Torn between loving you

[hazardessangel]

I'm sitting here and I'm so confused cause I keep fighting myself for him.. A part of me wants to leave, but the other part wants me to stay. He says he's going to to change but I can't shake the feeling that it's nothing but lies. One day he would tell me that he's going to quit but the next day he's smoking like there is no tomorrow. He would

Comments

[nuclearxcupcake]

I know I haven't really known you that long, or very well, but I hate to see you going through this. I can't even imagine the choices you've got to make, and at such a young age, it has to be even harder. I hope that you've got some support somewhere, because you definitely need it in times like this.

And I don't think you're being selfish at all, thinking the way that you are. You're thinking perfectly right. You should care about what's best for yourself and the baby before anything else - you're going to be responsible for a new life soon, and it's completely understandable that you want to raise it in a safe, comfortable atmosphere instead of one that's got someone unreliable and irresponsible clouding things up. Honestly, it sounds like he's just not ready to be a father.. like he's just not matured enough yet to have the capabilities of caring about someone else before himself. Which is understandable at your age, but.. I suppose he also should have thought about that before he did what he did.

I don't know, I'm babbling now. All I really mean to say is, I hope you can continue to keep your strength up, and I wish you all the best with this situation and everything else going on in your life.

xo.

[hazardessangel]

Thanks for the support, I just hope he would change.. but he has a small problem called Friends. His friends aren't making it easy for him to grow up, they talk him into everything and if they can't they say they'll pay him.. and he'd do anything for money right now.. for the baby.. if I can't just get him to meet new and more mature people, I'll be happy cause then maybe- just maybe they'd rub off on him...

[nuclearxcupcake]

That's understandable.. a lot of the time people's friends are the biggest influences in their life, and they can't always see when that influence isn't exactly the type they need, because that's who they trust the most. I guess maybe when you actually have the baby, he'll realize that this is real, and he needs to straighten up.. but I really hope that it doesn't take that long for him to get it. Anyway.. I'm not religious, but I'll be thinking good thoughts for you, maybe it'll help somehow. :) *hugs*