Just Because You're Helpess....
I stayed up last night thinking alot about the entry I wrote yesterday.
I thought alot about my father... the band... and the baby...
I have to give him credit. He's always been there for me. My father really didnt know his parents. He traveled around the world with his parents and finally they dropped him off at a boys town with his brother so that they could continue their missionary work in Japan. And even though he didnt know his dad that well, he has done one hell of a job with me and I hope I can be half the dad he has been. He met my mother at christmas party... could you imagine being with someone for 30 years just to end up holding their hand and watching them die of something you couldn't stop or control. After she died he stepped up and did what he had to to make sure that us kids were taken care of. And I know he just wants to make sure that I can do the same, cause he isnt gonna be here forever either. I know he loves me.
The band really has come a long way. I have emails from people, not just around the area where I live, but all over the US and even from other countries, people have written to say how the music and lyrics have touched them. I cant say that we havent gotten anywhere... maybe we're not playing sold out shows in giant arena's, but that doesnt mean I dont have something to show for the last 3 years of my life.
As for the baby... what can I say. All I can do is love that little girl and be happy that I can see her whenever I can. To support her financially and emotionally, and start putting her first. I know that I can, I just don't wanna mess this up. This is one thing that isnt something I can just throw off and I have been acting like I could cause I didnt think I could handle it, and maybe I can't, but I have to give it all that I have. I have to give her all I have. So here I go....
All those answers I thought were questions after all... were only unanswered until now... and the only reason I thought I hadnt gotten anywhere, is cause I wasnt paying attention when I started, and I dont know where here is....but I'll know... whenever I get there... and it can be where ever I want it to be... all I gotta do... is try...
- Hayden
I thought alot about my father... the band... and the baby...
I have to give him credit. He's always been there for me. My father really didnt know his parents. He traveled around the world with his parents and finally they dropped him off at a boys town with his brother so that they could continue their missionary work in Japan. And even though he didnt know his dad that well, he has done one hell of a job with me and I hope I can be half the dad he has been. He met my mother at christmas party... could you imagine being with someone for 30 years just to end up holding their hand and watching them die of something you couldn't stop or control. After she died he stepped up and did what he had to to make sure that us kids were taken care of. And I know he just wants to make sure that I can do the same, cause he isnt gonna be here forever either. I know he loves me.
The band really has come a long way. I have emails from people, not just around the area where I live, but all over the US and even from other countries, people have written to say how the music and lyrics have touched them. I cant say that we havent gotten anywhere... maybe we're not playing sold out shows in giant arena's, but that doesnt mean I dont have something to show for the last 3 years of my life.
As for the baby... what can I say. All I can do is love that little girl and be happy that I can see her whenever I can. To support her financially and emotionally, and start putting her first. I know that I can, I just don't wanna mess this up. This is one thing that isnt something I can just throw off and I have been acting like I could cause I didnt think I could handle it, and maybe I can't, but I have to give it all that I have. I have to give her all I have. So here I go....
All those answers I thought were questions after all... were only unanswered until now... and the only reason I thought I hadnt gotten anywhere, is cause I wasnt paying attention when I started, and I dont know where here is....but I'll know... whenever I get there... and it can be where ever I want it to be... all I gotta do... is try...
- Hayden