Pavlov's Emoticon
I realized that every time i text or message someone and include an emoticon, my face typically displays the same expression to an effect... I don't know if I am smiling because I send a happy face, or if i send a happy face because i smile.
Life is kinda like a merry-go-round.
You get on, go up and down, and around and eventually you get off. In more than one way hopefully... In ways you could never even imagine, preferably.
I'm tired of other people casting judgement over me. If I am making a mistake, then it's a mistake I find worth making. I always end up alone and sad and regretting the outcome but never the cause.
I'm faced once again with the possibility of falling. I wonder why now, they call it "falling" in love. I don't really feel like im falling, more like being held up, not so much like flying, but more like being in the center of a bridge. I've done both falling and flying and neither one has made me consider what exactly a relationship is until i stepped out onto a bridge. Trust me, it's nothing to write your mother about, it's a pretty slow process and I imagine it will be slower yet with school going on for so long. But I finally have a friend, who is more than my friend, but is essentially down to thier core my friend. I don't mind it. I don't mind dismissing the formalities. Other people ridicule me, and yeah, they tell me that I deserve better or I deserve more or that I am being taken as a fool.
Well, they really dont see the situation from my perspective, they can't. I am well guarded, I wont dive foolishly into love, but i will trust my best friend. Because he trusts me too. I owe him a lot, and however unconventional this pairing might be, and how other people might not be able to understand why I am content to dismiss the term "relationship". I don't know what a relationship really is. What that term actually means. What about this word makes me feel more secure than the knowledge that he's there for me when ever i need him. Even at 3 am when I call crying about something stupid, he doesn't make me feel bad for it.
I suppose maybe when a person enteres into a relationship they conform themselves to be the type of person who will succeed in it. By dismissing that term, I feel like i am so much more free to do what i like when i like and my dedication is appreciated even more because I have that.
Yeah, but then some people tell me i am stupid, that I am being taken for a fool, that im lowering my standards by accepting to refrain from "labels". Well, labels never made me happy, if anything they just made it more complicated. Being referred to as someones girlfriend never made me any happier than being called someones friend, at least i dun think so. I like where this is going, or maybe where its not going, how it is on judged for the moment, not for what might be moments from today. I havemuch more freedom to focus on what else is important, and I don't feel guilty for it either. That's something different.
Life is kinda like a merry-go-round.
You get on, go up and down, and around and eventually you get off. In more than one way hopefully... In ways you could never even imagine, preferably.
I'm tired of other people casting judgement over me. If I am making a mistake, then it's a mistake I find worth making. I always end up alone and sad and regretting the outcome but never the cause.
I'm faced once again with the possibility of falling. I wonder why now, they call it "falling" in love. I don't really feel like im falling, more like being held up, not so much like flying, but more like being in the center of a bridge. I've done both falling and flying and neither one has made me consider what exactly a relationship is until i stepped out onto a bridge. Trust me, it's nothing to write your mother about, it's a pretty slow process and I imagine it will be slower yet with school going on for so long. But I finally have a friend, who is more than my friend, but is essentially down to thier core my friend. I don't mind it. I don't mind dismissing the formalities. Other people ridicule me, and yeah, they tell me that I deserve better or I deserve more or that I am being taken as a fool.
Well, they really dont see the situation from my perspective, they can't. I am well guarded, I wont dive foolishly into love, but i will trust my best friend. Because he trusts me too. I owe him a lot, and however unconventional this pairing might be, and how other people might not be able to understand why I am content to dismiss the term "relationship". I don't know what a relationship really is. What that term actually means. What about this word makes me feel more secure than the knowledge that he's there for me when ever i need him. Even at 3 am when I call crying about something stupid, he doesn't make me feel bad for it.
I suppose maybe when a person enteres into a relationship they conform themselves to be the type of person who will succeed in it. By dismissing that term, I feel like i am so much more free to do what i like when i like and my dedication is appreciated even more because I have that.
Yeah, but then some people tell me i am stupid, that I am being taken for a fool, that im lowering my standards by accepting to refrain from "labels". Well, labels never made me happy, if anything they just made it more complicated. Being referred to as someones girlfriend never made me any happier than being called someones friend, at least i dun think so. I like where this is going, or maybe where its not going, how it is on judged for the moment, not for what might be moments from today. I havemuch more freedom to focus on what else is important, and I don't feel guilty for it either. That's something different.