Japan: Day 2
Ok, here goes Day 2! Ikuyo!
So, we wake up the next day after sleeping in the capsule hotel. Let me tell you about the capsule hotel. This thing is a damn plastic COFFIN. It's six feet by about two feet with a television in the ceiling. They're designed for business men, so they're pretty bare-bones. We spent the night in our tombs and woke up rather early thanks to jet lag. Colin said that he had been up since about 6 am, and that he had waited to wake us up until boredom had overcome him and that was at about 8:30. We got up and bathed, dropped off our night-robe things and got dressed. We headed out and immediately went in search of breakfast. We looked around and saw this noodle shop across the street and decided it was probably cheap and that we were starving, so we might as well get something there.
We go up to the window to check out the display of food. It's ALL soba noodles. This place is as cheap as it gets. Averaging 300 yen a meal, this place basically gave you noodles in a bowl and called it good. Which was totally fine with us, starvation makes anything taste good. We decide what we want based on the picture, I tell everyone what they're called and tell them to remember the symbols or wait till I could help them. We go inside and this nice old lady from the shop helps us to choose the ones that we wanted, though we were managing on our own. She shows us how to order, which consisted of us putting money into a vending machine like the hotel and pushing the button for the dish we wanted. Then, we gave that to the cook and stood at the counter until it was done. We had our backpacks with us, so we were taking a considerable amount of room, so when we got our food, which was delicious, we paid and left.
Standing outside the shop, we looked at each other and said, "So, where now?" "Let's go to Kyoto," was the general consensus, so we all headed for the station, hopped on the subway and got back to Tokyo Station. We found the bullet train schedule, conveniently labeled in English and decided we needed the Hikari line that left in 15 minutes. We go over to the attendants to get tickets with out passes, wait in line, and tell the gal there that we wanted such and such train. She said that there were no seat left in the non-smoking section unless we wanted to wait 30 minutes. We, unaware of Japan's smoking habits, say we would rather get on now, figuring it can't be THAT BAD. We are men, we can take it.
We go up to the platform after awe-struck gawking at the signs, hoping that they would magically reveal the way to us. Unfortunately, we didn't look at the ticket, which had the platform on it. By the time we figured it out, we had about 5 minutes, so we went up to the platform and waited at the end, where our car was. We hopped on when it arrived and sat down, backpacks and all. The train gained a couple of passengers, then a few more, and a few more until it was nearly full. Well, we thought, they probably won't smoke that much. Upon saying that, 8 people in our immediate vicinity light up and away we go. We spent the entire time chocking and feeling sick as our noses filled with second-hand death. I had bought a bottle of green tea while waiting, which managed to subdue the horrible smell with bitter taste, but it only lasted so long and left me needing to use the toilet.
During the train ride, only one thing of note happened. We were sitting there, and as I watched the land roll by, I realized that Japan never stopped having cities. Sure, we would go through a tunnel of darkness every now and then, but as soon as we were out - BAM - another city. This left Marcus and I to conclude that Japan was not actually a country. Nay, it was one large city that was separated by hills that they couldn't build on. That's where all the nature came from - places people couldn't live.
Anyway, we arrived at Kyoto Station, so we disembarked and get our bearrings. We decided that our backpacks were too heavy for sightseeing, so we walked around until we found some coin lockers, which were vacant and we disposed of our baggage. Colin and Andy had a bit of a challenge with their mammoth-size packs, but they forced them in and we walked outside. We got out Colin's map of Kyoto in the book he had, and decided to head for Gion. Couldn't be that far of a walk, I mean, the map made it look so close. So amble off in the direction we think is right, only to come to the sudden realization that it's not. We turned around, headed back to the station and decided to follow the train tracks, since that are going the right direction. Well, the road dead-ends right outside the station, so we decided to creat our own way.
Bad idea.
We walked down the street for a bit, looking at the local color, and, when we found a big enough street to turn onto, we made a left and crossed a large river that runs through the city. While I explained what I knew about the city and its landmarks from studies and the previous visit, we kept following the road until we got to a street where we could turn left and make it up to Gion. We headed up the road, which slowly lost all signs of civilization, save for the massive factory next to it. About a block into it, the sidewalk ended and we decided it would be unsafe to walk along a service road against oncoming traffic, especially since we didn't know if it would get there. We turned back, getting weird looks from the old Japanese men who were around and went back to the original street. We followed this for a while, getting caught between the closing bars of the train tracks in the process, which forced us to run quickly out of harms way.
