random venting

Sep 03, 2007 23:06

hmmm.
a lot has happened to me in the past year.
i've let go of someone who was a big part of my life for so long.
i've fallen in love with someone new.
i liked a guy a lot this summer, then lost him because i'm an idiot.
but still, i think i've grown up quite a lot in the 3 months since graduation.
i'm less immature, and i don't care about the unimportant things.
but certain things about me haven't changed.
i still get annoyed when i'm left out of things.
i wish i hung out more with the chicks on my street.
even though when i do, i feel stupid because they're all perfect, with the perfect boyfriends, while i have no boyfriend and am nowhere near perfect, and when i do hang out, i make an ass out of myself so i'm positive they all think i'm this huge slut.
but on to more realizations:
i realized that you can't keep people apart and try to keep them from being friends just because they've left you behind.
you can't please everyone, there's no point in trying.
calling someone else ugly won't make you any prettier.
my worst enemy is myself.
i have the hardest time in relationships now.
that first heartbreak really fucked me over for life with relationships.
i never let anyone get too close, so i push away the guys who actually are crazy enough to like me.
i fell off my workout wagon ; i need to get back on it.
laying out in the sun for 12 hours straight isn't the smartest thing to do.
when something annoys me, i shouldn't keep it to myself.
i shouldn't worry about what my friends will think if i tell them that something they're doing is bothering me.
thats what friends are supposed to do, right?
i have to start doing things for ME and not for other people.

i also realized some very good things this year:

my best friend is the best best friend in the world.
that guy that i fell for.. he actually likes me back.
[his actions definitely show it! :] ]
i could be decently pretty if i was thinner ; i have a nice face, i think.
letting go of "friends" from high school that were NEVER really friends is a GOOD thing.
i don't need the people i don't want in my life.
college is actually pretty drama-free, no more high school bullshit.
i noticed that when i started to become more comfortable with myself, i got more male attention, which made me feel even better about me.
not that i need a guy to feel good about me, but when you're getting asked for your phone number all the time, it's going to make you smile.
i'm a die-hard sports fan.
most girls don't like me for it, but guys love it about me.
[the girls don't matter, the ones who hate it are just jealous because they can't hold a sports-related conversation]
crying isn't a bad thing, it doesn't mean you're weak.
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