Goals.
It is so so strange the things that someone can take for granted without realizing. I feel like I wasted so many years putting myself down over and over again and now simple things like watching 'The Parent Trap' makes me feel good about myself...Even if it is the shitty Lohan version.Maybe it is the duloxetine talking or maybe it is just growing on me over time,this ability to be happy without feeling guilty.Either way I am looking forward to getting older and learning new things and teaching my son new things and damn,just being new. I've managed my anxiety a lot more effectively this year,had a few break downs but nothing too bad,I can handle it now even if it feels like I can't and I think that IS the duloxetine,it does fuck with me a little bit but I think I'm getting used to it now.I feel a lot of relief even if it means I had to admit that I couldn't do it alone but maybe one day I can. I've got so much to be elated about and I really am. I've never felt so needed or appreciated as I do when my little boy looks at me and THAT is the one thing that keeps me going every day. Knowing that I am solely responsible to make sure he is happy and that he knows that I love him and that I have to teach him how to do things is so remarkable. I know its cliche or whatever but he gave me so much respect for life,something that I don't think I ever truly had before. So I guess I am setting goals for myself and I really think I have a shot at it too. Even if no well adjusted person still writes in a journal they started when they were like 15...