Confuzzled?!?!
I'm so fucking confused right now. Part of it may be because I've been sick with a kidney infection and infections on the nerves in my legs, and I was off my lithium for 2 1/2 weeks as a result. I am so unbelievably horny, I'm getting myself off 4 times a day min, and it's starting to interfere with things considering I hardly ever see Alex these days. I feel horrible to say it, but I'm starting to get attatched to a few other people, and I can't separate whether it's hormones, loneliness, more than that, or a bit of everything...argh! Plus, does anyone find it weird that I really want to bring Shakespeare back to life and fuck his brains out? Perhaps following a bath; after all, we are talking about a 16th century man here.
I'm trying to get a job (not very earnestly at the moment, I must admit), but my mother is pressuring me over the top in her attempts to be "supportive". It's driving me nuts because I need the money, and I'd really like her to stop being annoyed with me. Someone should pay people for job hunting, as it's a hell of a lot more work than any minimum wage job out there.
I'm starting a group for people with social anxiety at the end of August/beginning of September. It's going to be two hours every week for twelve weeks, and they told me to expect mega homework. Oiy! Kind of ironic, don't you think? A GROUP for...you get the point. I was also given a perscription today to try out. It's gabapentin, which I'm supposed to take an hour before I do something like go to a party, go for an interview, or take a test to reduce anxiety and OCD compulsions. I've been thinking, "Oh god, more meds," but considering I've been self-medicating my anxiety with cocaine and meth of-late, I guess it's a step above. My hope is that by the time I'm finished the group in December, the pills will no longer be such a necessity.
I'm pretty much tired of having what I think to be other people's expectations rule my life. I feel I've come so far in a year and three months (since the EMP), but that I'll always be a work-in-progress.
I'm trying to get a job (not very earnestly at the moment, I must admit), but my mother is pressuring me over the top in her attempts to be "supportive". It's driving me nuts because I need the money, and I'd really like her to stop being annoyed with me. Someone should pay people for job hunting, as it's a hell of a lot more work than any minimum wage job out there.
I'm starting a group for people with social anxiety at the end of August/beginning of September. It's going to be two hours every week for twelve weeks, and they told me to expect mega homework. Oiy! Kind of ironic, don't you think? A GROUP for...you get the point. I was also given a perscription today to try out. It's gabapentin, which I'm supposed to take an hour before I do something like go to a party, go for an interview, or take a test to reduce anxiety and OCD compulsions. I've been thinking, "Oh god, more meds," but considering I've been self-medicating my anxiety with cocaine and meth of-late, I guess it's a step above. My hope is that by the time I'm finished the group in December, the pills will no longer be such a necessity.
I'm pretty much tired of having what I think to be other people's expectations rule my life. I feel I've come so far in a year and three months (since the EMP), but that I'll always be a work-in-progress.