(no subject)
Alrighty, so I haven't been online much as of late, the reason being that my laptop has reached its breaking point. It's been having problems for months, but this past week was the final nail. Let me describe it in a more...oh say...theatrical way.
Scene: My bedroom, early in the morning on a Friday, near when I was about to turn in for bed. My laptop, plugged into a nearby outlet, rests at the foot of my bed, opened and turned on, as it often is during the day.
Me: "Ah, what a day. I think I shall take a shower to cleanse myself before I turn in. But before I venture to the land of dreams, perhaps I'll partake in activities over the Internet, which I can do so easily through my fully functional laptop."
10 minutes (or however long it took me to shower that particular evening) later.
Me: "My, my. I feel incredibly refreshed. Such a splendid feeling. Perhaps my friends will be online feeling just as dandy. Let me check!"
My laptop has Firefox open to, I believe, a page on Greek mythology, and a someone's journal entry. I sit down on my bed, and move the touchpad, only to find the cursor is motionless.
Me: "A frozen screen?! Hmmm....ha ha ha ha ha. Such a typical computer error. Since their inception, users everywhere are plagued with the occasional frozen screen, why should I be shocked. Oh you silly laptop, trying to give me a fright!"
I perform the three fingered salute (ctrl, alt, del) in order to bring up the task manager, in order to exit Firefox. Shockingly, there is no response.
Me: "What's this?! Not responding to my commands, eh dear laptop? It must be especially frozen this time. Oh well, nothing that can't be fixed by putting you to sleep for a few seconds!"
I hit the function key, along with F4, which places the laptop in hibrination mode. Normally, the solution to more annoying problems on this particular laptop. However, as I'm about to learn, this is no normal problem. It once again does not respond to my command.
Me: "This....this cannot be!! ....You sneaky devil, I'll show you that no one pulls the wool over the eyes of Andrew John (Francis) Sanchez!!"
Forcably, I shut down the computer, the slap in the face for misbehaved technologies. For some devices, it involes pulling the plug, for others, it involves the act of throwing the device outside the window in order to get rid of that annoying buzz that dares to wake me from my slumber. But for a laptop, it's as simple and pushing down and holding a button, almost like stabbing at the computer's heart, holding the knife in and....well, let's not get too graphic. The screen turns off after several seconds go by.
Me: "Ha ha ha ha. How I laugh at this temporary problem that is now in the past. You gave me quite a fright, you electronic trickster. But in the end, I knew your little game was one easily beaten. Well, enough talk, I shall revive you now."
I press the power button, awaiting the loading screens I know all too well. But alas, after a short while, I realize nothing is coming, and that my celebrations were premature.
Me: "What....what's going on!? Are you mocking my declarations of victory with this screen of nothingness? Cease this at once and function normally!!"
I once again shut the laptop down, powering it up to find the same result. After several more attempts, I grow tired.
Me: "Grrrr, you digital fiend!! If I wasn't about to turn in for bed....::yawn:: I'll settle this tomorrow. Perhaps you need a few hours to get your act together!"
I go to bed, and sleep relatively soundly (aside from a few wake ups), and the moment I awaken, I approach my laptop in a groggy state.
Me: "::yawn and stretch:: Ok you....::yawn:: little bastard. Let's see if you're cooperating this morning."
I press the button, and to my delight, the loading screens appear. This makes me less groggy and more triumphant in nature.
Me: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! My theory was correct I see! Simply in need of a little R&R. I say, that was quite the episode. But we can put that all behind us. Let us see what cyberspace has in store for today, hmmm?"
Everything appears to be running smoothly....for about two minutes. Soon, the screen freezes up yet again, this time accompanied by fizzles and flickers.
Me: "No....no no no no!! This is....I'm hallucinating! I knew I should've slept longer!" ::taps the machine:: "Come on, come on!! Don't pull this with me!! Live damn it, live!!" ::three fingered salute:: "Answer me!!!" ::hibrination prompt:: This is insanity!! Technology....playing...playing cruel tricks!!"
All my attepmts prove futile...and the machine soon locks up again, refusing to turn on.
And so the following days proved to be a test of patience and trust with the infernal machine. A few times, I was lucky...managing to get it functional for a few hours before it came to the same end. Others, it wouldn't even turn on at all. Not knowing the problem made me a bit paranoid, to the point where I wouldn't dare move the laptop from its current position, in fear of invoking the system failure. At one point, I was convinced, that despite my knowledge in the workings of computers, I could correct the error. I unscrewed the machine, with more screws than I have ever unscrewed in one single piece of machinery before. I tinkered with the innards, but all for naught.
Me: (lying down in bed, staring at the ceiling) "Hear me dear friends....and head my words. For now you may be living in the comfort that the computer you are currently accessing is your electronic counterpart....but be warned. For in an instant, all can be lost. All you have stored, all the information you have access to....frozen...flickering....fading away to a dark screen. Treasure it now my friends! It may not be long before yours too turns to evil."
End
Ok, so I went overboard. And for the record, I don't talk to, nor treat my laptop, like it is a human being. And that's my rant for tonight. Perhaps pleasentries await in my next entry!! Huzzah! And adieu for now my friends!
