::WARNING:: VENT VENT ::WARNING::
All I want is for everyone to stop attacking me on everything I do, say, don't do, don't say, etc. I can't even take two steps anywhere without someone freaking out on me. Do I have a fucking sign on my head that says "ooooo hit her now hit her nooowww?" I'm mean honestly. And please, if you do want to bitch, have a logical reason. Not some petty ass bullshit that you're too fucking childish to man up to. We're adults people, start living like one.
And another thing, don't think that you can attack my morals and how I choose to live my life. There's a key word there...MY LIFE! If I make wrong decisions and fall, then that's something I'll have to live and learn from. Believe me, I've made enough in my 20 years of existence to learn from. I don't need to know how your precious 2 years were ruined just because you had major animosity towards me. And don't expect me to jump on the happiness wagon right away after all this. Oh that's right, like in the line of my favorite movie The Emperor's New Groove, "...ya, she's hard to get close to. There's a wall there." DAMN RIGHT. And that wall will remain there until I can be assured that I'm better and have actually accomplished what I'm out to accomplish. Finding myself. And for those of you that know me, this is a big step because I NEVER think of myself before others. So for those of you who fall from me on this decision, it just proves you were never truly there for me in the first place. And as much as that hurts me to admit, it has to be said.
So, I am moving along at a pretty good pace. I'm smiling more and having fun and actually putting myself out there at times I would usually hide behind. And it's working. Each day is a test of my own strength. I know I don't have that much of it because I am so weak, but I believe it will get stronger everyday. And those who chose to stay with me have helped me out in more ways than I could ever dream of. And I "extend my sincere gratitude" (haha) to them.
::end:: vent vent ::end::
Now I'm off to shower before work. It pains me that my first real journal in a while has to be like this. But hopefully soon one will be filled with nothing but happiness. I'm slowly remember what it felt like.
And another thing, don't think that you can attack my morals and how I choose to live my life. There's a key word there...MY LIFE! If I make wrong decisions and fall, then that's something I'll have to live and learn from. Believe me, I've made enough in my 20 years of existence to learn from. I don't need to know how your precious 2 years were ruined just because you had major animosity towards me. And don't expect me to jump on the happiness wagon right away after all this. Oh that's right, like in the line of my favorite movie The Emperor's New Groove, "...ya, she's hard to get close to. There's a wall there." DAMN RIGHT. And that wall will remain there until I can be assured that I'm better and have actually accomplished what I'm out to accomplish. Finding myself. And for those of you that know me, this is a big step because I NEVER think of myself before others. So for those of you who fall from me on this decision, it just proves you were never truly there for me in the first place. And as much as that hurts me to admit, it has to be said.
So, I am moving along at a pretty good pace. I'm smiling more and having fun and actually putting myself out there at times I would usually hide behind. And it's working. Each day is a test of my own strength. I know I don't have that much of it because I am so weak, but I believe it will get stronger everyday. And those who chose to stay with me have helped me out in more ways than I could ever dream of. And I "extend my sincere gratitude" (haha) to them.
::end:: vent vent ::end::
Now I'm off to shower before work. It pains me that my first real journal in a while has to be like this. But hopefully soon one will be filled with nothing but happiness. I'm slowly remember what it felt like.