as we near the end
It's not quite the end of the line yet, but recent events have inspired me to comment a bit and take my turn in the spotlight.
I've made very painful realizations, and learned a few painful lessons in the last year. The last year has been a big eye-opener about how people are, and how people will always be. When I say people, I do not mean my current friends. I simply mean people in general, personality types if you will, that I will encounter for my entire life.
There is the eternal optimist, in very high demand but with little find in the world today. Hardly anyone has remained an optimist throughout the summer, and those that are optimists now are only optimists after having given up on everything else and have become contented with the promise of a new life.
There are the pessimists, contented in their own views of life, unchangeable. They are those with which we must shake hands and depart, for there is no use expending energy on trying to breach their shell. They often bring the most drama, by shutting everyone out. This causes a lot of knocking on doors and shouts for someone to answer.
There are those who are in between, those who have tried both routes. They are the end result of the failed optimist, and posess both good and bad qualities. They are still able to be redeemed or convinced, but it takes a lot of effort on both sides to make it happen. If even one side fails and gives in, the entire attempt is foiled.
There are the victims and the martyrs, who point fingers and who probably suppose that people are pointing them right now.
There are the spiteful, who have seen their lot in life as something to be angry with. They lash out without always meaning it, but they lash out and hurt nonetheless.
There are the unfair lovers, who have narrowed their scope of love to only those which have captured their heart.
And there are those who forget. They wipe their memories clean every night, and forget the previous day's, month's, year's events. They forget how people once were, and focus mainly on the present. This is both an asset, and a hindrance. The asset is that this method allows you a lot more peace of mind. Forgetting how people once were lets you focus on the present, and thus makes things a lot simpler because you are only dealing with one period of time. If they are assholes in the present, they are assholes. There isn't any "they were once nice," statement...there is just the present.
These people also have a tendency to hurt themselves, however, for they grant few second chances. They refuse to remember how things were or still could be. They write many off whom they could still have. But too many chances, with the wrong people, is also not a good thing.
It takes perfect balance in a person to maintain friends, old and new. Only those friends who have had continual effort from both sides, for the entire time, unwaivering faith, will continue as friends and won't be parted.
Thankyou to all of those who have done that for me. Thankyou also to the rest, because you have taught me valuable lessons in taking away something.
I am not bitter, not angry, nor excited really. I don't like saying goodbyes, and I horrible with tears. I don't look forward to our last hurrahs. They bring about a sense of awkwardness in farewell and draw out emotions that I would rather let lay dorment. I wish I could watch from inside a great, giant, impenetrable bubble at the final hurrahs, so that no one would touch me, talk to me, or try to make last minute amends. I want to just let things go, but it is never that simple.
I may add more later, but for now this is how I feel. Take it or leave it.
I've made very painful realizations, and learned a few painful lessons in the last year. The last year has been a big eye-opener about how people are, and how people will always be. When I say people, I do not mean my current friends. I simply mean people in general, personality types if you will, that I will encounter for my entire life.
There is the eternal optimist, in very high demand but with little find in the world today. Hardly anyone has remained an optimist throughout the summer, and those that are optimists now are only optimists after having given up on everything else and have become contented with the promise of a new life.
There are the pessimists, contented in their own views of life, unchangeable. They are those with which we must shake hands and depart, for there is no use expending energy on trying to breach their shell. They often bring the most drama, by shutting everyone out. This causes a lot of knocking on doors and shouts for someone to answer.
There are those who are in between, those who have tried both routes. They are the end result of the failed optimist, and posess both good and bad qualities. They are still able to be redeemed or convinced, but it takes a lot of effort on both sides to make it happen. If even one side fails and gives in, the entire attempt is foiled.
There are the victims and the martyrs, who point fingers and who probably suppose that people are pointing them right now.
There are the spiteful, who have seen their lot in life as something to be angry with. They lash out without always meaning it, but they lash out and hurt nonetheless.
There are the unfair lovers, who have narrowed their scope of love to only those which have captured their heart.
And there are those who forget. They wipe their memories clean every night, and forget the previous day's, month's, year's events. They forget how people once were, and focus mainly on the present. This is both an asset, and a hindrance. The asset is that this method allows you a lot more peace of mind. Forgetting how people once were lets you focus on the present, and thus makes things a lot simpler because you are only dealing with one period of time. If they are assholes in the present, they are assholes. There isn't any "they were once nice," statement...there is just the present.
These people also have a tendency to hurt themselves, however, for they grant few second chances. They refuse to remember how things were or still could be. They write many off whom they could still have. But too many chances, with the wrong people, is also not a good thing.
It takes perfect balance in a person to maintain friends, old and new. Only those friends who have had continual effort from both sides, for the entire time, unwaivering faith, will continue as friends and won't be parted.
Thankyou to all of those who have done that for me. Thankyou also to the rest, because you have taught me valuable lessons in taking away something.
I am not bitter, not angry, nor excited really. I don't like saying goodbyes, and I horrible with tears. I don't look forward to our last hurrahs. They bring about a sense of awkwardness in farewell and draw out emotions that I would rather let lay dorment. I wish I could watch from inside a great, giant, impenetrable bubble at the final hurrahs, so that no one would touch me, talk to me, or try to make last minute amends. I want to just let things go, but it is never that simple.
I may add more later, but for now this is how I feel. Take it or leave it.