Scene: My bedroom, early in the morning on a Friday, near when I was about to turn in for bed. My laptop, plugged into a nearby outlet, rests at the foot of my bed, opened and turned on, as it often is during the day.
Me: "Ah, what a day. I think I shall take a shower to cleanse myself before I turn in. But before I venture to the land of dreams, perhaps I'll partake in activities over the Internet, which I can do so easily through my fully functional laptop."
10 minutes (or however long it took me to shower that particular evening) later.
Me: "My, my. I feel incredibly refreshed. Such a splendid feeling. Perhaps my friends will be online feeling just as dandy. Let me check!"
My laptop has Firefox open to, I believe, a page on Greek mythology, and a someone's journal entry. I sit down on my bed, and move the touchpad, only to find the cursor is motionless.
Me: "A frozen screen?! Hmmm....ha ha ha ha ha. Such a typical computer error. Since their inception, users everywhere are plagued with the occasional frozen screen, why should I be shocked. Oh you silly laptop, trying to give me a fright!"
I perform the three fingered salute (ctrl, alt, del) in order to bring up the task manager, in order to exit Firefox. Shockingly, there is no response.
Me: "What's this?! Not responding to my commands, eh dear laptop? It must be especially frozen this time. Oh well, nothing that can't be fixed by putting you to sleep for a few seconds!"
I hit the function key, along with F4, which places the laptop in hibrination mode. Normally, the solution to more annoying problems on this particular laptop. However, as I'm about to learn, this is no normal problem. It once again does not respond to my command.
Me: "This....this cannot be!! ....You sneaky devil, I'll show you that no one pulls the wool over the eyes of Andrew John (Francis) Sanchez!!"
Forcably, I shut down the computer, the slap in the face for misbehaved technologies. For some devices, it involes pulling the plug, for others, it involves the act of throwing the device outside the window in order to get rid of that annoying buzz that dares to wake me from my slumber. But for a laptop, it's as simple and pushing down and holding a button, almost like stabbing at the computer's heart, holding the knife in and....well, let's not get too graphic. The screen turns off after several seconds go by.
Me: "Ha ha ha ha. How I laugh at this temporary problem that is now in the past. You gave me quite a fright, you electronic trickster. But in the end, I knew your little game was one easily beaten. Well, enough talk, I shall revive you now."
I press the power button, awaiting the loading screens I know all too well. But alas, after a short while, I realize nothing is coming, and that my celebrations were premature.
Me: "What....what's going on!? Are you mocking my declarations of victory with this screen of nothingness? Cease this at once and function normally!!"
I once again shut the laptop down, powering it up to find the same result. After several more attempts, I grow tired.
Me: "Grrrr, you digital fiend!! If I wasn't about to turn in for bed....::yawn:: I'll settle this tomorrow. Perhaps you need a few hours to get your act together!"
I go to bed, and sleep relatively soundly (aside from a few wake ups), and the moment I awaken, I approach my laptop in a groggy state.
Me: "::yawn and stretch:: Ok you....::yawn:: little bastard. Let's see if you're cooperating this morning."
I press the button, and to my delight, the loading screens appear. This makes me less groggy and more triumphant in nature.
Me: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! My theory was correct I see! Simply in need of a little R&R. I say, that was quite the episode. But we can put that all behind us. Let us see what cyberspace has in store for today, hmmm?"
Everything appears to be running smoothly....for about two minutes. Soon, the screen freezes up yet again, this time accompanied by fizzles and flickers.
Me: "No....no no no no!! This is....I'm hallucinating! I knew I should've slept longer!" ::taps the machine:: "Come on, come on!! Don't pull this with me!! Live damn it, live!!" ::three fingered salute:: "Answer me!!!" ::hibrination prompt:: This is insanity!! Technology....playing...playing cruel tricks!!"
All my attepmts prove futile...and the machine soon locks up again, refusing to turn on.
And so the following days proved to be a test of patience and trust with the infernal machine. A few times, I was lucky...managing to get it functional for a few hours before it came to the same end. Others, it wouldn't even turn on at all. Not knowing the problem made me a bit paranoid, to the point where I wouldn't dare move the laptop from its current position, in fear of invoking the system failure. At one point, I was convinced, that despite my knowledge in the workings of computers, I could correct the error. I unscrewed the machine, with more screws than I have ever unscrewed in one single piece of machinery before. I tinkered with the innards, but all for naught.
Me: (lying down in bed, staring at the ceiling) "Hear me dear friends....and head my words. For now you may be living in the comfort that the computer you are currently accessing is your electronic counterpart....but be warned. For in an instant, all can be lost. All you have stored, all the information you have access to....frozen...flickering....fading away to a dark screen. Treasure it now my friends! It may not be long before yours too turns to evil."
End
Ok, so I went overboard. And for the record, I don't talk to, nor treat my laptop, like it is a human being. And that's my rant for tonight. Perhaps pleasentries await in my next entry!! Huzzah! And adieu for now my friends!