a long awaited post
starting to hang out that past few weeks has been good. i came to some realizations recently and one of them is that all the people that i missed hanging out with were essential pieces that made me who i am. not being with people and pretty much going into a shell turned me into someone that i didn't like and couldn't stand and it was rough. so this right here is an apology first to the few that read this and then later to those who won't, i am sorry for putting myself before all of you. you all are important parts of my life and i don't want to be without any of you.
i know now that the importance in life is surrounding yourself with people and objects that are able to help you see the beauty and the truth of the world. that is what life is about and not the petty stuff like holding grudges or being upset when things don't go your way. in the end i think that true happiness is an ideal that we may actually never reach but i also think we can come pretty close to it. i know there are always going to be memories and times ahead that will get me down and i am not yet sure how one would deal with that but maybe that's for someone else to find out. just look for the good in those memories and find the good in events that hit you in the future, i guess.
school right now is a going well for me. i am enjoying my classes and the people around me and am glad to be ending high school on a good note. well at least as good as i can make it. i am taking classes on subjects that interest me and i am glad to be doing so. to be honest like most seniors in their final semester i am ready to just get out of there. pretty much right after i get my diploma i am going to go. i got into a school in australia and am heading down there probably in june. i am excited, nervous, scared and i know that it is going to be a tough transition. i think when the time comes though i will be ready. i still do not know what i want to do with my life and i know i am going to have to make a decision within the coming years. there is so much i want to aspire to i'm not sure how or where i will end up. i know when i do move down to australia this summer i am going to have so many emotions running through me it is going to be ridiculous. before that though i am having trouble deciding whether or not i will actually walk at graduation. on one hand my parents want me to and it is supposed to be the actual "transition" but on the other hand it means absolutely nothing to me. i don't think i would be sad about not walking because in truth i don't want anything to do with that school now or down the road. i just want to take these classes and get out, i probably sound shitty saying that but this school is really fucking terrible. i still wonder sometimes how shit would have worked out if i stayed at gview. i think my work ethic would've been the same but i probably wouldn't have been in as much trouble for retarded stuff at grandview. either way i shouldn't even worry about that because i am almost done and i am ready to get out. the way i see it is that things kind of worked out a little backwards for me. i was ready to get out of high school as soon as it started and failed at least one class a semester until junior year. then i started to turn shit around and actually try. i am glad i was able to make that change before it was too late otherwise i think i would have ended up living pretty shitty. i think the best times in high school are going to be the ones i forget and the worst times are the ones i will always remember and that isn't how i want it to be. i didn't make to many good memories in school so i want to start making each memory a good one and be able to look back at these times and remember the good. i am ready to go to a university though and i can't wait until that day comes.
i wish everybody luck in that they find what they want out of life and hopefully are able to surround themselves with people and objects that will allow them to see the beauty and the truth of the world.
take care
i know now that the importance in life is surrounding yourself with people and objects that are able to help you see the beauty and the truth of the world. that is what life is about and not the petty stuff like holding grudges or being upset when things don't go your way. in the end i think that true happiness is an ideal that we may actually never reach but i also think we can come pretty close to it. i know there are always going to be memories and times ahead that will get me down and i am not yet sure how one would deal with that but maybe that's for someone else to find out. just look for the good in those memories and find the good in events that hit you in the future, i guess.
school right now is a going well for me. i am enjoying my classes and the people around me and am glad to be ending high school on a good note. well at least as good as i can make it. i am taking classes on subjects that interest me and i am glad to be doing so. to be honest like most seniors in their final semester i am ready to just get out of there. pretty much right after i get my diploma i am going to go. i got into a school in australia and am heading down there probably in june. i am excited, nervous, scared and i know that it is going to be a tough transition. i think when the time comes though i will be ready. i still do not know what i want to do with my life and i know i am going to have to make a decision within the coming years. there is so much i want to aspire to i'm not sure how or where i will end up. i know when i do move down to australia this summer i am going to have so many emotions running through me it is going to be ridiculous. before that though i am having trouble deciding whether or not i will actually walk at graduation. on one hand my parents want me to and it is supposed to be the actual "transition" but on the other hand it means absolutely nothing to me. i don't think i would be sad about not walking because in truth i don't want anything to do with that school now or down the road. i just want to take these classes and get out, i probably sound shitty saying that but this school is really fucking terrible. i still wonder sometimes how shit would have worked out if i stayed at gview. i think my work ethic would've been the same but i probably wouldn't have been in as much trouble for retarded stuff at grandview. either way i shouldn't even worry about that because i am almost done and i am ready to get out. the way i see it is that things kind of worked out a little backwards for me. i was ready to get out of high school as soon as it started and failed at least one class a semester until junior year. then i started to turn shit around and actually try. i am glad i was able to make that change before it was too late otherwise i think i would have ended up living pretty shitty. i think the best times in high school are going to be the ones i forget and the worst times are the ones i will always remember and that isn't how i want it to be. i didn't make to many good memories in school so i want to start making each memory a good one and be able to look back at these times and remember the good. i am ready to go to a university though and i can't wait until that day comes.
i wish everybody luck in that they find what they want out of life and hopefully are able to surround themselves with people and objects that will allow them to see the beauty and the truth of the world.
take care