. “You’ve already slept with me, you may as well bathe with me.”

Harry didn’t need to be asked twice. He stripped off and climbed into the bath settling himself down behind Draco, seeing as he was supposed to be washing Draco’s back.

Instead, Draco leant back against Harry’s chest. Surprised and more than pleased, Harry rested his chin on Draco’s shoulder and slid his hands over Draco’s where they were resting on his thighs.

Draco sighed, softly. “When I was a ferret, you smelled so good, I wanted to run up your leg and curl up in your pocket,” Draco said dreamily.

“That was the first time I’d seen you in Animagus form,” Harry replied, smiling against Draco’s neck. “You’re very cute and fluffy.”

“Hey!” Draco protested half heartedly by moving his head away from Harry’s lips. “I don’t do fluffy and cute.”

“All right, Princess.” Harry laughed.

Draco sighed and relaxed again back against Harry’s chest. “I’m not going to lose that nickname now, am I? You’re going to use it all the time, even at the office and soon everyone will be calling me that.”

He sounded troubled about it and Harry suddenly felt bad for it. “No, I won’t tell anyone, I promise, it will just be between you and I.” Harry placed a small kiss under Draco’s ear, which earned him a small sigh of contentment.

“Thank you, Harry.” The words were quiet, almost whispered. Harry wondered if this subdued Draco was all in response to the close call he’d had today or something else.

“Are you all right, Draco?” he asked.

Draco nodded. “Just very thankful to be here. I made a stupid mistake, Harry. I should never have gone with him without waiting for you. I know better than that.”

“What did he say to you to make you go with him?”

Draco snorted. “He told me Carmel had been relating the tale of the coffee incident this morning and how he could show me what a root was and I could come back and gloat to you that I knew and you didn’t.” Draco’s voice dropped again. “He knew me too well. Maybe that should have been a clue that not all was as it seemed.”

“He planned this all out, Draco,” Harry replied, rubbing Draco’s arms with his hands. “One way or the other he was going to get you out to his property on your own. You’ve done nothing to berate yourself over.”

“While I was tied up out there, all I could think about was how much I wanted you to come and save me. Can you imagine how mortifying that was? I just felt so lost in this huge country all by myself and not in a situation where I could do anything and through all that, I knew you would be all right; that you would find a way to save me. How do you do that? Just fit in wherever you go? You…command the place around you even while you blend in…I just…”

“Draco, you’re getting yourself all worked up over nothing. I’m your partner; of course I would come and rescue you. We back each other up. You’d do the same for me. In fact, you did. When Chuckles was firing a curse at me you bumped him off line and saved me. Thank you for that.”

Draco raised his hand to pat Harry’s cheek. “You’re welcome.”

They sat there for a while not saying anything, Harry enjoying Draco nestling into him probably more than was good for him if his erection was anything to go by. He’d have liked to reach down and stroke himself, or, even better, for Draco to do it, but he was thankful that Draco wasn’t sitting far enough back to be squirming against it. He didn’t think his partner would appreciate his hard cock digging into his bum. Pity. He satisfied himself with leaving small kisses under Draco’s ear and rubbing Draco’s thighs with the palms of his hands.

“The hero always gets the girl, Harry,” Draco whispered and stretched back against him languorously. “And if everyone insists that I am the Princess in this story then you’d better assume I’m the girl. And hurry up about it; your hands on my skin have made me ache for them on my cock.”

Harry gasped as a roll of Draco’s hips that pushed his beautiful looking erection clear of the water accompanied these words.

“I’ve been hard for you since the moment I got in the bath,” Harry said as he growled and took hold of Draco’s cock and began to stroke it.

“Yesss,” Draco hissed, reaching behind him for Harry’s cock and timing his strokes, albeit at an awkward angle, to Harry’s.

“This will not be just a one-off, Draco, I don’t do those.”

“Whatever, Potter, just don’t stop.”

Harry stopped, hard though it was, because Draco’s hand on his cock was the singular most delightfully fucking erotic thing he’d ever felt. Draco squawked.

