I'm Fucking Crazy
All right, it is Tuesday and I am back in the magical state of CA. So I left Saturday after work and didn't get to Tucson until midnight. I picked Diana up at her house and hit the Tucson social scene with Danny and Jesse. I was tired and cranky from driving for so long so if I was whiny or blah.......I don't care! I had to drive for 8 hours. So we went to Brek's house for a quaint get together and I saw all my favorite Tucson hipsters like Mike, Carly (is there an "e" in your name? we may never know), Cameron, Erin, and some other people I don't remember. If I excluded from this list.......fucking get over it! I was just in a car for 8 hours! We went to a grill that I thin was called The Grill but it took 15 min for them to take our order and then we waited like 30 min but food never came. So we decided to leave because that's fucking ridiculous. The water was good though. I don't quite remember what we did after sidewalk and Brek's but I do know this. There were to drunk homeless people serenading each other on the corner and it was cute. Even though they smelled really bad and were drinking a lot. Also I think some guy was trying to pick up Danny for a little Saturday night fun. Danny why didn't you get in the car? If he was going to buy you breakfast in the morning it would have been totally worth it!
On Sunday Danny and I went out to breakfast and then to look for some hot shoes for me. We found some at Ross but they were way small on me. They hurt so bad but like I always say.....pain is beauty.....unless someone stabs you in the chest. That's not so hot. When we got to the car he would not allow me to wear the hot patent leather pumps because they were so evil. I got my way in the end though because we spent two hours looking for shoes and could not find anything. When we were at TJ Maxx though we ran into his aunt whilst I was glancing through the women's shoes. I love having a role in Danny slowly but surely getting outed to his family.
Ben did our makeup but it took us forever to get there and then he did quite a job on our faces. We both looked fucking hot but we didn't think he would use so much detail. He spent an hour on us both and we were extremely late for Catherine's shin dig. Enter Tina Turner, Paris Hilton, and a woman known by one syllable.....Cher. We walked in and everyone just stared at us (probably because we were all so glamorous). I had a good time and a lot of cheese sauce but in the end it was all worth it......somehow.
Monday I slept in and did some reading for class. I went to get my oil changed and ended up spending $250 on my damn car but it was running so much better after it was all over. The CD player even works better but when the Transmission fluid looks like a thick black tar things tend to not work so well. After Jiffy Lube I picked Danny up at school and we went to Dinner/Lunch/Food and it was wonderful. I was acting really spacey because I had quite a lot on my mind concerning who I was dining with so I probably seemed like I was stoned. SORRY! Next time I'll hold better conversations. We went to get his car from the Collision Center and then went back to Diana's. That bitch was still asleep! Ugh. So what else......we hung out there, watched Robin Williams, poked Diana in the NO NOs several times, and Anthony's ex bf made an appearance but for the life of me I can't remember his name. Does it really matter? I mean he matters but not as a character in this journal entry. Maybe next time I come to Tucson he will have a big role in the adventures of me.
We went out for coffee around 8 and I got $5 worth of shots of espresso. Eww, it made me really sick but I made it back alive so I'm not complaining. We left and said goodbye to Diana and Danny and I walked back to our cars. We said goodbye and I tried to say something like "I'm sorry things got awkward for awhile, I'm stupid, I hope we're better now." And he gave a "yeah whatever" type of response. Wow that makes him sound like a bitch. No but he said that we were good and we kind of left on that note. After I tried to lick sap off a tree branch. Guess you had to be there.
I started my car up and followed him out to Speedway and I was in the right lane. I needed to change lanes to get on the freeway but I decided that I had to not be a pussy and tell him what I was thinking to his face. So I followed him onto whatever street that was and he called and asked why I didn't get on the freeway and I told him I had something to give him. I'm so bad at lying on the fly when I'm under pressure. I parked and scrounged around my car for anything I could hand him and say, "here you go......happy kwanza.....oh by the way I have more to tell you." I ended up grabbing my Tina pump and that was my in.
So I can't remember what I said but I rambled on quite a bit about how I don't have a lot of chances to see him in person but I had to take this opportunity to tell him how I felt face to face. And I did. And thank god Danny gave me some closure on it. I was sick of us thinking the other had ulterior motives and all this bull shit that only happens when you're gay. We really are better now and I'm glad I'm a crazy bitch and decided to follow him so that I would be thinking about that all the way home....Only half of the way.
And onto my drive...this entry is fucking long! I got pulled over because I was going ten over. The cop followed me from Tucson to Casa Grande and I didn't realize it was a cop until I changed lanes. I was all puffy looking and I think he saw that I was upset. I told him that I had just had a fight with a friend or something and that I was driving back home so he only gave me a warning. I did get breathalyzer and had to do the alphabet backwards and such because he thought I was on something. I drove through to Blythe pretty much in silence as my John Mayer CD repeated itself. I took a nap in Blythe (for 15 min) and then got back on the road. I put in some Fleetwood Mac and the only song on the CD that would play was Silver Springs. I had never really listened to the song but this time I paid attn to the lyrics and I get all emotional. Mostly because I was really fucking tired and on caffeine like no other but it got a little ridiculous.
