sorrow and depression
The age old question of why do bad things happen to good peopple comes to me now?
Today after church and an opera, we stopped at Papa's (my grandpa)For years my dad has been trying to convince papa to put my granna (grandma) into a home for her alzheimers, and he finally decided to do it on Friday. So I walk into his house, and sit down in the chair to watch some tv while my parents talk to him about what to do, and i notice this poster nex to the tv that says:
The man sitting next to you is your husband hubert J. Dyess age 87. You are Willi Jean McCoy Dyess. Age 78 YOu have been married for 58 years. You have 4 children, Rick Jim Mary-Jane and Diana They are all married and have kids Both of your parents John and Mary have been dead for 40 or so years. Same with my parents. We own this house and you have lived here for 33 years. THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOME!
That made me truly realize whats happening, that the once really cool grandma has truly turned into a shell. There is nothing left of her anymore. It also let me notice that this will be one of the last times in that house. The house of my first xmas and of millions of memories. That was the point depression set in and same with that age old Q. Why does god let these things happen? No matter how many times I have it explained to me, I dont/cant believe it. This disease warps people into something there not theres nothing natural about that. Seeing Papa the strongest man just break down crying along w/ my father later just makes me question everything.
I'm lost in the darkness and I need a light. No god can help me from where i'm at, or help me out.
"I long to feel the tender touch
Of someone to light the way,
Someone to lead me out of my world,
And turn the night into day." : Fredrick A. Das
Today after church and an opera, we stopped at Papa's (my grandpa)For years my dad has been trying to convince papa to put my granna (grandma) into a home for her alzheimers, and he finally decided to do it on Friday. So I walk into his house, and sit down in the chair to watch some tv while my parents talk to him about what to do, and i notice this poster nex to the tv that says:
The man sitting next to you is your husband hubert J. Dyess age 87. You are Willi Jean McCoy Dyess. Age 78 YOu have been married for 58 years. You have 4 children, Rick Jim Mary-Jane and Diana They are all married and have kids Both of your parents John and Mary have been dead for 40 or so years. Same with my parents. We own this house and you have lived here for 33 years. THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOME!
That made me truly realize whats happening, that the once really cool grandma has truly turned into a shell. There is nothing left of her anymore. It also let me notice that this will be one of the last times in that house. The house of my first xmas and of millions of memories. That was the point depression set in and same with that age old Q. Why does god let these things happen? No matter how many times I have it explained to me, I dont/cant believe it. This disease warps people into something there not theres nothing natural about that. Seeing Papa the strongest man just break down crying along w/ my father later just makes me question everything.
I'm lost in the darkness and I need a light. No god can help me from where i'm at, or help me out.
"I long to feel the tender touch
Of someone to light the way,
Someone to lead me out of my world,
And turn the night into day." : Fredrick A. Das