We got to another major street, which on the map headed up to Gion. Well, after our scenic tour of the factory section of the city, we decided this was probably a good idea. By the way, during our tour, we walked under the bridge we had crossed to get down to street level, where we found some old men playing mahjong. Totally awesome. Anyway, along we go, looking at the local stores and whatnot, finding we are very hungry. But, there are no restaurants. While walking, we managed to go past a place selling Taiyaki, which is a grilled fish-shaped pastry filled with either redbean paste or custard. There was no one at the booth, so we went into the market and told one of the people there we wanted to buy some. He calls into the back and out comes the pastry chef, and he sells us some and thanks us as we head off on our way. My God, it was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.
At this point, our walking total had been a good chunk of the day, about 2 or 3 hours. We were starving again, and so, when it started to rain, we headed into the first restaurant we found, which was this tiny place called Asian Sweets Cafe or something. We sat down, much to the surprise of the owner, a young lady who obviously didn't expect to see four teenage Americans come into her shop to eat. Marcus and Colin ordered Beef Curry off a menu that was nothing short of fabulous, much to my dismay, and Andy ordered a salmon bowl. I wanted a sashimi bowl, but she was out of the fish, so I panicked and got the Beef Curry as well. She served us in some really neat plates, and the food was excellent. Best curry I've ever had, period. And, since we ordered a set, we got dessert. Marcus, Colin and Andy chose the Mango sherbet, but when she said "Ichigo miruku," I immediately knew what to get. They got their ice cream, which was little more than a scoop, but quite tasty, and I got a mountain of shaved ice with a strawberry cream milk on top, which was the best dessert I got during my stay in that country. They were all jealous.
During our meal, it had started to POUR. The sky had unleashed all of its sorrows on the ground, and there were waves in the streets and people soaked to the bone. Of course, none of us failed to notice when a beautiful woman walked by in a soaked white t-shirt (save for me, who wasn't paying attention - damn it all). When the rain finally let up, we got up and continued our journey. We walked along the side of the street until we say what a sign, in Japanese, made out to be the Imperial Art Museum of Kyoto. Some elementary students were standing across from it at a bus stop, and as we walked by, they laughed and a few said 'hello'. We played along as we walked, deciding not to go into the museum, since we would see some pretty cool stuff in Gion too. Nothing else of note happened until we got to Gion, at around 4 or 5 o'clock.
We explored the area, taking in all the shrines that we could. We wandered around, looking at everything we could distinguish to be important, hoping that some evidence of the Tanabata festival would appear, but none did. We entered many shrines, purified ourselves rather ungracefully, and walked around. We saw traditional Japanese homes and restaurants and everything you would expect from such an area. However, at around 6, when we were tired of looking around for the day, once again realized that we had failed to acquire a place to stay before setting out. With this in mind, we found a subway, figured out how to get to Kyoto Station, and zipped on back. Kyoto subways, by the way, are far more confusing and sucky than Tokyo subways.
When I say 'zipped back,' I mean we hopped on a train that went to a station where we could transfer to Kyoto Station. We got on the train, tired and stressed, and rode it for a bit. We then realized that it was an express train. It went right past the three stops that would have worked for us, and, ten minutes later, we stopped and we were able to go back up to the station we needed - on a regular train. Once there, we got off and made it up to Kyoto station without any further delays beyond the massive annoyance the express caused.
We retrieved our backpacks and asked information if there was somewhere "cheap to stay." The guy thinks for a moment and gets out a youth hostel brochure, and tells us its just down the street we took earlier to get to the bridge. In fact, we had already seen and passed and commented on the building. And it was only 2,500 yen a night! We got down there and asked for four rooms. The young woman behind the counter looked at us and asked if we had a reservation, to which we replied no. She hmmed, since she spoke perfect English and looked in her system. She said there weren't any rooms and she was really sorry. She did look upset about it, and when I told everyone, we kinda laughed and she asked if we would like her to look up something else for us.
