There were no secrets i believed it........
Right now there is a work study doing work for me!!! Crazy to know I have someone doing a job for the work i'm doing.
Life lately has been.. stagnant? At the wedding last week, I kind of felt out of place. I mean I felt comfortable being me, but I felt out of place with my peers.... I do not live in NY anymore, I live in a whole new place... which is rocking... i'm just out of that life and crowd. So many people came up and asked me when I was going back to school after the wedding, and I had to explain to all of them that I'm not because i already graduated... I moved out of NY.... it's the past. Seriously I can't believe its done and over... it's all been a big dream. All those friends which I barely talk to now, the lifestyle, the late nights, the intense focus as you maneuver through the streets... it doesn't exist here... I have goals and dreams and i'm working towards them and it felt weird to have my first grade teacher come up to me and ask me where I was now and where I was going.... I had a clue... and all my friends are just starting out. How did I get here?
I feel like I am totally supposed to be here.. the smoothness to which i made this transition is incredible. it just happened and I fell into anything. One of the other interns said to me today she was amazed that i just setteled in and that i seem to hve what to do and a social life, and I'm not really having any adjusting problems. I dont know. I never quite thought about it. i just go through my motions. G-d has his plans and that's what happens, so I live everyday according to his plans and I don't think much about it, and the days pass here. It's like I can't mess up here really because anything goes.. and when I think I may be slacking, I'm apparently doing ok and more than enough.
At NYU I was told I never did enough and didn't put enough effort into what I was doing... and here I'm apparently overmotivated... this just makes me think I'm fine and doing fine...
I have so much to do here, i'm never bored... whether it's knowing i need to cook dinner, or have fencing practice... it's something... and time drips away, and i still haven't gotten over the beauty of this place.
I made friends too here... which also just kinda happened... I feel like meeting Larry and Barak was inevitable, but it's nice to know Esther was catalus.. because it means that I have other people close to me involved, and it was awesome to introduce them to eachother this weekend. it's nice to know they're around, and that they are people i can get along with so well... And then there's Molly... my wheat free buddy... and the other chabad attached girl. We seem to have such different life styles and are awful at following through plans with eachother... yet we can call eachother 5 times a day about the most random thing, and at the end of the day we happen to feel the same way about things and have a lot we can relate on in a way... besides... i eat so well on shabbos now.
Anyway, I'm totally starting anew now... relieving myself of all the stress and trauma that fell on top of me, and letting the me inside emerge
Life lately has been.. stagnant? At the wedding last week, I kind of felt out of place. I mean I felt comfortable being me, but I felt out of place with my peers.... I do not live in NY anymore, I live in a whole new place... which is rocking... i'm just out of that life and crowd. So many people came up and asked me when I was going back to school after the wedding, and I had to explain to all of them that I'm not because i already graduated... I moved out of NY.... it's the past. Seriously I can't believe its done and over... it's all been a big dream. All those friends which I barely talk to now, the lifestyle, the late nights, the intense focus as you maneuver through the streets... it doesn't exist here... I have goals and dreams and i'm working towards them and it felt weird to have my first grade teacher come up to me and ask me where I was now and where I was going.... I had a clue... and all my friends are just starting out. How did I get here?
I feel like I am totally supposed to be here.. the smoothness to which i made this transition is incredible. it just happened and I fell into anything. One of the other interns said to me today she was amazed that i just setteled in and that i seem to hve what to do and a social life, and I'm not really having any adjusting problems. I dont know. I never quite thought about it. i just go through my motions. G-d has his plans and that's what happens, so I live everyday according to his plans and I don't think much about it, and the days pass here. It's like I can't mess up here really because anything goes.. and when I think I may be slacking, I'm apparently doing ok and more than enough.
At NYU I was told I never did enough and didn't put enough effort into what I was doing... and here I'm apparently overmotivated... this just makes me think I'm fine and doing fine...
I have so much to do here, i'm never bored... whether it's knowing i need to cook dinner, or have fencing practice... it's something... and time drips away, and i still haven't gotten over the beauty of this place.
I made friends too here... which also just kinda happened... I feel like meeting Larry and Barak was inevitable, but it's nice to know Esther was catalus.. because it means that I have other people close to me involved, and it was awesome to introduce them to eachother this weekend. it's nice to know they're around, and that they are people i can get along with so well... And then there's Molly... my wheat free buddy... and the other chabad attached girl. We seem to have such different life styles and are awful at following through plans with eachother... yet we can call eachother 5 times a day about the most random thing, and at the end of the day we happen to feel the same way about things and have a lot we can relate on in a way... besides... i eat so well on shabbos now.
Anyway, I'm totally starting anew now... relieving myself of all the stress and trauma that fell on top of me, and letting the me inside emerge