I'll never be...
life has just sucked all of yesterday and today. I can never be good enough for anyone, especially my parents. I get a lead role in a show, and what do I ever get? That's nice. I get an A. That's nice. I get elected onto the ASB. That's nice. it seems like the people that are supposed to be giving me the most support aren't doing anything. For my mom, my dad, my stepmom, my stepdad
I can never be
pretty enough
smart enough
tough enough
talented enough
outgoing enough
quiet enough
witty enough
hard working enough
sensitive enough
helpful enough
honest enough
...good enough...
And so today at school I was kinda down, I mean I still made everyone laugh, but what's the big deal? So I brighten people's days. Sometime's I'd like the favor given back. It does make me feel good to make people laugh, to make them feel good.
And another question, if I'm as popular, pretty, funny, witty,nice and have as many friends as everyone says I am, why do I feel like there's this void inside me. Inside I'm so cold and lonely and so utterly along? and why have I never had a relationship?
I wish I could be what people percieve me as, but you can't control a person's interior. Allison is probably leaving next year, and she's one of my rocks.
people say its good that I blend into lots of different social groups, that I have lots of friends. But I never really feel really at home with any one of them.
I love courtney, she's just been so supportive. She wrote something really nice for me (er well she Imed it to me) and I had it open, then mike like switched users so its gone :(
I wish I could write something wonderful about my day, some funny things truly did happen. But my eyes are in such a dark wet pain that I can't.
I can never be
pretty enough
smart enough
tough enough
talented enough
outgoing enough
quiet enough
witty enough
hard working enough
sensitive enough
helpful enough
honest enough
...good enough...
And so today at school I was kinda down, I mean I still made everyone laugh, but what's the big deal? So I brighten people's days. Sometime's I'd like the favor given back. It does make me feel good to make people laugh, to make them feel good.
And another question, if I'm as popular, pretty, funny, witty,nice and have as many friends as everyone says I am, why do I feel like there's this void inside me. Inside I'm so cold and lonely and so utterly along? and why have I never had a relationship?
I wish I could be what people percieve me as, but you can't control a person's interior. Allison is probably leaving next year, and she's one of my rocks.
people say its good that I blend into lots of different social groups, that I have lots of friends. But I never really feel really at home with any one of them.
I love courtney, she's just been so supportive. She wrote something really nice for me (er well she Imed it to me) and I had it open, then mike like switched users so its gone :(
I wish I could write something wonderful about my day, some funny things truly did happen. But my eyes are in such a dark wet pain that I can't.