(no subject)
it is so good to be home. it is sooo nice to feel normal again.
but this whole time i've been thinking--why couldn't i do this in d.c.?
and yeah, slowly but surely i've been figuring things out.
i've realized alot. regretted alot. cried about alot.
and i guess that's what you do first. while i was there, i always knew something was wrong. but i didn't know exactly WHAT was wrong. i didn't exactly know how things had gotten that way. and i sure AS HELL didn't know how to fix it all. i'm not saying i have all of the answers now, but each day brings a little more enlightenment.
i have plenty of time to work on everything. i basically know all of the changes i want to make. i just have to be determined enough to follow through. which is not a problem.
so yes, this will be a very productive summer. i'm re-beautifying myself with sun. i am getting ahead in my classes by taking a biology course. i have a job, and intend on paying for sorority myself.
but most importantly: i have reconnected with myself. i have confidence, happiness and contenment again. however--i am now cognizant of certain personality flaws. i want to fix them--not only for myself, but also so i can be a better person for the people who love me. i have taken too much for granted. i have been too selfish. and i think this is the first time in my life i have realized that. so i want to fix it. i want to be a better person. i want to feel like i deserve all of the wonderful things i have in my life.
so yes. this summer will be r&r. this summer will be busy. this summer will be hot and sunny and delightful. this summer will be dramatic (because my life is always dramatic).
this summer will be a time for self discovery and self improvement. however, i hope to never end this processes. i want to be better. i WILL be better.
and that's all. happy summer, everyone :)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hayleigh8/15407.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hayleigh8/15906.html
i'd like to think that way again. except this time apply everything i know now. i want to be cultivated into a better person--a more complete person. i have the confidence. i have the resources. now i just have to purge myself of unwanted and undesirable qualities. it won't be easy. but i've always loved a challenge: i work best under pressure, and i achieve great things when the stakes are high.
but this whole time i've been thinking--why couldn't i do this in d.c.?
and yeah, slowly but surely i've been figuring things out.
i've realized alot. regretted alot. cried about alot.
and i guess that's what you do first. while i was there, i always knew something was wrong. but i didn't know exactly WHAT was wrong. i didn't exactly know how things had gotten that way. and i sure AS HELL didn't know how to fix it all. i'm not saying i have all of the answers now, but each day brings a little more enlightenment.
i have plenty of time to work on everything. i basically know all of the changes i want to make. i just have to be determined enough to follow through. which is not a problem.
so yes, this will be a very productive summer. i'm re-beautifying myself with sun. i am getting ahead in my classes by taking a biology course. i have a job, and intend on paying for sorority myself.
but most importantly: i have reconnected with myself. i have confidence, happiness and contenment again. however--i am now cognizant of certain personality flaws. i want to fix them--not only for myself, but also so i can be a better person for the people who love me. i have taken too much for granted. i have been too selfish. and i think this is the first time in my life i have realized that. so i want to fix it. i want to be a better person. i want to feel like i deserve all of the wonderful things i have in my life.
so yes. this summer will be r&r. this summer will be busy. this summer will be hot and sunny and delightful. this summer will be dramatic (because my life is always dramatic).
this summer will be a time for self discovery and self improvement. however, i hope to never end this processes. i want to be better. i WILL be better.
and that's all. happy summer, everyone :)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hayleigh8/15407.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hayleigh8/15906.html
i'd like to think that way again. except this time apply everything i know now. i want to be cultivated into a better person--a more complete person. i have the confidence. i have the resources. now i just have to purge myself of unwanted and undesirable qualities. it won't be easy. but i've always loved a challenge: i work best under pressure, and i achieve great things when the stakes are high.