IAR 28
It’s All Relative 28
Author: hawkbehere (hawkbehere2@yahoo.com)
Rated: R for cursing and a warning up for violence-but NO sexual violence.
Summary: A little excitement for a change.
A/N: Love and bouquets of thanks to Rosemary for the once over and for saving my sanity on a daily basis, which is no mean feat. All mistakes in this chapter are mine. A loving hello to law_nerd and xenavirgin. Love and thanks to Jessica. And as always, love to my darling Martha and to Z Mercurychkita.
***
What now, Andy thought as she watched her phone winking and blinking at her. Real business? Or one of the hundreds of people wanting more information about her relationship with Miranda? She nearly laughed as she suddenly realized she probably needed an assistant at this point.
“Mirror. Sachs.”
As she listened, it was neither business or gossip. It was Caroline’s principal. She listened. Oh shit.
***
One Hour Earlier
Juan Carlo was laughing and sitting on top of a picnic bench in the schoolyard. “You call me Juan Carlo and J.C. and Jace-which is it?”
Cassidy looked him over. “You sort of look like different names at different times.”
“Yeah, dude.” Caroline agreed as she finished a juice box, “Just be glad you only have a few names and there aren’t two of you like with us.” With that, she pulled Cassidy to her and kissed her on the cheek, something she very rarely did, much less at school. It made her sister blush.
“There aren’t two of you. You’re really different.”
“Good answer Jace.” Caroline tapped her sister’s cheek, “I’m the embarrassing one.”
“You could never embarrass me, Caroline.”
Caroline smirked and said, “I just did, big sister, and gimme a few years. You won’t want to know me.”
Cassidy kissed Caroline on her cheek. “Never happen.”
They were all grinning at each other when they heard, “Hey, Castillo?”
They turned toward a voice belonging to someone they all loathed. Toby Kadinsky.
“What?”
“Can you swim?”
Juan Carlo paused before he answered, “Yes.”
What Toby said next shocked him. What Caroline did next shocked him even more. He didn’t have a second to think before the girl had punched Toby so hard that he’d fallen to the ground. She leaped on him and was beating the boy soundly before he and Cassidy had the presence of mind to pull her off of him, leaving him bleeding and crying.
They struggled to handle her nearly unsuccessfully as she shouted, “Oh yeah! That’s it! Cry BITCH. You talk to my brother like that again and you’ll get more of the same, motherfucker! But if you talk to my sister? My sister? You’ll never walk again, you lousy piece of-“
Cassidy clapped her hand over Caroline’s mouth as she watched a teacher hastening toward them.
***
Miranda felt a surge of irritation as she looked at her cell. She’d told Andy this would be a murderous day for her. For Andy, however, and unlike for her two husbands she did pick up. “Yes?”
“We have to go to school now.”
“I’m sure that sentence has meaning somewhere.”
“Caroline is in the principal’s office. She’s assaulted a classmate and we need to get to the fucking school now.”
“What? Caroline assaulted-what? The principal’s office called you first?”
“Yes. Hello? I’m a contact for our children and I assume they’d think they could get through to me and I’d actually come.”
There was a pause before Miranda said in a decidedly cooler tone, “I need no reminders of my maternal deficiencies, Andrea. I keep them tucked away in my heart and you know it.”
Andy’s voice immediately softened. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just…it’s Caroline and she’s going to be suspended and she’s probably angry and really scared.”
“Suspended? We’ll see. I’ll push everything back. Roy and I will pick you up in 15 minutes.”
“Thanks.”
“For being a mother? I am, you know. Their mother.”
“Jesus. Sorry again. Please come get me. I’ll feel better once I see you.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
As Miranda rang off, she realized Andy was having her own first true maternal crisis, which actually warmed her heart. “Emily?”
***
Caroline’s arms were crossed over her chest and she was silent, glaring daggers at everything, Ms. Jenkin’s secretary Sylvia, Sylvia’s desk, even the carpet. Cassidy and Juan Carlo were waiting with her and Cassidy had decided this must be because they were…what had she heard on TV? Yeah. Material witnesses. Toby had gotten back from a trip to the school nurse, and his lip looked a little better now that it wasn’t bleeding. It was a fat lip, though, and Cassidy could see he was going to have a black eye.
His mother opened the door and rushed to his side. The twins knew Sheila Kadinsky and hated her just as much as they hated her son. Hated her as much as their mom did, which was really saying something. The only worthwhile thing the woman had ever done in their opinions was to knock their mother off the radar during the Stephen divorce when her husband, Tobias Sr., had gotten the book thrown at him for embezzlement.
As Sheila cooed over her son, Cassidy glanced at Caroline.
“She won’t come,” Caroline whispered.
“She will,” Cassidy hissed.
“Oh, right. Who? Andy?”
Cassidy wasn’t stupid enough to even try to lie. “Maybe. Or Mom. One of them.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes you do.”
Juan Carlo was nearly beside himself with worry, having never had reason to be sitting in a principal’s office for something he’d done or waiting for what was very bad trouble for a friend. He saw that Caroline wasn’t in the mood to take sympathy or consideration, so he took Cassidy’s hand and whispered, “It will be fine. You’ll see. I will call my papi if we need to.”
Cassidy squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “Thanks, Jace.”
At that moment, the door swung open again, with Andy following a Miranda in full battle mode. The twins and Juan Carlo brightened visibly. Miranda nodded at them and acknowledged the others in the room as they took seats, “Sheila, Tobias, Jr.”
Miranda turned toward the desk and astonished Andy by not even pretending not to know a name, “Sylvia, isn’t it?”
The young pretty blonde sank into herself, actually quailing before saying, “Yes, Ms. Priestly.”
