Against the principles of God and Man!!!!
In other news, we've got an investation of hairy, wriggly, black CATERPILLARS that are EVERYWHERE. I mean, this is not your average, "Oh, look there are caterpillars on the ground," but a fucking OH MY GOD MY FACE IS CRAWLING WITH FIFTY CATERPILLARS I JUST BRUSHED UP AGAINST.
These mofos? Otherwise known as tent caterpillars. They form an army line like two inches deep of pure caterpillar up a tree, where they simply destroy the tree. You can tell which trees are infested because its leaves have been stripped bare. Also, there are caterpillars HANGING AT FACE HEIGHT. Yeah, you read right. These suckers LEVITATE.
This is SO totally why I don't believe in God. What the hell happened to God making insects crawl TWICE? :
"the living creatures of every kind that creep." Three verses, and 24 hours later, He makes "all kinds of creeping things of the earth." (from Slate Magazine - Blogging the Bible)
They were REALLY bad two weeks ago, webs and caterpillars and STRINGS of CATERPILLARS, as in a string made up of caterpillars hanging from trees. Not to mention underfoot, squishing, and in dorm rooms, between pages of books, IN YOUR BED OMG. :cry:
The buildings and grounds people cut off the lower branches of trees where the brunt of caterpillars were a week ago, but they didn't get to the top branches, where there were still caterpillars whose silk could still reach face-level and below. Still, there was a vast improvement in the quality of life last week.
Today, 9:00 AM.
Me: Doo dee doo. :does wary caterpillar check, eyes straining for tell-tale little glimmerse in the air signifying enemy presence.:
Me: :goes on my way.:
Today, 10:00
Me: Returning from Japanese oral exam. About to head for front door.
Curtain of caterpillars hanging down from silk thread that moves with the wind: *EXISTS BALEFULLY TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE*
Let me say it again:
These caterpillars? Levitate.
Think about it.
You eye those newly leafed trees warily: Fucking trees with their fucking caterpillars.
Every time you see a nice leaf blow past, you flinch--"OH GOD CATERPILLAR!"
The slightest tickle and you're slapping at yourself wildly, screaming at passersby: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: CATERPILLAR CHECK.
Imagine this a campus-wide phenomena.
Like the Handsmaid Tale, it's already happened.
Please look at my school, height of caterpillar infestation. Commiserate.
These mofos? Otherwise known as tent caterpillars. They form an army line like two inches deep of pure caterpillar up a tree, where they simply destroy the tree. You can tell which trees are infested because its leaves have been stripped bare. Also, there are caterpillars HANGING AT FACE HEIGHT. Yeah, you read right. These suckers LEVITATE.
This is SO totally why I don't believe in God. What the hell happened to God making insects crawl TWICE? :
"the living creatures of every kind that creep." Three verses, and 24 hours later, He makes "all kinds of creeping things of the earth." (from Slate Magazine - Blogging the Bible)
They were REALLY bad two weeks ago, webs and caterpillars and STRINGS of CATERPILLARS, as in a string made up of caterpillars hanging from trees. Not to mention underfoot, squishing, and in dorm rooms, between pages of books, IN YOUR BED OMG. :cry:
The buildings and grounds people cut off the lower branches of trees where the brunt of caterpillars were a week ago, but they didn't get to the top branches, where there were still caterpillars whose silk could still reach face-level and below. Still, there was a vast improvement in the quality of life last week.
Today, 9:00 AM.
Me: Doo dee doo. :does wary caterpillar check, eyes straining for tell-tale little glimmerse in the air signifying enemy presence.:
Me: :goes on my way.:
Today, 10:00
Me: Returning from Japanese oral exam. About to head for front door.
Curtain of caterpillars hanging down from silk thread that moves with the wind: *EXISTS BALEFULLY TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE*
Let me say it again:
These caterpillars? Levitate.
Think about it.
You eye those newly leafed trees warily: Fucking trees with their fucking caterpillars.
Every time you see a nice leaf blow past, you flinch--"OH GOD CATERPILLAR!"
The slightest tickle and you're slapping at yourself wildly, screaming at passersby: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: CATERPILLAR CHECK.
Imagine this a campus-wide phenomena.
Like the Handsmaid Tale, it's already happened.
Please look at my school, height of caterpillar infestation. Commiserate.