Fasting
As I told you, I have been doing a lot of reading based on the Metaphysical discussion group I have joined. This has been very good for me overall, and is focusing a desire to sort all this out in my head. What I really want now is a change of personal habits at a really basic integral level. Long, philosophical...
Which brings me to the subject of fasting. Every major religion has some form of fasting. Although my mother's generation, who had actually experienced unintentional hunger, thought fasting was crazy and dangerous, many medical studies are showing that under nourishing the body is better than over nourishing it and much better than malnourishment. There are various types, including strict fast, one meal a day, Ramadan style (only eat when the sun is down, which sort of amounts to once a day), fruit fast, juice fasts.
Why does it interest me? I feel that I have had a life long struggle with my appetites. And not just my desire for chocolate mousse, but my desire for another shot of tequilla, a pain pill, ganja, coffee, sex, stimulation, up, down, sideways. My inner child is a greedy little bitch, I've got to say. And she gets really fussy if she doesn't get her way. That works when you are two months old - but I must say that as a strategy for getting what you want, it begins to fail at OH about six years old. Also there is a fear, probably inherited from the Great Depression parents along with stories about having nothing but turnips and sweet potatoes for Xmas dinner, a real fear that the slightest twinge of hunger is a crisis. I sometimes feel that frightened, fussy, greedy little girl is in charge.
It's time to teach her a thing or two. Like being hungry a little won't really hurt anything. Like saying "no" occassionally to one's appeptites may even be a good, happy thing. And, where's the real risk? I don't have a regular job or a little kid to care for, if I make the house into my own little ashram, what's the problem with that? The main risk seems to me that I would set myself up for failure - that I would say something to the effect of "If I can't go without eating for three days, then I'm crap". That would be dumb. I am trying to phrase it more as "Let's try this and see what happens." Got to sneak up on the inner child, can't scare her, you know.
And I'm certainly not considering becoming bulimic. I'm not going to stop eating until I think I look good in a pair of jeans that is two sizes two small. Although weight loss would be a welcome change, that's not really the point. I'm beginning to see my chubby belly not as a deterrent to finding approval from others, but as the outward evidence of my inward weaknesses. I am carrying around the evidence of failure as extra weight on my arthritic knees. I'd just like to prove to myself that I can control this at least temporarily. Also, I'd like to find out if the ancient yogis are correct; do you get a spiritual boost when you empty the digestive system and let it clean itself out?
Since the knee problem and surgery is making me into a hermit, why not use this time to try to reset some bad habits?
So, I have talked about this to a few folks. The reactions are surprising. Spiritual people who have used fasting before, smile knowingly and nod. They understand my fear of failure and my reasons for trying. They might suggest a simple entry approach - I like the idea of starting with one, large, vegetarian meal in the middle of the day. BFF has been fasting to lose weight since she was 12 or so, but that's more of the bulemic approach than the spiritual. However, I must say that she's doing better with weight control than I am, although she DOES seem to be getting osteoporosis and muscle wasting, which is not somewhere I want to go. My husband was understanding and is only worried that I will be excessive, or disappointed with myself or extremely grouchy and difficult. He's basically on board with the idea.
But others have not been so accepting. Tiffany, my usual cheering squad, went just totally nuts on the subject. She seemed paniced at the idea that someone could go hungry even for an hour and not give the body something for it. Her dieting approach is to try to give the body tiny amounts of low calorie food every time it asks. She's more overweight, proportionally, than I am. Others have been similarly offended by the idea. I am sort of jumping to the conclusion that over eating is patriotic. It's the American way. Ceasing to be an overconsumer is unhealthy, dangerous and probably an indication that I'm a terrorits. Well, at least a muslim. Hmmmmmm.
So here's my plan.
Eat lightly today, with plenty of lean protein and vegetables. No refined sugar, no alcohol. I'm going to cook and freeze lunch plates for the husband and a big pot of soup that he can hit on even if I'm not interested. I'm going to go shopping for high quality seasonal veggies. If I can't keep up the fast, veggies and a little chicken soup won't be a bad re-entry to eating.
Tommorrow, weigh in for informational purposes. one meal at mid day, vegetarian, hot and filling. Water, Light herb tea (mint mostly - nothing that will cause dehydration or stomach irritation), water with lemon. Excercise in the morning. Take it easy, read and lie around if I want to. No caffeine, no alcohol, no sugars, no meds or supplements except the life saving prescription kind. Meditation twice a day.
Sunday, if Saturday went OK, either do that again or try a day without any food.