“I suppose we could begin? Surely Avery has other things on her schedule. I know I do. She called this meeting. I assume she’s ready for it.”
“Yes, Ms. Priestly. It may be a few minutes, actually. Ms. Jenkins is on a very important call.”
“Oh, I’m sure she is, if that something involves me. The sooner the few minutes pass, however, the better for all of us Sylvia.”
As Sylvia nodded and left the room to announce them, Sheila said very quietly, “I see you’re still the self-involved bitch, Miranda.”
Miranda answered even more quietly. “There are children in the room, Sheila. Or hadn’t you noticed?”
“Like they haven’t heard that particular word, being your children.”
Juan Carlo jumped to his feet and said with the considerable fire of his father, “With respect, you must not talk to Ms. Miranda or any woman in this way in my presence.”
Shelia looked at the earnest little boy with disdainful amusement and turned to Miranda, “And who’s this? Your maid’s son?”
“Oh, hell no. That’s it!” Caroline leaped up as Juan Carlo and Cassidy grabbed her again and Andy scrambled to help.
Miranda stood and said sharply, “Children. Andrea. Everyone please be seated and calm down.” And oddly enough or perhaps not, everyone in her family immediately did.
“To answer your question, Sheila, Juan Carlo is the son of two of my best friends in this world. For all intents and purposes, my interest in his welfare is exactly that I’d have toward a son. In that sense, you have just cast an implied aspersion upon my son’s ethnicity. But let’s table that for the time being until we deal with the altercation between,” she made a cursory look around the room until her eyes landed upon, “I’d imagine Tobias, Jr. who does look a bit the worse for wear and my daughter, who looks curiously unscathed. Frankly shocking considering the fact that Tobias, Jr. is such a big, strapping boy.”
The boy in question who was quite a bit taller and heavier than the other children in the room had, along with his mother, turned bright red with mortification but they both stared at Miranda with pure hatred. She smiled down at Toby. “My, my. What baleful eyes you have, Tobias Jr. Of course, I know you prefer to be called Toby but your name does so remind me of your dear father, who knows quite a bit about bail, doesn’t he? Or lack thereof?”
Andy, who’d been listening to this in a sort of sinking horror, stepped up and put her hand on Miranda’s arm, whispering “That’s enough. He’s a child.”
Miranda patted Andy’s hand as she looked into Sheila’s eyes and said, quietly, “Quite right. So I’ll keep my thoughts to myself and you’ll keep yours to yourself. I’m sure you’ll agree, Sheila. Because to be perfectly honest...” She looked Toby over, “If you ask for it and I have every belief your son must have as you are even now, we Priestlys will always throw a harder punch. I mean that completely figuratively of course. Do we understand each other?”
Sheila forced a swallow and nodded as Toby looked around the room. The woman with that bitch Miranda looked really concerned and even Juan Carlo looked upset. Two sets of anxious brown eyes. The blue eyes of the Priestlys were different than the brown yet they were all the same. Fierce and gloating.
Sylvia opened the door, “Ms. Jenkins will see you now.”
“How kind of her,” Miranda said as she led the way into the woman’s office. Andy fought the urge to roll her eyes. This was going to be one hell of a run through and it was actually Andy who helped Sylvia bring enough chairs into the office so that everyone could sit down. Why not and what the hell she thought. Once an assistant, always…
As they all took their seats, Miranda said with what Andy considered her Runway smile, “Avery, always a pleasure to see you but a pity considering the circumstances. We’ve all met each other so shall we skip the social niceties and get to said circumstances?”
Avery Jenkins was in her late 40s and had been doing her job long enough to be quite used to the wealthy parents of children attending her school attempting to bully her. Miranda Priestly was, oddly enough, not of that class. Miranda was a shark. Powerful, graceful and completely intent on what she wanted, not on what or who didn’t matter. She couldn’t be bothered to hurt things she did not need to. A shark but never a bully. Avery found sharks refreshing.
“Hello, again Miranda. Sheila. Andy.” Avery smiled at all of them, including the children before saying, “First of all, let’s establish one thing. We have a zero tolerance policy for violence at this school. Caroline has assaulted Toby with many witnesses and you can see that he’s been injured.”
“Indeed I can,” Miranda replied.
“I’ll sue you and your brat, Priestly,” Sheila suddenly interjected. Avery took a deep breath before Miranda answered calmly, “Please do. I’m sure it will do wonders for Tobias Jr. Please take pictures of him today and of my daughter. He’d love having the tabloids show the physical proof he was beaten by a little girl. And seriously, who could blame him? What young man wouldn’t?”
Andy sighed as Sheila sputtered and Toby hissed, “Mom! You can’t do that! That would suck so bad!”
Miranda merely smiled at Avery who almost…almost smiled back at her before continuing, “You can both discuss these sorts of things at your leisure. We’re here to discuss the ramifications of-“
Caroline piped up. “What do I have to say to get out of this boring meeting? Something like I beat him down like the complete wuss he is? I did it so suspend me already.”
Andy put her hand on Caroline’s arm and was actually a bit surprised that Caroline didn’t shrug it off.
Avery continued, “That certainly simplifies matters, Caroline.”
“Not for me,” Miranda replied. “I’d like to hear what precipitated this incident. Caroline has, in my memory, hit someone exactly once. Her father John and with her pacifier when she was six months old. Could you tell us what happened, sweetheart?”
Caroline looked at her Mom and mumbled, “No. I’d just rather get punished and be done with it.” Cassidy took her hand.
Before Miranda could say anything, Andy gently squeezed Caroline’s arm, “You can tell us, sweetie. We love you-just tell us.”
Caroline’s chin wobbled a bit. She was going to cry and she couldn’t stand that.
