(no subject)
Sorry I've been lazy on posting. I honestly wasn't too dedicated to myself when I stopped writing. I have been working out.. not as much.. and eating right.
I QUIT ALLI. Its a great pill, and worked well for me. Its just expensive and I need the motivation to eat clean on my own minus using it a crutch. Also Im going vegan on June 2 with a friend of mine. We usually go out drinking on weds nites so we wanna have a mini party at our bar. I will attempt vegan cupcakes ^_^
also, i've been preoccupied with the disaster that is my relationship with my boyfriend. Everything is a fight. He belittles and criticizes my life, my choices, and my appearance.. Not to mention he has the absoulute worst temper.... so I quit him for about 2 weeks. Then I broke down and called him. We don't really hang out but we agreed to take it slow and try to work it out. We barely talk or see each other so I dont know how we are working anything out.. apart of me... is just hoping someone better comes a long.
we had a good time in Miami, and I raved my face off. he stayed in the hotel. we jsut don't really do stuff together anymore...
and i was having a mini panic attack in the bar last weekend, drunk, thinking about how my boyfriend and me are really pretty much done and was on the verge of tears. I know my lack of emotional control and boyfriend's anger brings me to emotional breakdown and panic attacks so i kenw i had to be alone. sadly i drove people there so i waited alone outside drinking my wine... and i drink for free btw... so when my main fling noticed me he was already leaving, which is good we try to be hands off in public- people talk, and i dont want rumors. and when i told him bye he had his hands out like gimme hug... so i did... and he pulled away so i looked up at him and he kissed me... and it just felt so good... ughhhh talk about mixed feelings at that point....
weight wise I think since im not working out as hard and often, i probably gained a bit. I bet im in the upper 110s. Im on my period but will def weigh in asap after. whatever i weight i want to get to my old lw... which was 108 by the end of may. I still in mymind am gong for a look, but at the same time numbers are comforting. I"m trying to drink 2 liters of water a day, and to *not* break down and go to vegan junk food. I want to focus on eating whole foods.
So, ultimately now that I kinda dumped my bf, only have my side playdates, and maybe one soon to be bf, I have nothing but time to think about me and who i want to be and what i want to do. So I'm gonna try to work out more, post more, etc.
hope you're all ok. sometimes i wonder if im depressed lately! I think im in a rut, and i'm climbing myself out of it!
love&luck
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I QUIT ALLI. Its a great pill, and worked well for me. Its just expensive and I need the motivation to eat clean on my own minus using it a crutch. Also Im going vegan on June 2 with a friend of mine. We usually go out drinking on weds nites so we wanna have a mini party at our bar. I will attempt vegan cupcakes ^_^
also, i've been preoccupied with the disaster that is my relationship with my boyfriend. Everything is a fight. He belittles and criticizes my life, my choices, and my appearance.. Not to mention he has the absoulute worst temper.... so I quit him for about 2 weeks. Then I broke down and called him. We don't really hang out but we agreed to take it slow and try to work it out. We barely talk or see each other so I dont know how we are working anything out.. apart of me... is just hoping someone better comes a long.
we had a good time in Miami, and I raved my face off. he stayed in the hotel. we jsut don't really do stuff together anymore...
and i was having a mini panic attack in the bar last weekend, drunk, thinking about how my boyfriend and me are really pretty much done and was on the verge of tears. I know my lack of emotional control and boyfriend's anger brings me to emotional breakdown and panic attacks so i kenw i had to be alone. sadly i drove people there so i waited alone outside drinking my wine... and i drink for free btw... so when my main fling noticed me he was already leaving, which is good we try to be hands off in public- people talk, and i dont want rumors. and when i told him bye he had his hands out like gimme hug... so i did... and he pulled away so i looked up at him and he kissed me... and it just felt so good... ughhhh talk about mixed feelings at that point....
weight wise I think since im not working out as hard and often, i probably gained a bit. I bet im in the upper 110s. Im on my period but will def weigh in asap after. whatever i weight i want to get to my old lw... which was 108 by the end of may. I still in mymind am gong for a look, but at the same time numbers are comforting. I"m trying to drink 2 liters of water a day, and to *not* break down and go to vegan junk food. I want to focus on eating whole foods.
So, ultimately now that I kinda dumped my bf, only have my side playdates, and maybe one soon to be bf, I have nothing but time to think about me and who i want to be and what i want to do. So I'm gonna try to work out more, post more, etc.
hope you're all ok. sometimes i wonder if im depressed lately! I think im in a rut, and i'm climbing myself out of it!
love&luck
1
2
3
4