I turned around, smiled and said that would be really helpful. At this point, a young Australian guy came downstairs and started talking to everyone about Gion, the star festival (there was no real 'festival'), and how he lost his sunglasses on the bus. The girl, meanwhile, was talking with me, and I was making jokes about how lost and without a place to stay we were, and she looks at me and asks how cheap I wanted it. I said, "Cheap." She laughs, goes back to the computer, and says, "Here's somewhere. It's called the Toji-an. It's about 15 minutes away by foot and is 2,000 yen a night." I say that's perfect, and she offers to draw a map. She explains all the streets to look for and how to know we've gone too far. She must have really liked us. Or me. I have that affect on women.
All jokes aside, we set out in high spirits, backpacks and all. We walked and walked and walked, crossing a bridge over a street and after about 12 minutes everyone started getting nervous. I said that we were looking for such-and-such street, next to a giant pagoda called "Toji". We finally found the pagoda, and started to go up the street. Our instructions were to go up the street until the first little inlet street before the parking lot. Well, we get to the parking lot and turn left into a...parking lot. At this we were confused, and after some wandering, we walk over to a koban (local police box) and I asked for directions. Obviously excited to speak Japanese with a foreigner, the man spoke very quickly and said to keep going up the street, it will be on your left. We thank him and follow his advice, going up. Well, we take the first left through a neighborhood, and after about 10 minutes of aimless wandering, we head back to the main road. We must have been misled. We walk back towards the koban, stop, and turn around. We go up past the street we turned at, and, lo and behold, it's right there on the SECOND left. We went over to it, as it was labeled with a cheap paper lantern with "Toji-an" scrawled on it. Good sign.
We went inside to a minuscule reception area. Looking around, we take off our shoes and the innkeeper comes out, saying he got a call about us (the girl called him to make sure he had room before we left) and that he would check us in. He was a very friendly guy who spoke some English. I sit down across from him on a tatami to talk about the rooms, he says 2,000 yen unless we want breakfast, which is 300 yen extra. 300 yen for breakfast? HELLS YEAH. Then he explains breakfast. Imagine, if you will, the most hilarious accent on English possible...with a Japanese accent.
"Breakfast is 8 o'crock to 9 thirty. Breakfast is eggs, toast and JAM."
JAM(Jawm)?, we all think to ourselves. Why the hell is he so excited about JAM?
"Is there a time we must be back by?"
"No. Quiet time is from 12:30. 9:30 to 12 is FREE BEER TIME."
"Uh...we're 18."
"Is FREE."
"We're 18."
"IS FREE."
"Ohhh...kay...."
With this, we go upstairs, though a narrow and obviously old tatami room with a bunch of Japanese guys taking part in the ritual known as FREE BEER TIME. We go upstairs, lay down our stuff, and he explains the place, while tying cloth around a sack of plastic beans. This was meant to be a pillow. There was nowhere to take a shower. Toilet was downstairs. Two sinks are also downstairs. We can leave our stuff in the rooms. Check out is at 10 am. I then begin to converse with this odd fellow, telling him what our plans were and who spoke Japanese. I, being casual, referred to Andy, but did so so as to call him "This asshole," which both the innkeeper and I thought was pretty funny. Andy, however, did not so much.
Let me take a moment to describe the interior of the Toji-an. This place was dilapidated. Boards were nailed to the walls. Everything was about 15 years old and not well taken care of. The western-style toilet, the latest addition, looked out at the roof of the old toilet, and had been covered up by some plywood for privacy. I could see the sky while taking a leak. Everything was narrow, we had to wash our own plates in a kitchen that was maybe 4 feet wide, and there was no room for anything. The beds were so thin they weren't there. The bed frames were so old that they had created 1-inch dents in the tatami mat, and squeaked horribly if any slight movement was made near them. I managed to find a bug in my sheets, which I thought was kinda funny, since it was so stereotypical. Our room was up a flight of stairs that ran at about an 85 degree angle. Andy broke one of the steps on his way down (they were really weak) and the guy said it was fine. I mean, what did he care for appearances at this point? This place was most likely about to be condemned, but we loved it anyway, because Kyoto would have been so boring without it.