Juan Carlo saw it and he knew it and he stood up. “I will tell you what happened. Caroline and Cassidy and I were talking and Toby came up to us and asked if I could swim. I said I could and he laughed and said ‘That figures-you’re a wetback.’ And that is when Caroline hit him. She did it for me.”
And just like that, within seconds, the room chilled against the Kadinskys and Sheila knew it. “That’s all? That’s just a silly schoolyard taunt!”
“Yeah-and a really interesting one. Ms. Jenkins, do you have a zero tolerance policy on racial epithets?”
“As a matter of fact I do and a it's a very personal one, Andy. Caroline and Toby, you’re both suspended for three days. Your behavior was completely unacceptable.”
“But Ms. Jenkins-“
“Yes, Juan Carlo.”
“It’s just a stupid word a stupid person would use. I don’t care. I’m proud to have American parents born in Mexico. Can’t you just tell Caroline and Toby not to do it again? It’s very hard to know they both can’t come to school because of me.”
Miranda held up one hand to keep Avery from speaking and reached for Juan Carlo’s hand with the other. “Come here.”
He dutifully moved closer and she ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s not your fault. Yes, it was just a word and a very stupid one. But Caroline can’t hit people for words. And people cannot call you stupid words. Not those kinds of words. We all have to learn how to deal with people who try to hurt us. Do you think I ever hit people who hurt me?”
He shook his head solemnly, “No, Ms. Miranda. I know you would never.”
“You know people say many terrible things about me, don’t you?”
“Oh yes. I read them.”
“I don’t care. Just as you don’t care. Even when Shei…Ms. Kadinsky said something about you that was bad just a few minutes ago, you didn’t get upset. But you defended me when she called me something that was just a word. Didn’t you?”
He looked down at the ground, “Yes. But that is my duty as a man.”
She refused to smile at this, “Exactly. It’s our duty as family to protect each other but we have to learn the best ways to do that. You’re very young and you’ll learn more and better ways as you get older. Until then, let’s just agree that it’s not your fault, okay?”
“Yes, Ms. Miranda.”
“Very well.” She patted Juan Carlo on the shoulder as she said, “So we’re agreed on the terms, Avery, and this meeting is over.”
Avery nearly laughed, not even caring that the meeting had always been on the other woman’s terms, “Yes Miranda. Meeting adjourned. Three days for both Caroline and Toby. Do we understand each other, Sheila?”
“I understand you must be in this woman’s pocket.”
“If that’s what you’ve taken from this, you have an interesting and very personal universe. I’ll see you, Caroline and Toby, in three days. Thank you, everyone, for coming.”
As Sheila and Toby hastily left the office, Andy ruffled Caroline’s hair and said, “I guess you’re coming with us, jailbird.”
Caroline suddenly laughed and said, “I know right? Sucks to be me!” She quickly turned and kissed Cassidy on the cheek and play punched Juan Carlo. “Have a good rest of the day.”
Juan Carlo said very soberly, “Thank you for defending me as your brother.”
“You’ll always be my brother, Jace. Watch. You’ll see.”
***
Andy reflected, as Roy was turning on onto a street to drop them at a new restaurant, that it had taken nearly one month for the excitement over the cover, the billboard-all of it-to die down. Much longer than she had expected and which Miranda addressed in this way, “How could I know my appearance on a magazine cover would coincide with a shocking display of probity on the part of the usual suspects in tabloid fodder?”
How indeed, Andy supposed. It was nice to get out for a casual lunch, their first in weeks. It was a new restaurant and, because the chef was an important enough acquaintance that Miranda would consent to dine, he was not so important as to be able to cajole her into an opening night. They both knew he’d front-load his lunch bookings for the day with people who might be suitably impressed with her appearance.
Miranda was in a particularly foul mood and greeted Andy with a, “This is a miserable idea,” as she entered the car and then retreated into her Blackberry.
Andy sighed, then offered, “You know, we don’t have to go anywhere. We can get a burger in a drive-through somewhere.”
The older woman didn’t even look up. “Yes, why don’t we count the drive-throughs in Manhattan, Andrea.”
Andy rolled her eyes at Roy, who was looking at her with sympathy through the rearview.
“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean-a street vendor. Take-out. Whatever.”
“Yes, a hot dog with light mustard, hold the salmonella, extra botulism.”
“I’ve lived to tell the tale many a time.”
“Now that you mention it, you are remarkably pale, Andrea. Perhaps that’s the cause.”
Andy huffed, “Jesus! Fine! And why even bother inviting me if you’re going to be glued to your Crackberry?”
Miranda immediately put her phone in her purse. “There. Now. You have my complete attention. I’m sure you know I have absolutely nothing to do but go to lunch. Literally nothing. I’m surprised I even went into the building today.”
“You have two people to keep track of just how busy you are and yet YOU scheduled this lunch on this day at this time, so don’t take it out on me, buddy.”
There was a loaded silence. “Buddy? I see. I’m relegated to buddy status now?”
Andy actually was more than a bit miffed but she’d learned where to pick her battles. This wasn’t a battle. It was only a skirmish and one she didn’t have to continue. It had taken time and hadn’t been necessarily all that fun to learn the difference and to learn to deal. She slid over in the seat and took the woman’s hand in hers and put her head on her shoulder, “Of course not, sweetheart.”
Miranda snorted lightly but ran her thumb over Andy’s hand as she stared out the window.
Roy looked back at Andy and gave her a quick wink, which she returned.
***
“Good God,” Miranda whispered as they were following the host, who’d nearly genuflected at their appearance, toward their table.
“What? I think it’s sort of pretty.”
“You would.”
“Be nice.”
“I’m the soul of nicety.”
“Where? In hell?”
