working on thesis, having panic attack
Working on my thesis today. Not nearly where I want to be. I've realized that this is the first project I've ever undertaken that I couldn't throw together in under a week. I also need loads more self-discipline in my life.
I should feel calmer with the fact that I'm actually getting work done, but really I'm just ratcheting up the anxiety scale. Which makes me irritable (more so than usual). So now my irritation and anxiety are balled up in my chest like an alien ready to burst forth in a shower of bone bits and gore. Just thought I'd share that imagery with everyone.
Tomorrow I have to call the place that makes these documents and speak to another human being and get documents and information. I have trouble with the whole interacting with other people over the phone thing.
So, yes. Nervous, irritable, contemplating anger management classes (or just screaming FUCK a bunch of times at the top of my lungs), but, overall, making progress.
I should feel calmer with the fact that I'm actually getting work done, but really I'm just ratcheting up the anxiety scale. Which makes me irritable (more so than usual). So now my irritation and anxiety are balled up in my chest like an alien ready to burst forth in a shower of bone bits and gore. Just thought I'd share that imagery with everyone.
Tomorrow I have to call the place that makes these documents and speak to another human being and get documents and information. I have trouble with the whole interacting with other people over the phone thing.
So, yes. Nervous, irritable, contemplating anger management classes (or just screaming FUCK a bunch of times at the top of my lungs), but, overall, making progress.