Anyway, we left the Toji-an and all its weirdness, and headed back to Gion. The innkeeper said to take the #42 bus, so we hopped on it, and after a great deal of riding time, I began to think that we were there until finally, I convinced everyone that we were and we got off. Well, we weren't. It wasn't a bad part of town, it was just dull. All the shops had closed. It was well lit and there were lanterns everywhere, so we figured Gion was close and headed off in the right direction. After a little while, we got tired and decided to stop, and oh yeah, EAT DINNER. We found this place called Asian Cafe or something. It looked like a chain for young people, so we went upstairs and were seated by a very energetic staff. We looked at the menu, which was pretty decent, and everyone settled on their own meal. Andy didn't get much, but all the dishes were good. Our waitress, as Colin and Marcus put it, had the world's best lips. I didn't quite understand, but she was cute. Anyway, we also ordered drinks. We figured that since the Toji-an guy didn't care, neither would these people. Colin ordered an Asahi beer, and Marcus and I ordered off the special drinks menu, both things that we thought looked good, but had never heard of.
When the drinks arrived, we discovered we had ordered girl drinks. This was obviously a test of our masculinity. We set upon the bright green, flower-adorned drinks with timid fury, testing the waters before inhaling it like an animal. But, before we could drink any, they came by, saying that the drinks were wrong, which, we already knew, they were. Mine had a PURPLE flower, dammit. They bring what I can only assume to be the proper drinks, Marcus's being this weird, glowing green liquid on the rocks, mine look exactly the same but with no flower. It was bitter and terrible, while the first had been sweet and refreshing. Either way, we consumed them and were on our way. But not before asking the waitress how to get to Gion.
She told us that it was down the street a ways, and she drew me a map, just like the last lady. What the hell is up with this practice? They all had this flirtatious look when they handed me the maps, including the first lady. The hell? Your house isn't on it, what are you trying to say? Apparently, they liked me. Anyway, when we saw how far it was, we decided to wander for a bit and head back. We found the 42 and rode it back to the Toji-an, where we asked where we could bathe, since there was no shower. He said that we could go to either one of the local public baths and that he would refund us all but 1 dollar.
We left the Toji-an with our towels provided by him from a large plastic tub (ew), and followed his directions to one of the public baths. Andy had gone ahead, as he wanted to bathe and go to sleep quickly, while the rest of us lounged for a bit. We left, went up the road and turned left, following what looked like the Colfax Avenue of Kyoto down a bit, and say the fabled bath. Hey, it was closed for the non-existant holiday. So, we turned towards the other. Walking along, we encountered Andy, who was a bit lost, and together we managed to find it (he had just missed it). We went in, being instructed on how to bathe and general etiquette. Andy stepped onto the raised area with his shoes, earning a short rebuke, but otherwise we were fine. We bathed, and on our way out we met a young man who obviously wanted to practice his English a bit, but we weren't in any mood (Long day of walking and starving doesn't make you want to converse much), so we politely nodded and made our way out. Before we left, however, the cleaning lady gave him one hell of a lecture.
He came in and put his shoes where he stepped up onto the raised area of the floor. This sparked the cleaning ladies temper and she told him to put his shoes in the lockers, because it made that spot dirty and then she had to clean it and if people would just put their shoes in the locker it would save her so much trouble and she would use fewer supplies and wouldn't have to scold people all the time. He sheepishly lockered his shoes. She then said some stuff about foreigners not getting it either, which made me laugh, making her realize that I understood her. She grunted a snicker and we left.
On our way back to the Toji-an (I'm ALMOST done, I swear), we encountered a porn house/strip club. We stared in amazement at its proximity to the inn. We then decided that we should not let the opportunity go to waste and immediately took a picture in front of the billboard covered with naked women and then the times it was open. They were as hilarious as the building itself. The strip club was open at 10 AM, and remained so until 11 PM. It was about midnight by this time, so it was CLOSED. A strip club closing at 11 PM? Who spends the DAY in a strip club? What kind of country had we come to?
We departed from it, laughing hysterically. We made it back to the Toji-an after running across the four-lane road, went upstairs and got into bed. However, no sooner had we gotten under the covers than the FREE BEER TIME enjoying guests of the neighboring room came up, yammering about loudly while we tried to sleep. After about 15 minutes of their shouting, Andy got fed up and asked me how to say, "Please be quiet, I cannot sleep," so I taught him, and he went into the next room. This room, by the way, was separated from us by only a paper shoji. That's not seperation. That's a piece of paper between rooms, so we heard EVERYTHING. Andy tried to tell them, but being tired, forgot the words and half pantomimed and half spoke his troubles until they got it. He went back to bed, they were loud for about another minute, and that was that. We all slept like rocks.
