HAPPY H/D HOLIDAYS, MELUSINAHP!

[hd_hols]

Author: mk_malfoy
Recipient: melusinahp
Title: A Defeat More Triumphant Than Victory
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, Draco/Astoria
Summary: Whilst Harry is en route to right a wrong, memories of the past five years and, more specifically, the past week assail him and remind him how this tragedy-in-the-making began. If only he had listened to Snape at the

Comments

[emrys_mk]

Mel, I'm so happy you enjoyed the fic; it was a true pleasure writing it for you!

That you liked the way I structured events makes me incredibly happy; the back and forth of events was an aspect of the fic that I didn't make a final decision on until I'd written almost half the story. My original focus was not on Astoria, so when I had the idea to increase her role and give her the job of framing the fic, I was somewhat hesitant. I didn't know if I could pull off taking a fairly unknown canon character and making readers sympathize with her in a way that I needed them to. But after I wrote that first scene with her having a rather significant role, I knew she was the one to build everything around; it had to be Astoria.

The opening letter from Lestrange was my attempt to grab the reader and keep them there. I wanted them be so curious from word one about what would happen in the rest of the story, so I knew I needed something powerful. That letter was more fun to write than it probably should've been. I do have a sadistic side to me, after all, it seems.

I adore Ginny and love writing her. She can hold her own with the best of them, and I can't think of her being anything other than strong. She can have her moments, as we all are prone to from time to time, and I enjoy writing her fiery character, especially when it is in conjunction with Harry.

I rarely write any of the Death Eaters, so this was a wonderful exercise for me in stretching my Death-Eater-Wings as it were; I was able to get into a madman's mind, which, as I have already stated, was great fun. I actually wanted to do a bit more with Lestrange--I wanted to show more of why he felt the way he did, but it just didn't work for the fic.

My absolute favorite part of the fic is the letter from Astoria to Harry. It was one of the final things I wrote. I quite liked the fic as it was, but there was something missing; the reader needed to know how desperately Draco had struggled. To have witnessed his bizarre behaviour throughout the fic wasn't enough; I needed them to know just how desolate Draco felt. So I came up with the letter idea and it really is one of the bits of writing I am most proud of.

continued ...

[emrys_mk]

If that scene was my favorite, the bit that made me almost cringe was when Harry told Draco the bit about 'if all he wanted was a one off, he wasn't interested.' I came very close to deleting that part, because, really? Who would do that? Especially since Harry had already been having thoughts about Draco and the reader knew that he was interested in him, so why would Harry even think about not buggering Draco? But, in the end I left it in because Harry is a little martyr and that is how he rolls. I can see him sacrificing his immediate need and want because he wants it all, even if his possibly unrealistic expectations leave him with nothing. But, in the end, he did give in. There was no way I was going to let him back out!

I wrote everything for you; I tailored each scene to match your kinks, but the part I wanted to get right the most was the one thing I felt a bit blah about: the two scenes where Draco pushes Harry against the wall in the Shrieking Shack. I never did get those two scenes to work exactly how I imagined they should, but it was still great fun to write.

I did worry about the suicide bit. Once I had the idea, I knew it had to be, but I knew that if I included it, then that would automatically exclude half the readers, a fact that I struggled with. But, in the end I had to be true to me as a writer, and to you as my giftee, and now that everything has played out as it has, I am so very happy with my choices. You enjoyed the fic and everyone who has commented has left wonderfully detailed responses. I couldn't be happier about that.

Oh, I almost forgot to include the one thing I have kept reminding myself to mention to you: the final line of the fic! It originally ended with Harry's thought about 'there might not be a next week or a next year, but there would be a tomorrow. I loved that ending--very Gone with the Wind-ish. But then one day as I was sitting at work, I remembered the fic I wrote for the hd_worldcup in 2008 and how you loved my last line about Harry's back still hurting after all this time ... or something like that. I remember you said it connected the past with the present and was a great way to end the fic. So ... I started thinking if there was anything I could do to end this fic in a similar fashion. As I was doing a read-through that night, the idea about Draco never saying Harry's name popped into my mind and I was like ... BINGO! There's my new ending!

Thanks again for your wonderful comments!