Andy was pleased to see the corners of Miranda’s mouth lift at this as they took their seats in a table in the middle of a packed room and the host raced away to get the chef. “Why not just raise a dais and put us on display?”
Even Andy couldn’t dispute the comment. Only that one touch could have made them more visible to everyone in the restaurant.
“Welcome to the dog and pony show,” Miranda whispered.
“Or fashion show for that matter.”
“Touché. I find you a bit testy today, Andrea.”
Andy’s mouth dropped open in consternation just as the chef and owner, Jeremy Benjamin, arrived at their table.
“Jeremy,” Miranda said as she accepted his air kisses, “I don’t believe you’ve met my fiancée, Andrea Sachs.”
He took her hand and murmured, “No, I haven’t. Obviously my loss,” before kissing it.
Not bad, Andy thought. A good-looking guy could get away with relatively mediocre lines and at that moment Christian popped into her mind. She smiled as she watched Miranda do something at which the woman was almost supernaturally accomplished if she chose to but rarely did, pretending to be interested in the numbingly mundane.
After Miranda assured him the restaurant was gorgeous and that, of course, their menu was entirely his choice, he sped back to the kitchen.
“You almost looked like you meant that, sweetheart.”
Miranda raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I did look like I meant that. I’m a master.”
“Which makes me the mistress?”
The older woman reached across the table and tapped the ring on her left hand, “You’ve had an upgrade.”
“Good answer.” Andy looked around the room again, “They certainly seem to be getting off to a good start.”
“Yes. They have us as a floor show today.”
Andy opened the menu and began to peruse it when she felt Miranda grabbing her wrist painfully tightly. She looked up at the woman whose eyes were suddenly extraordinarily wide as she hissed, “Get under the fucking table, Andy.”
Andy half laughed, half whispered, “What?”
“I said get under the fucking table right now! Do NOT come out!”
With that ferocious and ridiculous request, Andy realized her time at Runway had cemented some part of her autonomic reflexes because she immediately ducked under the table and could only see through her vantage point under the draping of the tablecloth that Miranda had stood.
Then she heard a general uproar, a few screams and Miranda’s voice cutting through it all.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see we have a bit of a situation. Please stay right where you are.”
Instead of a situation, the other patrons saw a wild-eyed young woman brandishing a gun at Miranda. As Miranda stepped forward, the woman halted 20 feet away before screaming, “Don’t move any closer you bitch!”
Miranda nodded, “Now that we’ve established you know me and that this is personal, Alicia, I’m going to remind you of something. No one else here has anything to do with this. They need to assume positions on the floor so they won’t be hurt. Is that amenable to you?”
Alicia appeared briefly stunned by this request and her hand shook as she shouted, “Everyone else on the floor!”
The patrons scrambled to comply and Andy felt like her heart would pound out of her chest as she watched, from under the table cloth, the faces of the few terrified people she could see assuming positions at her level on the floor.
“Thank you, Alicia Faye Bowden.” The shock on Alicia’s face made Miranda smile, “And of course I know and remember quite a bit about you. What can I do for you today?”
“You ruined my life!”
Miranda tilted her head. “Did I? How so?”
“I can’t get a job anywhere!”
“You exaggerate. If you cast your mind back, you asked with your behavior only that publishing be closed to you in New York. So I closed it. Cause. Effect. Or don’t you remember your part in this?”
Alicia stabbed her gun in the air as she screamed, “Shut up! Shut up! Your little bitch Andy’s not so high and mighty now is she? Hiding under a table behind an old woman? Get out here, Andy! Right this fucking second!”
Miranda’s voice was as calm as Andy had ever heard it. “Alicia. There are two things that won’t happen today. One. You’re not going to hurt Andrea. Not one hair on her head. Two. You’re not going to hurt anyone else in this restaurant.”
Alicia, who’d expected and wanted abject terror, was scarlet with fury, “You fucking BITCH! Fuck you and your fucking bullshit.”
“Well stated. Pulitzer Prize here you come. To continue, Alicia Faye Bowden. Three things actually may happen today and you can take your choice. One. You can put the gun down and end this farce but I suspect you’re too histrionic for that option. Case in point. You’re holding a roomful of people at gunpoint. Two. You can shoot yourself. I’d be all for it but you’re far too narcissistic or you would have already done that rather than this. Three. You can shoot me. If that’s your choice, I’d prefer you go ahead because I have a meeting with Zac Posen at four. And remember, I’ve been shot before and, frankly, by a woman wearing better shoes.”
Andy, who was shaking with horror, pounded the floor at this taunt even as she heard the abrupt bark of a gunshot. She was moving to clamber out during the shrieks that followed it when all sound was silenced by a roar from Miranda, “QUIET! NOBODY MOVE! ANDREA SACHS DO NOT MOVE!”
Although she barely flinched, the wound in Miranda’s left arm was curiously and bitingly more painful than her other experience of being shot. She watched in fascination for a few seconds as the blood blossomed quickly on the sleeve of her white shirt. She turned to Alicia, from whose suddenly incredibly pale face that blood could almost seem to have been originating. “I believe the technical term for this is ‘ouch’, Alicia.”
Alicia’s hand was shaking very badly now, “Are you even fucking HUMAN?”
Miranda shrugged, “Verdict’s out. Put the gun down. The police will come in now-and they will kill you if you have a gun. Put it down.”
Alicia faltered and Miranda said very quietly, “Put the gun on the table and live. Keep it and die. The choice is yours.”
Alicia put the gun on the table next to her and Miranda said, “Men? Someone? Please hold Ms. Bowden. No one touch that gun. Someone please tell New York’s finest they needn’t storm the place and for God’s sake keep your hands in the air while doing so. Until they do come in, personally, I’d stay on the floor.” As she watched a patron and server grab Alicia, she continued, “In fact, I think I’ll take a seat myself.”