Monday, light vegetarian fare
Tuesday, eat like today.
Wednesday return to normal. Weigh in. Assess what I learned.
Which brings me to the subject of fasting. Every major religion has some form of fasting. Although my mother's generation, who had actually experienced unintentional hunger, thought fasting was crazy and dangerous, many medical studies are showing that under nourishing the body is better than over nourishing it and much better than malnourishment. There are various types, including strict fast, one meal a day, Ramadan style (only eat when the sun is down, which sort of amounts to once a day), fruit fast, juice fasts.
Why does it interest me? I feel that I have had a life long struggle with my appetites. And not just my desire for chocolate mousse, but my desire for another shot of tequilla, a pain pill, ganja, coffee, sex, stimulation, up, down, sideways. My inner child is a greedy little bitch, I've got to say. And she gets really fussy if she doesn't get her way. That works when you are two months old - but I must say that as a strategy for getting what you want, it begins to fail at OH about six years old. Also there is a fear, probably inherited from the Great Depression parents along with stories about having nothing but turnips and sweet potatoes for Xmas dinner, a real fear that the slightest twinge of hunger is a crisis. I sometimes feel that frightened, fussy, greedy little girl is in charge.
It's time to teach her a thing or two. Like being hungry a little won't really hurt anything. Like saying "no" occassionally to one's appeptites may even be a good, happy thing. And, where's the real risk? I don't have a regular job or a little kid to care for, if I make the house into my own little ashram, what's the problem with that? The main risk seems to me that I would set myself up for failure - that I would say something to the effect of "If I can't go without eating for three days, then I'm crap". That would be dumb. I am trying to phrase it more as "Let's try this and see what happens." Got to sneak up on the inner child, can't scare her, you know.
And I'm certainly not considering becoming bulimic. I'm not going to stop eating until I think I look good in a pair of jeans that is two sizes two small. Although weight loss would be a welcome change, that's not really the point. I'm beginning to see my chubby belly not as a deterrent to finding approval from others, but as the outward evidence of my inward weaknesses. I am carrying around the evidence of failure as extra weight on my arthritic knees. I'd just like to prove to myself that I can control this at least temporarily. Also, I'd like to find out if the ancient yogis are correct; do you get a spiritual boost when you empty the digestive system and let it clean itself out?
Since the knee problem and surgery is making me into a hermit, why not use this time to try to reset some bad habits?
So, I have talked about this to a few folks. The reactions are surprising. Spiritual people who have used fasting before, smile knowingly and nod. They understand my fear of failure and my reasons for trying. They might suggest a simple entry approach - I like the idea of starting with one, large, vegetarian meal in the middle of the day. BFF has been fasting to lose weight since she was 12 or so, but that's more of the bulemic approach than the spiritual. However, I must say that she's doing better with weight control than I am, although she DOES seem to be getting osteoporosis and muscle wasting, which is not somewhere I want to go. My husband was understanding and is only worried that I will be excessive, or disappointed with myself or extremely grouchy and difficult. He's basically on board with the idea.
But others have not been so accepting. Tiffany, my usual cheering squad, went just totally nuts on the subject. She seemed paniced at the idea that someone could go hungry even for an hour and not give the body something for it. Her dieting approach is to try to give the body tiny amounts of low calorie food every time it asks. She's more overweight, proportionally, than I am. Others have been similarly offended by the idea. I am sort of jumping to the conclusion that over eating is patriotic. It's the American way. Ceasing to be an overconsumer is unhealthy, dangerous and probably an indication that I'm a terrorits. Well, at least a muslim. Hmmmmmm.
So here's my plan.
Eat lightly today, with plenty of lean protein and vegetables. No refined sugar, no alcohol. I'm going to cook and freeze lunch plates for the husband and a big pot of soup that he can hit on even if I'm not interested. I'm going to go shopping for high quality seasonal veggies. If I can't keep up the fast, veggies and a little chicken soup won't be a bad re-entry to eating.
Tommorrow, weigh in for informational purposes. one meal at mid day, vegetarian, hot and filling. Water, Light herb tea (mint mostly - nothing that will cause dehydration or stomach irritation), water with lemon. Excercise in the morning. Take it easy, read and lie around if I want to. No caffeine, no alcohol, no sugars, no meds or supplements except the life saving prescription kind. Meditation twice a day.
Sunday, if Saturday went OK, either do that again or try a day without any food.
Monday, light vegetarian fare
Tuesday, eat like today.
Wednesday return to normal. Weigh in. Assess what I learned.