I know in my mind that the whole notion that Danny and I would date is crazy and I've said that before. His more like a brother and I think that would be really weird. Not to mention he lives way far away from me but what can I say. I'm fucking crazy and I'm not going to apologize for being such. After thinking it all over though I'm better now. I'm ready to move on with life and I think he and I are better and I have really itchy arm pits from my stubble. That is all, I hope you enjoyed. I'm off to work to peddle luggage for a needy world.
On Sunday Danny and I went out to breakfast and then to look for some hot shoes for me. We found some at Ross but they were way small on me. They hurt so bad but like I always say.....pain is beauty.....unless someone stabs you in the chest. That's not so hot. When we got to the car he would not allow me to wear the hot patent leather pumps because they were so evil. I got my way in the end though because we spent two hours looking for shoes and could not find anything. When we were at TJ Maxx though we ran into his aunt whilst I was glancing through the women's shoes. I love having a role in Danny slowly but surely getting outed to his family.
Ben did our makeup but it took us forever to get there and then he did quite a job on our faces. We both looked fucking hot but we didn't think he would use so much detail. He spent an hour on us both and we were extremely late for Catherine's shin dig. Enter Tina Turner, Paris Hilton, and a woman known by one syllable.....Cher. We walked in and everyone just stared at us (probably because we were all so glamorous). I had a good time and a lot of cheese sauce but in the end it was all worth it......somehow.
Monday I slept in and did some reading for class. I went to get my oil changed and ended up spending $250 on my damn car but it was running so much better after it was all over. The CD player even works better but when the Transmission fluid looks like a thick black tar things tend to not work so well. After Jiffy Lube I picked Danny up at school and we went to Dinner/Lunch/Food and it was wonderful. I was acting really spacey because I had quite a lot on my mind concerning who I was dining with so I probably seemed like I was stoned. SORRY! Next time I'll hold better conversations. We went to get his car from the Collision Center and then went back to Diana's. That bitch was still asleep! Ugh. So what else......we hung out there, watched Robin Williams, poked Diana in the NO NOs several times, and Anthony's ex bf made an appearance but for the life of me I can't remember his name. Does it really matter? I mean he matters but not as a character in this journal entry. Maybe next time I come to Tucson he will have a big role in the adventures of me.
We went out for coffee around 8 and I got $5 worth of shots of espresso. Eww, it made me really sick but I made it back alive so I'm not complaining. We left and said goodbye to Diana and Danny and I walked back to our cars. We said goodbye and I tried to say something like "I'm sorry things got awkward for awhile, I'm stupid, I hope we're better now." And he gave a "yeah whatever" type of response. Wow that makes him sound like a bitch. No but he said that we were good and we kind of left on that note. After I tried to lick sap off a tree branch. Guess you had to be there.
I started my car up and followed him out to Speedway and I was in the right lane. I needed to change lanes to get on the freeway but I decided that I had to not be a pussy and tell him what I was thinking to his face. So I followed him onto whatever street that was and he called and asked why I didn't get on the freeway and I told him I had something to give him. I'm so bad at lying on the fly when I'm under pressure. I parked and scrounged around my car for anything I could hand him and say, "here you go......happy kwanza.....oh by the way I have more to tell you." I ended up grabbing my Tina pump and that was my in.
So I can't remember what I said but I rambled on quite a bit about how I don't have a lot of chances to see him in person but I had to take this opportunity to tell him how I felt face to face. And I did. And thank god Danny gave me some closure on it. I was sick of us thinking the other had ulterior motives and all this bull shit that only happens when you're gay. We really are better now and I'm glad I'm a crazy bitch and decided to follow him so that I would be thinking about that all the way home....Only half of the way.
And onto my drive...this entry is fucking long! I got pulled over because I was going ten over. The cop followed me from Tucson to Casa Grande and I didn't realize it was a cop until I changed lanes. I was all puffy looking and I think he saw that I was upset. I told him that I had just had a fight with a friend or something and that I was driving back home so he only gave me a warning. I did get breathalyzer and had to do the alphabet backwards and such because he thought I was on something. I drove through to Blythe pretty much in silence as my John Mayer CD repeated itself. I took a nap in Blythe (for 15 min) and then got back on the road. I put in some Fleetwood Mac and the only song on the CD that would play was Silver Springs. I had never really listened to the song but this time I paid attn to the lyrics and I get all emotional. Mostly because I was really fucking tired and on caffeine like no other but it got a little ridiculous.
I know in my mind that the whole notion that Danny and I would date is crazy and I've said that before. His more like a brother and I think that would be really weird. Not to mention he lives way far away from me but what can I say. I'm fucking crazy and I'm not going to apologize for being such. After thinking it all over though I'm better now. I'm ready to move on with life and I think he and I are better and I have really itchy arm pits from my stubble. That is all, I hope you enjoyed. I'm off to work to peddle luggage for a needy world.