As she sank into her chair, she said, “All clear, Andrea.”
Andy emerged with a reddened and tear-streaked face and looked at the woman bleeding before her, “Oh my God, Miranda.”
Miranda nodded, “Yes, yes. Very dramatic. I need you to apply pressure up here above this ridiculous wound.”
"Oh for God's sake," Andy summoned the presence of mind to call out,“ Hello! Help? Doctors in the house?”
One man leapt up and rushed forward. “John Franklin. Sorry. Not even thinking. I was texting my wife.”
He looked at the wound and said. “Okay-that looks like a fracture and it’s hit an artery.” He grabbed a napkin and clamped the woman’s arm above the wound far tighter than Andy would have dreamed of.
As police swarmed into the building, Franklin shouted, “Need a bus! Right now.”
One of the officers nodded, “Got a couple out here.”
“Good. Thank you, Dr. Franklin. Andrea, I believe our ride’s outside.”
“Miranda, they’ll bring in a stretcher.”
“For whom? Has someone fainted? Get my purse and give me my glasses. I can walk.”
“Ms. Priestly-you’re losing a lot of blood. You need to be horizontal and still.”
“Yes, Dr. Franklin. I can feel that. And I will be both once I walk out of here.”
Before he could say anything, Andy said, “No point in arguing.”
“Okay. But coming with you.”
“Fine.” Andy and Dr. Franklin helped her stand and as they passed a subdued and cuffed Alicia, Miranda paused.
“One word with the prisoner?” The policeman holding the young woman looked at Miranda and at her blood dripping on the floor and said, “Sure thing.”
Miranda leaned toward Alicia and whispered, “That was your one free shot. Approach my family again and prison will be the least of your worries. Look me in the eyes.” The woman hesitated but did. “I’ve warned you twice and you’ve done the wrong thing twice. And failed. Black balled first time. Prison second time. Your third strike? You will be out, Alicia Faye Bowden. And over. Even a person of your limited journalistic imagination might conjure up what I mean by that.”
Miranda put her sunglasses on before Andy and Dr. Franklin escorted her to the waiting ambulance. Despite still being overcome by fear and worry for Miranda, Andy couldn’t help but sigh as the paparazzi shouted at them. Another round of press.
Which reminded her of the kids and as Miranda situated herself on the stretcher, she said, “Yes. The children. Call Emily and Magdalena.”
***
“Andy? Where in bloody hell are you two? Roy is beside himself!”
As Emily listened, her legs gave way and she plopped down into her chair. “You have to be kidding me! Again?! Is she…oh my God…is she…”
“Em-c’mon-on the way to hospital here. But she’s shot in the arm, okay? We have a doctor with us. Should be fine.”
Oddly enough, the relief of that made Emily suddenly feel the desire to bang her head on her desk. “What do you need?”
“Call the school and call Maggie. Get her to the school to tell the kids. Tell them she’ll be fine. And push everything back. At least a week.”
Emily heard a muffled “Nonsense!” from Miranda but Andy reiterated. “At least a week.”
“Got it.”
“Thanks, Em.”
“Tell her I’m very…we’re all very concerned.”
“Will do.”
***
Susan Allen was laughing at a nurse’s joke, writing notes in a patient’s chart and scratching the back of her calf with the shoe on the other foot when something about a call from an ambulance en route she actually barely registered hearing brought her up sharp. A fifty-year old woman with a gunshot wound. Not all that uncommon, unfortunately. Which was why her colleague Jason was startled as she jostled him out of the way and grabbed the mike. “Patient’s name?”
“Repeat?”
“Patient. Name.”
“Copy that. Priestly.”
“Son of a bitch. She’s mine, Jason.”
“But, Susan, I’m-“
“Not treating her. I am..” She patted him on the arm as she looked at the board. They were fairly clear-everything under control and nothing pressing for the moment. “Trust me, Jason. You’ll thank me later.”
She announced, “VIP incoming, people.” She listened to the transmission from the ambulance and thanked God there was a doctor with Miranda so she could cut to the chase.
“Tell Vasquez to scrub and who do we have on vascular?”
“Combs.”
“Fine. Get his ass in the saddle too.”
As they rolled Miranda in, the only thing paler than the woman on the stretcher was Andy. “We meet again. You two are nothing but trouble. Siddown, Andy before you fall down. I’ve got her.” Andy nodded numbly as they wheeled Miranda away.
After Dr. Franklin relayed the latest before departing, Susan smiled down at Miranda through her face shield as she cut her blouse off, “Sorry about the duds, but a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.”
“It was time. Nearly last season.”
“Doctor Allen,” one of the nurses said.
“Yeah-I see. She needs volume, folks. Push it. Type her for protocol but I know she’s AB-. Let’s get that going.”
Miranda’s eyelashes fluttered, “You remember my blood type?”
“Rare bird-rare blood type. This may hurt, okay?”
“You mean it doesn’t yet?”
Dr. Allen had to admire Miranda’s fortitude as she inspected the wound, which had to be extremely painful.
“What does it look like, doctor?”
“One hell of a gunshot wound, Miranda. You know most policemen never get shot? Ever? What the hell are you doing out there?”
“Saving the world from bad fashion. A dangerous job, evidently.”
“No kidding. Well, luckily you had a doctor onboard so I’ve got everything I need. You’re off to x-ray and then straight into surgery. I have an orthopedic and vascular surgeon salivating and sharpening their scalpels even as we speak.”
Although used to Dr. Allen’s sense of humor, her team was stunned by this comment. Their patient took it well. “As long as they’re surgeons and not my board members, I suppose I’ll survive. Tell Andrea, will you?”
