One of the greatest days of the year....U of M vs. OSU
A guy in a Michigan bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear an Ohio joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"
It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach will only be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves!
Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground?
All five books in the library were completely destroyed... the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of the books yet!
What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus ?
Ann Arbor : 187 Miles
What does the average OSU student get on his SAT?
Drool
How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the fighting Irish!"
Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"
Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines" and pushed the OSU grad off the mountain.
What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gavemhim a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."
"But, I'm an OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."
Two OSU football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4 - 6 years!"
A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just in time.
A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery, when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"
Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan . As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high,and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!"
The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise.The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."
Why is ice no longer available at OSU football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
What are the three longest years of an OSU football player's life?
His freshman year.
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"
It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach will only be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves!
Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground?
All five books in the library were completely destroyed... the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of the books yet!
What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus ?
Ann Arbor : 187 Miles
What does the average OSU student get on his SAT?
Drool
How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the fighting Irish!"
Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"
Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines" and pushed the OSU grad off the mountain.
What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gavemhim a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."
"But, I'm an OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."
Two OSU football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4 - 6 years!"
A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just in time.
A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery, when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"
Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan . As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high,and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!"
The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise.The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."
Why is ice no longer available at OSU football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
What are the three longest years of an OSU football player's life?
His freshman year.