So, we wake up the next day after sleeping in the capsule hotel. Let me tell you about the capsule hotel. This thing is a damn plastic COFFIN. It's six feet by about two feet with a television in the ceiling. They're designed for business men, so they're pretty bare-bones. We spent the night in our tombs and woke up rather early thanks to jet lag. Colin said that he had been up since about 6 am, and that he had waited to wake us up until boredom had overcome him and that was at about 8:30. We got up and bathed, dropped off our night-robe things and got dressed. We headed out and immediately went in search of breakfast. We looked around and saw this noodle shop across the street and decided it was probably cheap and that we were starving, so we might as well get something there.
We go up to the window to check out the display of food. It's ALL soba noodles. This place is as cheap as it gets. Averaging 300 yen a meal, this place basically gave you noodles in a bowl and called it good. Which was totally fine with us, starvation makes anything taste good. We decide what we want based on the picture, I tell everyone what they're called and tell them to remember the symbols or wait till I could help them. We go inside and this nice old lady from the shop helps us to choose the ones that we wanted, though we were managing on our own. She shows us how to order, which consisted of us putting money into a vending machine like the hotel and pushing the button for the dish we wanted. Then, we gave that to the cook and stood at the counter until it was done. We had our backpacks with us, so we were taking a considerable amount of room, so when we got our food, which was delicious, we paid and left.
Standing outside the shop, we looked at each other and said, "So, where now?" "Let's go to Kyoto," was the general consensus, so we all headed for the station, hopped on the subway and got back to Tokyo Station. We found the bullet train schedule, conveniently labeled in English and decided we needed the Hikari line that left in 15 minutes. We go over to the attendants to get tickets with out passes, wait in line, and tell the gal there that we wanted such and such train. She said that there were no seat left in the non-smoking section unless we wanted to wait 30 minutes. We, unaware of Japan's smoking habits, say we would rather get on now, figuring it can't be THAT BAD. We are men, we can take it.
We go up to the platform after awe-struck gawking at the signs, hoping that they would magically reveal the way to us. Unfortunately, we didn't look at the ticket, which had the platform on it. By the time we figured it out, we had about 5 minutes, so we went up to the platform and waited at the end, where our car was. We hopped on when it arrived and sat down, backpacks and all. The train gained a couple of passengers, then a few more, and a few more until it was nearly full. Well, we thought, they probably won't smoke that much. Upon saying that, 8 people in our immediate vicinity light up and away we go. We spent the entire time chocking and feeling sick as our noses filled with second-hand death. I had bought a bottle of green tea while waiting, which managed to subdue the horrible smell with bitter taste, but it only lasted so long and left me needing to use the toilet.
During the train ride, only one thing of note happened. We were sitting there, and as I watched the land roll by, I realized that Japan never stopped having cities. Sure, we would go through a tunnel of darkness every now and then, but as soon as we were out - BAM - another city. This left Marcus and I to conclude that Japan was not actually a country. Nay, it was one large city that was separated by hills that they couldn't build on. That's where all the nature came from - places people couldn't live.
Anyway, we arrived at Kyoto Station, so we disembarked and get our bearrings. We decided that our backpacks were too heavy for sightseeing, so we walked around until we found some coin lockers, which were vacant and we disposed of our baggage. Colin and Andy had a bit of a challenge with their mammoth-size packs, but they forced them in and we walked outside. We got out Colin's map of Kyoto in the book he had, and decided to head for Gion. Couldn't be that far of a walk, I mean, the map made it look so close. So amble off in the direction we think is right, only to come to the sudden realization that it's not. We turned around, headed back to the station and decided to follow the train tracks, since that are going the right direction. Well, the road dead-ends right outside the station, so we decided to creat our own way.
Bad idea.
We walked down the street for a bit, looking at the local color, and, when we found a big enough street to turn onto, we made a left and crossed a large river that runs through the city. While I explained what I knew about the city and its landmarks from studies and the previous visit, we kept following the road until we got to a street where we could turn left and make it up to Gion. We headed up the road, which slowly lost all signs of civilization, save for the massive factory next to it. About a block into it, the sidewalk ended and we decided it would be unsafe to walk along a service road against oncoming traffic, especially since we didn't know if it would get there. We turned back, getting weird looks from the old Japanese men who were around and went back to the original street. We followed this for a while, getting caught between the closing bars of the train tracks in the process, which forced us to run quickly out of harms way.
