(no subject)
this week has flown by. it seems like the closer i get to august 15th, the faster it comes. i cant stop it now. all i can do is hold on tight and try to catch a few things on the way.
monday night was hang out with jenna night. we realized we havent done anything jsut the two of us since she's been back. it was a good time. but we have a whole week of it comign so im excited. she's guna stay with me starting tomorrow. we have a whole day planned out. its really comforting to have her around.
wednesday ryan and i went to the gym. ive officially decided i hate to lift weights. not because i suck at it(which i know i do) but because it's just not fun for me. i would rather be outside playing my sport or practicing so i can work my muscles the way they need to be worked. i just dont like being around all those huge guys giving me weird looks cuz im a girl who cant bench the bar. i just feel weak when i go and it makes me upset. ryan noticed it. but thats him, thats always been him. he always knows when something isnt right, even if its in the slightest twinge of a frown. thats why i feel in love with him. we had a fight that night. im not too sure what will happen next. but i can only sit and wait hoping that someday he will talk to me again. i miss him.
we had our sleepover at camp yesterday. and technically i should still be there right now. it was hot, but a nice breeze kept us comfortable. it was a pretty good day/night. my girls had a great time, and i think that there's finally some perspective for them. the cliques that existed that first week are almost gone and that makes me happy. the girls are opening their minds and hanging out with people they probably wouldnt have if it werent for naticook. we had a great dance. i saw brian dancing with katelyn which was the cutest thing and then when brandon joined them it was even better. just pretty much wandered all night because i didnt feel right being in one place. i felt bad because things were taken wrong but im sure after a night apart we will all cool off. caught up a bit with a good friend. got locked in a bunk. hung out with a new friend, and got to know him better. and best of all got about an hour and 45 mins of sleep. only to wake up, pack up, and come home because my throat is swollen and my ears feel like my eardrums are on fire. i dont mind taking a day off from work, but i need to work out tonite and just dont htink ill be up for it.
so much on my mind lately. too much to put in this entry. im really rethinking alot of my life. and im not happy with it. guess thats for another entry.
i miss dan. i miss spencer too, even if we didnt talk before he left, now that we've started again, i miss him.
monday night was hang out with jenna night. we realized we havent done anything jsut the two of us since she's been back. it was a good time. but we have a whole week of it comign so im excited. she's guna stay with me starting tomorrow. we have a whole day planned out. its really comforting to have her around.
wednesday ryan and i went to the gym. ive officially decided i hate to lift weights. not because i suck at it(which i know i do) but because it's just not fun for me. i would rather be outside playing my sport or practicing so i can work my muscles the way they need to be worked. i just dont like being around all those huge guys giving me weird looks cuz im a girl who cant bench the bar. i just feel weak when i go and it makes me upset. ryan noticed it. but thats him, thats always been him. he always knows when something isnt right, even if its in the slightest twinge of a frown. thats why i feel in love with him. we had a fight that night. im not too sure what will happen next. but i can only sit and wait hoping that someday he will talk to me again. i miss him.
we had our sleepover at camp yesterday. and technically i should still be there right now. it was hot, but a nice breeze kept us comfortable. it was a pretty good day/night. my girls had a great time, and i think that there's finally some perspective for them. the cliques that existed that first week are almost gone and that makes me happy. the girls are opening their minds and hanging out with people they probably wouldnt have if it werent for naticook. we had a great dance. i saw brian dancing with katelyn which was the cutest thing and then when brandon joined them it was even better. just pretty much wandered all night because i didnt feel right being in one place. i felt bad because things were taken wrong but im sure after a night apart we will all cool off. caught up a bit with a good friend. got locked in a bunk. hung out with a new friend, and got to know him better. and best of all got about an hour and 45 mins of sleep. only to wake up, pack up, and come home because my throat is swollen and my ears feel like my eardrums are on fire. i dont mind taking a day off from work, but i need to work out tonite and just dont htink ill be up for it.
so much on my mind lately. too much to put in this entry. im really rethinking alot of my life. and im not happy with it. guess thats for another entry.
i miss dan. i miss spencer too, even if we didnt talk before he left, now that we've started again, i miss him.