“You’ll survive. Promise. And I’ll talk to Andy. See you on the flip side when you wake up.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Oh, Miranda? What color for your cast?”
As injured as Miranda was, Dr. Allen nearly laughed watching the woman’s eyes widen at the question. “There’ll be a color involved in my cast?”
“Sure. Hot pink? Electric orange? Lime-green?”
“Something tasteful.” Miranda glared at her and said in a low, cool voice, “See to it.”
Holy shit, the doctor thought as Miranda closed her eyes and her team wheeled her away. She left the room to apprise Andy of the situation and to ask, quite earnestly now, what color might be tasteful for a cast.
NEXT CHAPTER
Author: hawkbehere (hawkbehere2@yahoo.com)
Rated: R for cursing and a warning up for violence-but NO sexual violence.
Summary: A little excitement for a change.
A/N: Love and bouquets of thanks to Rosemary for the once over and for saving my sanity on a daily basis, which is no mean feat. All mistakes in this chapter are mine. A loving hello to law_nerd and xenavirgin. Love and thanks to Jessica. And as always, love to my darling Martha and to Z Mercurychkita.
***
What now, Andy thought as she watched her phone winking and blinking at her. Real business? Or one of the hundreds of people wanting more information about her relationship with Miranda? She nearly laughed as she suddenly realized she probably needed an assistant at this point.
“Mirror. Sachs.”
As she listened, it was neither business or gossip. It was Caroline’s principal. She listened. Oh shit.
***
One Hour Earlier
Juan Carlo was laughing and sitting on top of a picnic bench in the schoolyard. “You call me Juan Carlo and J.C. and Jace-which is it?”
Cassidy looked him over. “You sort of look like different names at different times.”
“Yeah, dude.” Caroline agreed as she finished a juice box, “Just be glad you only have a few names and there aren’t two of you like with us.” With that, she pulled Cassidy to her and kissed her on the cheek, something she very rarely did, much less at school. It made her sister blush.
“There aren’t two of you. You’re really different.”
“Good answer Jace.” Caroline tapped her sister’s cheek, “I’m the embarrassing one.”
“You could never embarrass me, Caroline.”
Caroline smirked and said, “I just did, big sister, and gimme a few years. You won’t want to know me.”
Cassidy kissed Caroline on her cheek. “Never happen.”
They were all grinning at each other when they heard, “Hey, Castillo?”
They turned toward a voice belonging to someone they all loathed. Toby Kadinsky.
“What?”
“Can you swim?”
Juan Carlo paused before he answered, “Yes.”
What Toby said next shocked him. What Caroline did next shocked him even more. He didn’t have a second to think before the girl had punched Toby so hard that he’d fallen to the ground. She leaped on him and was beating the boy soundly before he and Cassidy had the presence of mind to pull her off of him, leaving him bleeding and crying.
They struggled to handle her nearly unsuccessfully as she shouted, “Oh yeah! That’s it! Cry BITCH. You talk to my brother like that again and you’ll get more of the same, motherfucker! But if you talk to my sister? My sister? You’ll never walk again, you lousy piece of-“
Cassidy clapped her hand over Caroline’s mouth as she watched a teacher hastening toward them.
***
Miranda felt a surge of irritation as she looked at her cell. She’d told Andy this would be a murderous day for her. For Andy, however, and unlike for her two husbands she did pick up. “Yes?”
“We have to go to school now.”
“I’m sure that sentence has meaning somewhere.”
“Caroline is in the principal’s office. She’s assaulted a classmate and we need to get to the fucking school now.”
“What? Caroline assaulted-what? The principal’s office called you first?”
“Yes. Hello? I’m a contact for our children and I assume they’d think they could get through to me and I’d actually come.”
There was a pause before Miranda said in a decidedly cooler tone, “I need no reminders of my maternal deficiencies, Andrea. I keep them tucked away in my heart and you know it.”
Andy’s voice immediately softened. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just…it’s Caroline and she’s going to be suspended and she’s probably angry and really scared.”
“Suspended? We’ll see. I’ll push everything back. Roy and I will pick you up in 15 minutes.”
“Thanks.”
“For being a mother? I am, you know. Their mother.”
“Jesus. Sorry again. Please come get me. I’ll feel better once I see you.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
As Miranda rang off, she realized Andy was having her own first true maternal crisis, which actually warmed her heart. “Emily?”
***
Caroline’s arms were crossed over her chest and she was silent, glaring daggers at everything, Ms. Jenkin’s secretary Sylvia, Sylvia’s desk, even the carpet. Cassidy and Juan Carlo were waiting with her and Cassidy had decided this must be because they were…what had she heard on TV? Yeah. Material witnesses. Toby had gotten back from a trip to the school nurse, and his lip looked a little better now that it wasn’t bleeding. It was a fat lip, though, and Cassidy could see he was going to have a black eye.
His mother opened the door and rushed to his side. The twins knew Sheila Kadinsky and hated her just as much as they hated her son. Hated her as much as their mom did, which was really saying something. The only worthwhile thing the woman had ever done in their opinions was to knock their mother off the radar during the Stephen divorce when her husband, Tobias Sr., had gotten the book thrown at him for embezzlement.
As Sheila cooed over her son, Cassidy glanced at Caroline.
“She won’t come,” Caroline whispered.
“She will,” Cassidy hissed.
“Oh, right. Who? Andy?”
Cassidy wasn’t stupid enough to even try to lie. “Maybe. Or Mom. One of them.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes you do.”
Juan Carlo was nearly beside himself with worry, having never had reason to be sitting in a principal’s office for something he’d done or waiting for what was very bad trouble for a friend. He saw that Caroline wasn’t in the mood to take sympathy or consideration, so he took Cassidy’s hand and whispered, “It will be fine. You’ll see. I will call my papi if we need to.”
