An entry for my stupid heart
Hi, im here again.
This is an entry for my stupid heart.
I think i probably should've know how to process my feelings by now, but its getting harder for me thesedays.
Feels like wanna punch myself for being ridiculous.
Okay, here goes another stupid (heart-matters) story:
Last month (8th April 2020) when we started Working From Home, i've encountered a technical issue with my account, so the IT guys suggested a Technical Consultant to help me out.
So the Tech Guy PM'ed me and asking about my problem.
Problem solved and we introduced ourselves to each other.
I told him that we're newbies, so we arent that familiar with the systems. Since everyone now working remotely from home so its even harder for us to catch things up.
The Tech Guy listened attentively. He was so passionate. He offered to have an underground session with him. I can even asked the other newbies to join. But since i think i've some technical background, so i'll tend asking technical questions, so im scared the other newbies cant keep up with me so i requested a separate session and he agreed.
Since then, he teaches me few important topics and i branched out some questions from it. At first our conversation was purely about the functionalities of the system, understanding the concept and getting to know about the organization.
After the knowledge transfer ended, i stopped contacting him.
When we started handling live tickets, i started messaging him again bcs he's good at explaining technical stuff. And he'll be gladly to teach me so i felt a little bit spoiled by him. This is where everything begins. Sigh~
When we talked too much of work related stuff, i'll try to stray away with some personal questions to poke fun him.
As time goes by, i feel quite comfortable with him so i started to speak comfortably with him. (I dont know how old is him, but i guess he's around 29. But when i stalked him on FB, i think he left uni in 2016 or 2017, which mean he's only 25 or 26. OMG, he's such a fetus! T^T)
However he's very resourceful and reliable. Perhaps its bcs i havent had the opportunity to meet him in person, and till then maybe my perception of him will change too. Who knows. *shrugs*
Im just scared that i was unable to be this comfortable with him when im around him in the office. OTL
Hmm..that's fine. Im just being overthinking again. Maybe he'll just take me as a normal colleague. *roll eyes*
Anyways, I think i just need some space to vent this out and clear my mind in order for me to think straight.
Yatie, pls stop all your wishful thinking, and comeback to the reality.
