[FF7] Saturday Mornings
I want to title this 'Why El cannot write smut'. Because Rufus will inevitably inevitably degenerate into snark instead. I wasn't sure whether to post this, but hell, there was no fic last week, so I might as well. It's not good, but it might be fun.
[FF7] Saturday Mornings
Rating: R - Status: Complete - Warnings: Implied gunplay, toys
Pairings: Rufus/Turks
Timeline: FF7
Summary: Rufus doesn't particularly like going out drinking with the Turks.
Inspired by snipervalentine's Reno/Rude/Tseng/Rufus fic, entitled "Right...", which is toe-curling-good in the NC-17 way and definitely better than this fic! :D
Rufus doesn't particularly like going drinking with the Turks. It's not because the Turks are bad company or bad at holding their alcohol. Quite the opposite really.
It's all very well and good during the first three drinks. They complain about Heidegger, insult the executives, exchange more office gossip than the secretaries. It's all very informative, and Rufus sometimes takes notes - it's always useful to know who is shagging who in the Company. Blackmail is such a lovely weapon.
They get down to the lewd jokes and bragging and insults by the fourth drink, when the gossip is running dry. This is the point at which Rufus pays very close attention, because they inevitably start talking about their latest missions. This is where Rufus fills in all the blanks in their mission reports, where he finds out just who destroyed the vending machine this week (surprise, surprise, it isn't Reno this time; who knew that Elena had such a temper?) and how much unreported carnage was caused.
By the sixth drink, Rufus is the only one who isn't drunk, thanks to certain antidote potions cooked up for him by the science department. This isn't going to last, though, because this is the point at which they start playing games, having run out of talk, and it's either poker (losers drink the number of shots they bet), or truth and dare.
Truth and the dare is the reason why the Turks make sure they book the whole bar. The whole bar. And that the bartender knows just who his guests are and what the consequences of telling the public that Rufus Shinra kissed him one night are.
So between the sixth drink and the point at which he can't count the drinks any more, Rufus needs to make sure that he finishes up his notes, sends them to his computer where they are safe, and then attaches the PDA to himself so it won't get lost. Because it will. And it's not so much the PDA that's the problem as the stylus, because the last time, it took the doctor two hours to get it out of Tseng.
But no, it's not the drinking that Rufus has a problem with.
Or even the way they stumble back to his apartment, and usually don't make it past the dining room before Reno is coiled around Tseng, whose lips are locked on Elena's, whose hands are wrapped around Rude, whose fingers are fumbling at Rufus' buttons. Rufus has lost a lot of suits that way. He's learnt better than to wear his good clothes on nights like these.
They tried EMRs, once, only to find out that a bunch of drunk Turks and dangerous weapons do not mix. Rude couldn't walk for a week. Elena switched to strap ons after that. But sometimes, she can't find the strap ons, and Rufus has to clean his gun very thoroughly the next morning.
No, it's not the fact that his shotgun feels disturbingly good when its slick and cold with lubricant and Tseng's spit. It's not the fact that he had to strip his carpet from the dining room. It's definitely not the fact that Reno has the most amazing fingers, but two of Rude's are enough to wrench a moan from him, or the fact that Tseng knows amazing things to do with belts, or forgets to untie him after that.
It's the morning. The morning starts at about 5am when Tseng throws up. Because Tseng always throws up. It's something to do with his Wutainese heritage, and a lack of alcohol dehydrogenase, but Rufus doesn't give a shit about biological excuses when Tseng can't make it to the bathroom in time. And Reno groans at some point, and Rufus swears at the headache, and curses at the fact that Rude's lying over his legs, and he's stuck on the very cold, very hard floor of his apartment.
It's the morning proper when light is streaming through the windows, and Rufus has gotten very good at shoving the pile of Turks off. It's amazing what one can do when faced with a full bladder. It's the morning proper when he's aching all over, covered in grime, cursing and vowing never to do that again as he turns to hobble towards the bathroom.
But then Tseng's on his feet, wrapping arms around him and nuzzling his chilled back, and tugs him back to where Reno breaks off from giving Rude a backrub to pull him close and proceed to kiss him until he can't remember what he was complaining about.