“Potter? What the-”

“I meant it. I don’t care how hard it’s going to be dating and working together, I want to do this relationship thing properly.”

“You idiot! How long have we been working together?” Draco was getting desperate and was squirming around trying to flex his hips to push his cock through Harry’s hand.

“Three years,” he replied, closing his eyes and trying frantically to keep his composure.

“Have you ever seen me with another man?”

“I don’t know what you do with your personal life.”

“You are completely daft, Potter. I was waiting for you.”

“Fuck!”

“I’m not going to last that long. Now, please, make me come. I need to so much.” Draco was virtually whimpering now and Harry felt a jolt of arousal flare as he bent his head to Draco’s neck and bit down as he stroked Draco to completion. He followed not long after Draco and held on to him while he calmed his thumping heart.

Well, this was a surprise. A wonderful one, to be sure, but a surprise all the same. He’d been under the impression that whilst they were friends, Draco was too fastidious and thought himself too good for anyone, let alone a bespectacled, messy haired ex-hero.

Draco snuggled back into Harry’s chest, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Warm the water, again, would you Harry? Seems like the least a boyfriend could do for the love of his life after he’s just escaped certain death at the hands of a madman.”

Harry laughed and picked up his wand, casting a heating charm over the water, so his Princess of a boyfriend didn’t catch a chill.

Draco smiled smugly and kissed Harry’s cheek. “I never did find out what a root was,” Draco mused as they snuggled in the bath.

.o0o.

A couple of hours later saw Harry sitting in the rapidly filling bar nursing a drink and chatting to Jonesy. Chuckles had been turned over to the Muggle authorities via the Muggle/Wizard Liaison Office, where all the evidence would be adjusted to fit Muggle court requirements. The Ministry felt that as no wizards had been killed, it was more appropriate for Chuckles to be tried as a Muggle. He’d be surrounded by wizards in any case and held in quarters that were warded against Apparition.

It seemed clear that Carmel’s pizza night was popular as, according to Jonesy, almost everyone in the district was in. Which meant that there were about forty people in the bar. Huge crowd, Harry grinned to himself. Draco would be along shortly, but he’d come up with a way to teach the jokers in the crowd a lesson for underestimating him and calling him Princess.

Arrangements had been made with Carmel, who was sworn to secrecy, and now, all Harry was waiting for was the minutes to pass until the agreed upon time arrived. Several of the regulars had asked where Draco was and Harry rolled his eyes and told them that he was having a lie down. That of course was the cue for the jokes about having a delicate princess for a partner. Harry ignored those and just smiled and nodded.

As he looked around he saw Rope and Stringy teaming up against Stan and a reluctant Jonesy, who they’d dragged off his stool a few seconds ago, in a game of darts. Jonesy was insisting that he knew nothing about getting the pointy things in the corkboard and then proceeded to score a bulls-eye every time. Harry felt the tingle of magic and guffawed at the looks of shock on the faces of the other players. Jonesy gave Harry a look and a wink which Harry returned and turned back to Cabbage who was sitting next to him and trying to tell Harry about the time he’d fallen off the back of his tractor and broken his leg.

“What happened then?” Harry asked.

“Well, stone the flaming crows, the tractor toddled off down the rest of the paddock right into the electric fence. Lucky the missus was out in the shed and heard the alarm go off or I’d have been stuck out there until--”

But whatever it was that he’d have been stuck out there until remained a mystery as Carmel called for quiet.

“Quiet, you pack of galahs,” she yelled. When she had everyone’s attention, she continued. “Now, as a special treat, though youse blokes don’t deserve it…” There was jeers and heckles at that comment, but she waved them aside and kept going. “I’ve lined up some entertainment for you.” Carmel turned around and flipped a switch that set some quite raunchy music playing through the room. Turning back to the crowd, she pointed to the door. “Put your hands together for Miss Behave.”

All eyes were turned towards the door, which was flung open wide. Standing with his hands on his hips was Draco.