We got to another major street, which on the map headed up to Gion. Well, after our scenic tour of the factory section of the city, we decided this was probably a good idea. By the way, during our tour, we walked under the bridge we had crossed to get down to street level, where we found some old men playing mahjong. Totally awesome. Anyway, along we go, looking at the local stores and whatnot, finding we are very hungry. But, there are no restaurants. While walking, we managed to go past a place selling Taiyaki, which is a grilled fish-shaped pastry filled with either redbean paste or custard. There was no one at the booth, so we went into the market and told one of the people there we wanted to buy some. He calls into the back and out comes the pastry chef, and he sells us some and thanks us as we head off on our way. My God, it was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.
At this point, our walking total had been a good chunk of the day, about 2 or 3 hours. We were starving again, and so, when it started to rain, we headed into the first restaurant we found, which was this tiny place called Asian Sweets Cafe or something. We sat down, much to the surprise of the owner, a young lady who obviously didn't expect to see four teenage Americans come into her shop to eat. Marcus and Colin ordered Beef Curry off a menu that was nothing short of fabulous, much to my dismay, and Andy ordered a salmon bowl. I wanted a sashimi bowl, but she was out of the fish, so I panicked and got the Beef Curry as well. She served us in some really neat plates, and the food was excellent. Best curry I've ever had, period. And, since we ordered a set, we got dessert. Marcus, Colin and Andy chose the Mango sherbet, but when she said "Ichigo miruku," I immediately knew what to get. They got their ice cream, which was little more than a scoop, but quite tasty, and I got a mountain of shaved ice with a strawberry cream milk on top, which was the best dessert I got during my stay in that country. They were all jealous.
During our meal, it had started to POUR. The sky had unleashed all of its sorrows on the ground, and there were waves in the streets and people soaked to the bone. Of course, none of us failed to notice when a beautiful woman walked by in a soaked white t-shirt (save for me, who wasn't paying attention - damn it all). When the rain finally let up, we got up and continued our journey. We walked along the side of the street until we say what a sign, in Japanese, made out to be the Imperial Art Museum of Kyoto. Some elementary students were standing across from it at a bus stop, and as we walked by, they laughed and a few said 'hello'. We played along as we walked, deciding not to go into the museum, since we would see some pretty cool stuff in Gion too. Nothing else of note happened until we got to Gion, at around 4 or 5 o'clock.
We explored the area, taking in all the shrines that we could. We wandered around, looking at everything we could distinguish to be important, hoping that some evidence of the Tanabata festival would appear, but none did. We entered many shrines, purified ourselves rather ungracefully, and walked around. We saw traditional Japanese homes and restaurants and everything you would expect from such an area. However, at around 6, when we were tired of looking around for the day, once again realized that we had failed to acquire a place to stay before setting out. With this in mind, we found a subway, figured out how to get to Kyoto Station, and zipped on back. Kyoto subways, by the way, are far more confusing and sucky than Tokyo subways.
When I say 'zipped back,' I mean we hopped on a train that went to a station where we could transfer to Kyoto Station. We got on the train, tired and stressed, and rode it for a bit. We then realized that it was an express train. It went right past the three stops that would have worked for us, and, ten minutes later, we stopped and we were able to go back up to the station we needed - on a regular train. Once there, we got off and made it up to Kyoto station without any further delays beyond the massive annoyance the express caused.
We retrieved our backpacks and asked information if there was somewhere "cheap to stay." The guy thinks for a moment and gets out a youth hostel brochure, and tells us its just down the street we took earlier to get to the bridge. In fact, we had already seen and passed and commented on the building. And it was only 2,500 yen a night! We got down there and asked for four rooms. The young woman behind the counter looked at us and asked if we had a reservation, to which we replied no. She hmmed, since she spoke perfect English and looked in her system. She said there weren't any rooms and she was really sorry. She did look upset about it, and when I told everyone, we kinda laughed and she asked if we would like her to look up something else for us.
