(no subject)
So ol' el jay. time to update you. you know what really ticks me off? when you accidentally do something, you apologize try to make everything ok and then the "victim" of the accident just holds it over your head and says little remarks just to make you feel bad. i feel bad enough on my own i dont need the help of someone who is supposed to be my bestfriend. i dont hold several things shes done to me over her head so why does she do it to me. She cant give me back the hour i spent all alone at Trey's house while she ditched me for him. She can't give me back the night i spent all alone at her house when she got trashed and ditched me. She can't finish all the sentences i was in the middle of when she interupts me constantly. She wonders why Shawn and Keith hate her. I used to wonder too. But now i definately have an idea why. When Trey called her a bunch of mean things and hurt her feelings i was there to support her against him. She forgave him but i never did. I don't really have the motivation to support her anymore. She digs herself into holes and i used to help her out. Everytime something happens to me that requires a friend to talk to, i thought i could turn to her but she never really sounds like she cares. The other night when i was totally crushed and heartbroken she didnt even care. She just talked shit about him, which really pissed me off. i was expecting more of an understanding reaction not a totally biased "i hate him" attitude that didnt help anything. pssh she didnt even say those things on my behalf she said them because shes been dying to say them for a while. oh well, maybe i'll give her yet another chance, i know i did the wrong here today, but she should learn that forgiveness thing jesus is always talking about. and how not to make your friends feel bad. a real friend wouldnt try to make me feel bad. If this were switched around today, i know i wouldnt act like she did, i have more understanding towards friends who do me wrong, look how many times i've forgiven her for hurting me. but whatever, if this is how its going to be then this is how its going to be.
~Jess
~Jess