Dressed in a long black slinky evening gown, split up the sides to his hips, with strappy stiletto heels encrusted with sparkling rhinestones and elbow length black gloves. Draco had cast a depilatory charm on himself, which Harry was keen to feel the results of, and they’d taken ages fixing his hair and make up with Glamours so that if Harry hadn’t known it was Draco, he’d have thought it was some gorgeous blonde woman.

From the appreciative wolf whistles and hoots coming from the crowd, he thought they’d done their job well. Harry smiled at Draco, who gave him a dark sultry look and sashayed into the room. Carmel tossed him a microphone and Draco began to huskily sing the words to ‘Big Spender’ as he swayed his hips and moved around the room, pulling on this man’s hair, or chucking that one under the chin.

To a man, every single eye was held fast by the lithe, extremely feminine figure dancing seductively around the room. Draco - Miss Behave - snuggled up to Jonesy, who blushed and suffered the teasing from his mates over the attention before Draco moved on to the next one.

As the song played, repeated when needed, every single man had been cosseted or petted by Draco and they were all spellbound. Finally, Draco stood in front of Harry, swaying and pouting cherry red lips and almost whispering “…spend a little time with me…” Draco’s hand slid along Harry’s collar and Harry grinned and pulled him close, slipping his hands down to Draco’s bum as he did so.

There was cheering all around them and Draco winked at Harry before sliding his arms up around Harry’s neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Harry groaned before he realised he’d made a noise; but this was the first time they’d kissed properly and the sensation of Draco’s lips on his own was too wonderful to not be acknowledged.

Over the rush of arousal in his ears, Harry could hear the murmurs of some of the blokes he knew, some surprised gasps and then it went deathly quiet as Draco’s hips ground against Harry’s and Harry groaned and reciprocated.

“You gunna root her, Harry?” Harry thought that might have been Stringy, but he was too caught up in the way Draco was moulded to his body to care.

“Yeah, gunna throw a leg over and get some action?”

“Better hope your better half doesn’t find out you’ve been jumping the fence and rooting a bird.” Now that one was Jonesy, and Harry pulled back and looked into Draco’s eyes, understanding suddenly dawning on them both at the same time.

“So that’s what root means,” Harry exclaimed.

Draco laughed and ripped off his wig as he subtly removed the charms at the same time so it was more obvious who he was. The crowd howled with surprised laughter as Draco leered at them all.

He was bombarded with calls of “Wanker” and “Drongo,” but they were all amused and, if Harry understood it correctly, a little impressed by Draco’s guts. Harry knew he was. Jonesy whacked Draco’s shoulder and Draco narrowed his eyes momentarily, before laughing smugly with him.

Harry slipped his arm behind Draco’s legs and picked him up, grinning at the crowd as Draco’s arms returned to around his neck.

“To answer all your questions, yes, I am going to take my blond princess back to our room and do just that.”

The end.

Translations:
- Dunnidoon and Bandurah are made up places. There is a place called Thargomindah near the Queensland/New South Wales border.
- Poms - British people - used as an affectionate nickname.
- Bushies - Farmers who farm in the outback (bush)
- Yobbo - idiot.
- The servo and the gen - The service station (petrol/gas station) and the general store.
- Pull up a pew and blow the froth off a couple. - Pull up a seat and have a beer/drink.
- drier than a dead dingo’s donger. - a donger is a dick…so if the dingo was dead it would be really dry, right? So dry = thirsty.
- frock up - wear a dress…Draco being already labeled Princess.
- like shags on rocks - stuck out in the middle of nowhere.
- sheep short in the top paddock - a bit slow, or has a screw loose.
- dag hanging off the back of a sheep’s arse. - combined lumps of dirt, fecal matter and wool hanging off the back of a sheep’s bum.
- No need to get shirty with me. - no need to get angry.
- seemed a bit toey - seemed a bit on edge
- Fart arsing around - hanging around doing nothing.
- dropped his guts - farted.
- dunny budgies - flies
- stone the flaming crows - bloody hell.
- pack of galahs - noisy people
- Drongo - an idiot.