I turned around, smiled and said that would be really helpful. At this point, a young Australian guy came downstairs and started talking to everyone about Gion, the star festival (there was no real 'festival'), and how he lost his sunglasses on the bus. The girl, meanwhile, was talking with me, and I was making jokes about how lost and without a place to stay we were, and she looks at me and asks how cheap I wanted it. I said, "Cheap." She laughs, goes back to the computer, and says, "Here's somewhere. It's called the Toji-an. It's about 15 minutes away by foot and is 2,000 yen a night." I say that's perfect, and she offers to draw a map. She explains all the streets to look for and how to know we've gone too far. She must have really liked us. Or me. I have that affect on women.
All jokes aside, we set out in high spirits, backpacks and all. We walked and walked and walked, crossing a bridge over a street and after about 12 minutes everyone started getting nervous. I said that we were looking for such-and-such street, next to a giant pagoda called "Toji". We finally found the pagoda, and started to go up the street. Our instructions were to go up the street until the first little inlet street before the parking lot. Well, we get to the parking lot and turn left into a...parking lot. At this we were confused, and after some wandering, we walk over to a koban (local police box) and I asked for directions. Obviously excited to speak Japanese with a foreigner, the man spoke very quickly and said to keep going up the street, it will be on your left. We thank him and follow his advice, going up. Well, we take the first left through a neighborhood, and after about 10 minutes of aimless wandering, we head back to the main road. We must have been misled. We walk back towards the koban, stop, and turn around. We go up past the street we turned at, and, lo and behold, it's right there on the SECOND left. We went over to it, as it was labeled with a cheap paper lantern with "Toji-an" scrawled on it. Good sign.
We went inside to a minuscule reception area. Looking around, we take off our shoes and the innkeeper comes out, saying he got a call about us (the girl called him to make sure he had room before we left) and that he would check us in. He was a very friendly guy who spoke some English. I sit down across from him on a tatami to talk about the rooms, he says 2,000 yen unless we want breakfast, which is 300 yen extra. 300 yen for breakfast? HELLS YEAH. Then he explains breakfast. Imagine, if you will, the most hilarious accent on English possible...with a Japanese accent.
"Breakfast is 8 o'crock to 9 thirty. Breakfast is eggs, toast and JAM."
JAM(Jawm)?, we all think to ourselves. Why the hell is he so excited about JAM?
"Is there a time we must be back by?"
"No. Quiet time is from 12:30. 9:30 to 12 is FREE BEER TIME."
"Uh...we're 18."
"Is FREE."
"We're 18."
"IS FREE."
"Ohhh...kay...."
With this, we go upstairs, though a narrow and obviously old tatami room with a bunch of Japanese guys taking part in the ritual known as FREE BEER TIME. We go upstairs, lay down our stuff, and he explains the place, while tying cloth around a sack of plastic beans. This was meant to be a pillow. There was nowhere to take a shower. Toilet was downstairs. Two sinks are also downstairs. We can leave our stuff in the rooms. Check out is at 10 am. I then begin to converse with this odd fellow, telling him what our plans were and who spoke Japanese. I, being casual, referred to Andy, but did so so as to call him "This asshole," which both the innkeeper and I thought was pretty funny. Andy, however, did not so much.
Let me take a moment to describe the interior of the Toji-an. This place was dilapidated. Boards were nailed to the walls. Everything was about 15 years old and not well taken care of. The western-style toilet, the latest addition, looked out at the roof of the old toilet, and had been covered up by some plywood for privacy. I could see the sky while taking a leak. Everything was narrow, we had to wash our own plates in a kitchen that was maybe 4 feet wide, and there was no room for anything. The beds were so thin they weren't there. The bed frames were so old that they had created 1-inch dents in the tatami mat, and squeaked horribly if any slight movement was made near them. I managed to find a bug in my sheets, which I thought was kinda funny, since it was so stereotypical. Our room was up a flight of stairs that ran at about an 85 degree angle. Andy broke one of the steps on his way down (they were really weak) and the guy said it was fine. I mean, what did he care for appearances at this point? This place was most likely about to be condemned, but we loved it anyway, because Kyoto would have been so boring without it.