Cassidy squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “Thanks, Jace.”
At that moment, the door swung open again, with Andy following a Miranda in full battle mode. The twins and Juan Carlo brightened visibly. Miranda nodded at them and acknowledged the others in the room as they took seats, “Sheila, Tobias, Jr.”
Miranda turned toward the desk and astonished Andy by not even pretending not to know a name, “Sylvia, isn’t it?”
The young pretty blonde sank into herself, actually quailing before saying, “Yes, Ms. Priestly.”
“I suppose we could begin? Surely Avery has other things on her schedule. I know I do. She called this meeting. I assume she’s ready for it.”
“Yes, Ms. Priestly. It may be a few minutes, actually. Ms. Jenkins is on a very important call.”
“Oh, I’m sure she is, if that something involves me. The sooner the few minutes pass, however, the better for all of us Sylvia.”
As Sylvia nodded and left the room to announce them, Sheila said very quietly, “I see you’re still the self-involved bitch, Miranda.”
Miranda answered even more quietly. “There are children in the room, Sheila. Or hadn’t you noticed?”
“Like they haven’t heard that particular word, being your children.”
Juan Carlo jumped to his feet and said with the considerable fire of his father, “With respect, you must not talk to Ms. Miranda or any woman in this way in my presence.”
Shelia looked at the earnest little boy with disdainful amusement and turned to Miranda, “And who’s this? Your maid’s son?”
“Oh, hell no. That’s it!” Caroline leaped up as Juan Carlo and Cassidy grabbed her again and Andy scrambled to help.
Miranda stood and said sharply, “Children. Andrea. Everyone please be seated and calm down.” And oddly enough or perhaps not, everyone in her family immediately did.
“To answer your question, Sheila, Juan Carlo is the son of two of my best friends in this world. For all intents and purposes, my interest in his welfare is exactly that I’d have toward a son. In that sense, you have just cast an implied aspersion upon my son’s ethnicity. But let’s table that for the time being until we deal with the altercation between,” she made a cursory look around the room until her eyes landed upon, “I’d imagine Tobias, Jr. who does look a bit the worse for wear and my daughter, who looks curiously unscathed. Frankly shocking considering the fact that Tobias, Jr. is such a big, strapping boy.”
The boy in question who was quite a bit taller and heavier than the other children in the room had, along with his mother, turned bright red with mortification but they both stared at Miranda with pure hatred. She smiled down at Toby. “My, my. What baleful eyes you have, Tobias Jr. Of course, I know you prefer to be called Toby but your name does so remind me of your dear father, who knows quite a bit about bail, doesn’t he? Or lack thereof?”
Andy, who’d been listening to this in a sort of sinking horror, stepped up and put her hand on Miranda’s arm, whispering “That’s enough. He’s a child.”
Miranda patted Andy’s hand as she looked into Sheila’s eyes and said, quietly, “Quite right. So I’ll keep my thoughts to myself and you’ll keep yours to yourself. I’m sure you’ll agree, Sheila. Because to be perfectly honest...” She looked Toby over, “If you ask for it and I have every belief your son must have as you are even now, we Priestlys will always throw a harder punch. I mean that completely figuratively of course. Do we understand each other?”
Sheila forced a swallow and nodded as Toby looked around the room. The woman with that bitch Miranda looked really concerned and even Juan Carlo looked upset. Two sets of anxious brown eyes. The blue eyes of the Priestlys were different than the brown yet they were all the same. Fierce and gloating.
Sylvia opened the door, “Ms. Jenkins will see you now.”
“How kind of her,” Miranda said as she led the way into the woman’s office. Andy fought the urge to roll her eyes. This was going to be one hell of a run through and it was actually Andy who helped Sylvia bring enough chairs into the office so that everyone could sit down. Why not and what the hell she thought. Once an assistant, always…
As they all took their seats, Miranda said with what Andy considered her Runway smile, “Avery, always a pleasure to see you but a pity considering the circumstances. We’ve all met each other so shall we skip the social niceties and get to said circumstances?”
Avery Jenkins was in her late 40s and had been doing her job long enough to be quite used to the wealthy parents of children attending her school attempting to bully her. Miranda Priestly was, oddly enough, not of that class. Miranda was a shark. Powerful, graceful and completely intent on what she wanted, not on what or who didn’t matter. She couldn’t be bothered to hurt things she did not need to. A shark but never a bully. Avery found sharks refreshing.
“Hello, again Miranda. Sheila. Andy.” Avery smiled at all of them, including the children before saying, “First of all, let’s establish one thing. We have a zero tolerance policy for violence at this school. Caroline has assaulted Toby with many witnesses and you can see that he’s been injured.”
“Indeed I can,” Miranda replied.
“I’ll sue you and your brat, Priestly,” Sheila suddenly interjected. Avery took a deep breath before Miranda answered calmly, “Please do. I’m sure it will do wonders for Tobias Jr. Please take pictures of him today and of my daughter. He’d love having the tabloids show the physical proof he was beaten by a little girl. And seriously, who could blame him? What young man wouldn’t?”
Andy sighed as Sheila sputtered and Toby hissed, “Mom! You can’t do that! That would suck so bad!”
Miranda merely smiled at Avery who almost…almost smiled back at her before continuing, “You can both discuss these sorts of things at your leisure. We’re here to discuss the ramifications of-“
Caroline piped up. “What do I have to say to get out of this boring meeting? Something like I beat him down like the complete wuss he is? I did it so suspend me already.”
Andy put her hand on Caroline’s arm and was actually a bit surprised that Caroline didn’t shrug it off.
Avery continued, “That certainly simplifies matters, Caroline.”