And the next friday, they do it all over again.
[FF7] Saturday Mornings
Rating: R - Status: Complete - Warnings: Implied gunplay, toys
Pairings: Rufus/Turks
Timeline: FF7
Summary: Rufus doesn't particularly like going out drinking with the Turks.
Inspired by snipervalentine's Reno/Rude/Tseng/Rufus fic, entitled "Right...", which is toe-curling-good in the NC-17 way and definitely better than this fic! :D
Rufus doesn't particularly like going drinking with the Turks. It's not because the Turks are bad company or bad at holding their alcohol. Quite the opposite really.
It's all very well and good during the first three drinks. They complain about Heidegger, insult the executives, exchange more office gossip than the secretaries. It's all very informative, and Rufus sometimes takes notes - it's always useful to know who is shagging who in the Company. Blackmail is such a lovely weapon.
They get down to the lewd jokes and bragging and insults by the fourth drink, when the gossip is running dry. This is the point at which Rufus pays very close attention, because they inevitably start talking about their latest missions. This is where Rufus fills in all the blanks in their mission reports, where he finds out just who destroyed the vending machine this week (surprise, surprise, it isn't Reno this time; who knew that Elena had such a temper?) and how much unreported carnage was caused.
By the sixth drink, Rufus is the only one who isn't drunk, thanks to certain antidote potions cooked up for him by the science department. This isn't going to last, though, because this is the point at which they start playing games, having run out of talk, and it's either poker (losers drink the number of shots they bet), or truth and dare.
Truth and the dare is the reason why the Turks make sure they book the whole bar. The whole bar. And that the bartender knows just who his guests are and what the consequences of telling the public that Rufus Shinra kissed him one night are.
So between the sixth drink and the point at which he can't count the drinks any more, Rufus needs to make sure that he finishes up his notes, sends them to his computer where they are safe, and then attaches the PDA to himself so it won't get lost. Because it will. And it's not so much the PDA that's the problem as the stylus, because the last time, it took the doctor two hours to get it out of Tseng.
But no, it's not the drinking that Rufus has a problem with.
Or even the way they stumble back to his apartment, and usually don't make it past the dining room before Reno is coiled around Tseng, whose lips are locked on Elena's, whose hands are wrapped around Rude, whose fingers are fumbling at Rufus' buttons. Rufus has lost a lot of suits that way. He's learnt better than to wear his good clothes on nights like these.
They tried EMRs, once, only to find out that a bunch of drunk Turks and dangerous weapons do not mix. Rude couldn't walk for a week. Elena switched to strap ons after that. But sometimes, she can't find the strap ons, and Rufus has to clean his gun very thoroughly the next morning.
No, it's not the fact that his shotgun feels disturbingly good when its slick and cold with lubricant and Tseng's spit. It's not the fact that he had to strip his carpet from the dining room. It's definitely not the fact that Reno has the most amazing fingers, but two of Rude's are enough to wrench a moan from him, or the fact that Tseng knows amazing things to do with belts, or forgets to untie him after that.
It's the morning. The morning starts at about 5am when Tseng throws up. Because Tseng always throws up. It's something to do with his Wutainese heritage, and a lack of alcohol dehydrogenase, but Rufus doesn't give a shit about biological excuses when Tseng can't make it to the bathroom in time. And Reno groans at some point, and Rufus swears at the headache, and curses at the fact that Rude's lying over his legs, and he's stuck on the very cold, very hard floor of his apartment.
It's the morning proper when light is streaming through the windows, and Rufus has gotten very good at shoving the pile of Turks off. It's amazing what one can do when faced with a full bladder. It's the morning proper when he's aching all over, covered in grime, cursing and vowing never to do that again as he turns to hobble towards the bathroom.
But then Tseng's on his feet, wrapping arms around him and nuzzling his chilled back, and tugs him back to where Reno breaks off from giving Rude a backrub to pull him close and proceed to kiss him until he can't remember what he was complaining about.
And the next friday, they do it all over again.