(no subject)
The past two days have been chock-full of ridiculous yet important high school drama. Y'see, we had a sex talk with a very good motivational speaker. he was good, no doubt. Half the girls had talks with their boyfriends afterwards and vice versa. Alot of people talked to the speaker privately afterward, including myself. But he's not the point.
The point is, about a week ago I found out that a boy who I'd liked suddenly and crazily back around homecoming of this year but later was able to assimilate it into the "it'll never happen, get over it" file decided he'd start crushing on me. Mainly b/c we were spending most of every day together b/c of a play's hectic Tech Week practice, etc. So of course everything rushes back, I get my hopes up, and flirt shamelessly.
Then my friend, who he's liked for forever, finds out monday that he likes me. She's been giving him the cold shoulder for a while, apparently b/c he never became her boyfriend and didn't give her a valentine's day gift when she got him one, claiming he "didn't realize you were supposed to." crazy boy. but i'd forgotten about it. She hadn't. and now she cares again. my mom says b/c before, she had the control. now he does.
She also likes my other crush, who I have a tiny possibly imagined reason to believe he might like me. if he does, he's the most un-obvious boy I've ever met.
Problem is, I like both of them. I love this shameless flirting thing with boy #1, but I think boy #2 (Mr. UnObvious) would make a better boyfriend in the long run. I also have serious competition issues with this friend, and vice versa, although we have grown extremely close, being in such proximity this year.
I was annoyed, because only a month ago I was so happy that I enjoyed being single right now and wasn't obsessed with wanting a boyfriend. And then I looked at myself now.
So, I've come to a hopefully good conclusion after two days of miserable yet delicious drama. I'm putting things back as much as I can to how they were. I did reveal to boy #1 that I like him and vice versa, and then five minutes later his older senior brother asks me with my junior friend from basketball and our senior buddy Matt. And told them because I was feeling blunt. Boy #1 seems more relaxed and touchy-feely with that load off, all leaning over me today at break. I don't mind.
But I'm going to treat him and boy #2 the way I always have, and let things lie. That way I can flirt with everyone. Keeps me from being tied down and shattering other dreams of boys. Also, let my friend flirt with boy #1 (and #2, I guess), because that will draw boy #1's attention away from me and balance things out so he doesn't ask me out and put me in a confusing fix.
I'm happy with my decision (although I can be fickle, so watch out). So, I have to talk to our mediator friend tomorrow and tell her I'm just going to let things play out a lone and to please not talk about me to my friend or boy #1 or anyone else, etc.
Let's hope I can let all of this jealousy and uncertainty go and just let these boys and myself and my friend be. No secrets and doubletalk.
Amen. Had confirmation practice today and confession. Our pastor is so relaxed and not-so-narrow sometimes lol.
The point is, about a week ago I found out that a boy who I'd liked suddenly and crazily back around homecoming of this year but later was able to assimilate it into the "it'll never happen, get over it" file decided he'd start crushing on me. Mainly b/c we were spending most of every day together b/c of a play's hectic Tech Week practice, etc. So of course everything rushes back, I get my hopes up, and flirt shamelessly.
Then my friend, who he's liked for forever, finds out monday that he likes me. She's been giving him the cold shoulder for a while, apparently b/c he never became her boyfriend and didn't give her a valentine's day gift when she got him one, claiming he "didn't realize you were supposed to." crazy boy. but i'd forgotten about it. She hadn't. and now she cares again. my mom says b/c before, she had the control. now he does.
She also likes my other crush, who I have a tiny possibly imagined reason to believe he might like me. if he does, he's the most un-obvious boy I've ever met.
Problem is, I like both of them. I love this shameless flirting thing with boy #1, but I think boy #2 (Mr. UnObvious) would make a better boyfriend in the long run. I also have serious competition issues with this friend, and vice versa, although we have grown extremely close, being in such proximity this year.
I was annoyed, because only a month ago I was so happy that I enjoyed being single right now and wasn't obsessed with wanting a boyfriend. And then I looked at myself now.
So, I've come to a hopefully good conclusion after two days of miserable yet delicious drama. I'm putting things back as much as I can to how they were. I did reveal to boy #1 that I like him and vice versa, and then five minutes later his older senior brother asks me with my junior friend from basketball and our senior buddy Matt. And told them because I was feeling blunt. Boy #1 seems more relaxed and touchy-feely with that load off, all leaning over me today at break. I don't mind.
But I'm going to treat him and boy #2 the way I always have, and let things lie. That way I can flirt with everyone. Keeps me from being tied down and shattering other dreams of boys. Also, let my friend flirt with boy #1 (and #2, I guess), because that will draw boy #1's attention away from me and balance things out so he doesn't ask me out and put me in a confusing fix.
I'm happy with my decision (although I can be fickle, so watch out). So, I have to talk to our mediator friend tomorrow and tell her I'm just going to let things play out a lone and to please not talk about me to my friend or boy #1 or anyone else, etc.
Let's hope I can let all of this jealousy and uncertainty go and just let these boys and myself and my friend be. No secrets and doubletalk.
Amen. Had confirmation practice today and confession. Our pastor is so relaxed and not-so-narrow sometimes lol.