Anyway, we left the Toji-an and all its weirdness, and headed back to Gion. The innkeeper said to take the #42 bus, so we hopped on it, and after a great deal of riding time, I began to think that we were there until finally, I convinced everyone that we were and we got off. Well, we weren't. It wasn't a bad part of town, it was just dull. All the shops had closed. It was well lit and there were lanterns everywhere, so we figured Gion was close and headed off in the right direction. After a little while, we got tired and decided to stop, and oh yeah, EAT DINNER. We found this place called Asian Cafe or something. It looked like a chain for young people, so we went upstairs and were seated by a very energetic staff. We looked at the menu, which was pretty decent, and everyone settled on their own meal. Andy didn't get much, but all the dishes were good. Our waitress, as Colin and Marcus put it, had the world's best lips. I didn't quite understand, but she was cute. Anyway, we also ordered drinks. We figured that since the Toji-an guy didn't care, neither would these people. Colin ordered an Asahi beer, and Marcus and I ordered off the special drinks menu, both things that we thought looked good, but had never heard of.
When the drinks arrived, we discovered we had ordered girl drinks. This was obviously a test of our masculinity. We set upon the bright green, flower-adorned drinks with timid fury, testing the waters before inhaling it like an animal. But, before we could drink any, they came by, saying that the drinks were wrong, which, we already knew, they were. Mine had a PURPLE flower, dammit. They bring what I can only assume to be the proper drinks, Marcus's being this weird, glowing green liquid on the rocks, mine look exactly the same but with no flower. It was bitter and terrible, while the first had been sweet and refreshing. Either way, we consumed them and were on our way. But not before asking the waitress how to get to Gion.
She told us that it was down the street a ways, and she drew me a map, just like the last lady. What the hell is up with this practice? They all had this flirtatious look when they handed me the maps, including the first lady. The hell? Your house isn't on it, what are you trying to say? Apparently, they liked me. Anyway, when we saw how far it was, we decided to wander for a bit and head back. We found the 42 and rode it back to the Toji-an, where we asked where we could bathe, since there was no shower. He said that we could go to either one of the local public baths and that he would refund us all but 1 dollar.
We left the Toji-an with our towels provided by him from a large plastic tub (ew), and followed his directions to one of the public baths. Andy had gone ahead, as he wanted to bathe and go to sleep quickly, while the rest of us lounged for a bit. We left, went up the road and turned left, following what looked like the Colfax Avenue of Kyoto down a bit, and say the fabled bath. Hey, it was closed for the non-existant holiday. So, we turned towards the other. Walking along, we encountered Andy, who was a bit lost, and together we managed to find it (he had just missed it). We went in, being instructed on how to bathe and general etiquette. Andy stepped onto the raised area with his shoes, earning a short rebuke, but otherwise we were fine. We bathed, and on our way out we met a young man who obviously wanted to practice his English a bit, but we weren't in any mood (Long day of walking and starving doesn't make you want to converse much), so we politely nodded and made our way out. Before we left, however, the cleaning lady gave him one hell of a lecture.
He came in and put his shoes where he stepped up onto the raised area of the floor. This sparked the cleaning ladies temper and she told him to put his shoes in the lockers, because it made that spot dirty and then she had to clean it and if people would just put their shoes in the locker it would save her so much trouble and she would use fewer supplies and wouldn't have to scold people all the time. He sheepishly lockered his shoes. She then said some stuff about foreigners not getting it either, which made me laugh, making her realize that I understood her. She grunted a snicker and we left.
On our way back to the Toji-an (I'm ALMOST done, I swear), we encountered a porn house/strip club. We stared in amazement at its proximity to the inn. We then decided that we should not let the opportunity go to waste and immediately took a picture in front of the billboard covered with naked women and then the times it was open. They were as hilarious as the building itself. The strip club was open at 10 AM, and remained so until 11 PM. It was about midnight by this time, so it was CLOSED. A strip club closing at 11 PM? Who spends the DAY in a strip club? What kind of country had we come to?
We departed from it, laughing hysterically. We made it back to the Toji-an after running across the four-lane road, went upstairs and got into bed. However, no sooner had we gotten under the covers than the FREE BEER TIME enjoying guests of the neighboring room came up, yammering about loudly while we tried to sleep. After about 15 minutes of their shouting, Andy got fed up and asked me how to say, "Please be quiet, I cannot sleep," so I taught him, and he went into the next room. This room, by the way, was separated from us by only a paper shoji. That's not seperation. That's a piece of paper between rooms, so we heard EVERYTHING. Andy tried to tell them, but being tired, forgot the words and half pantomimed and half spoke his troubles until they got it. He went back to bed, they were loud for about another minute, and that was that. We all slept like rocks.