“Not for me,” Miranda replied. “I’d like to hear what precipitated this incident. Caroline has, in my memory, hit someone exactly once. Her father John and with her pacifier when she was six months old. Could you tell us what happened, sweetheart?”
Caroline looked at her Mom and mumbled, “No. I’d just rather get punished and be done with it.” Cassidy took her hand.
Before Miranda could say anything, Andy gently squeezed Caroline’s arm, “You can tell us, sweetie. We love you-just tell us.”
Caroline’s chin wobbled a bit. She was going to cry and she couldn’t stand that.
Juan Carlo saw it and he knew it and he stood up. “I will tell you what happened. Caroline and Cassidy and I were talking and Toby came up to us and asked if I could swim. I said I could and he laughed and said ‘That figures-you’re a wetback.’ And that is when Caroline hit him. She did it for me.”
And just like that, within seconds, the room chilled against the Kadinskys and Sheila knew it. “That’s all? That’s just a silly schoolyard taunt!”
“Yeah-and a really interesting one. Ms. Jenkins, do you have a zero tolerance policy on racial epithets?”
“As a matter of fact I do and a it's a very personal one, Andy. Caroline and Toby, you’re both suspended for three days. Your behavior was completely unacceptable.”
“But Ms. Jenkins-“
“Yes, Juan Carlo.”
“It’s just a stupid word a stupid person would use. I don’t care. I’m proud to have American parents born in Mexico. Can’t you just tell Caroline and Toby not to do it again? It’s very hard to know they both can’t come to school because of me.”
Miranda held up one hand to keep Avery from speaking and reached for Juan Carlo’s hand with the other. “Come here.”
He dutifully moved closer and she ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s not your fault. Yes, it was just a word and a very stupid one. But Caroline can’t hit people for words. And people cannot call you stupid words. Not those kinds of words. We all have to learn how to deal with people who try to hurt us. Do you think I ever hit people who hurt me?”
He shook his head solemnly, “No, Ms. Miranda. I know you would never.”
“You know people say many terrible things about me, don’t you?”
“Oh yes. I read them.”
“I don’t care. Just as you don’t care. Even when Shei…Ms. Kadinsky said something about you that was bad just a few minutes ago, you didn’t get upset. But you defended me when she called me something that was just a word. Didn’t you?”
He looked down at the ground, “Yes. But that is my duty as a man.”
She refused to smile at this, “Exactly. It’s our duty as family to protect each other but we have to learn the best ways to do that. You’re very young and you’ll learn more and better ways as you get older. Until then, let’s just agree that it’s not your fault, okay?”
“Yes, Ms. Miranda.”
“Very well.” She patted Juan Carlo on the shoulder as she said, “So we’re agreed on the terms, Avery, and this meeting is over.”
Avery nearly laughed, not even caring that the meeting had always been on the other woman’s terms, “Yes Miranda. Meeting adjourned. Three days for both Caroline and Toby. Do we understand each other, Sheila?”
“I understand you must be in this woman’s pocket.”
“If that’s what you’ve taken from this, you have an interesting and very personal universe. I’ll see you, Caroline and Toby, in three days. Thank you, everyone, for coming.”
As Sheila and Toby hastily left the office, Andy ruffled Caroline’s hair and said, “I guess you’re coming with us, jailbird.”
Caroline suddenly laughed and said, “I know right? Sucks to be me!” She quickly turned and kissed Cassidy on the cheek and play punched Juan Carlo. “Have a good rest of the day.”
Juan Carlo said very soberly, “Thank you for defending me as your brother.”
“You’ll always be my brother, Jace. Watch. You’ll see.”
***
Andy reflected, as Roy was turning on onto a street to drop them at a new restaurant, that it had taken nearly one month for the excitement over the cover, the billboard-all of it-to die down. Much longer than she had expected and which Miranda addressed in this way, “How could I know my appearance on a magazine cover would coincide with a shocking display of probity on the part of the usual suspects in tabloid fodder?”
How indeed, Andy supposed. It was nice to get out for a casual lunch, their first in weeks. It was a new restaurant and, because the chef was an important enough acquaintance that Miranda would consent to dine, he was not so important as to be able to cajole her into an opening night. They both knew he’d front-load his lunch bookings for the day with people who might be suitably impressed with her appearance.
Miranda was in a particularly foul mood and greeted Andy with a, “This is a miserable idea,” as she entered the car and then retreated into her Blackberry.
Andy sighed, then offered, “You know, we don’t have to go anywhere. We can get a burger in a drive-through somewhere.”
The older woman didn’t even look up. “Yes, why don’t we count the drive-throughs in Manhattan, Andrea.”
Andy rolled her eyes at Roy, who was looking at her with sympathy through the rearview.
“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean-a street vendor. Take-out. Whatever.”
“Yes, a hot dog with light mustard, hold the salmonella, extra botulism.”
“I’ve lived to tell the tale many a time.”
“Now that you mention it, you are remarkably pale, Andrea. Perhaps that’s the cause.”
Andy huffed, “Jesus! Fine! And why even bother inviting me if you’re going to be glued to your Crackberry?”
Miranda immediately put her phone in her purse. “There. Now. You have my complete attention. I’m sure you know I have absolutely nothing to do but go to lunch. Literally nothing. I’m surprised I even went into the building today.”
“You have two people to keep track of just how busy you are and yet YOU scheduled this lunch on this day at this time, so don’t take it out on me, buddy.”
There was a loaded silence. “Buddy? I see. I’m relegated to buddy status now?”
Andy actually was more than a bit miffed but she’d learned where to pick her battles. This wasn’t a battle. It was only a skirmish and one she didn’t have to continue. It had taken time and hadn’t been necessarily all that fun to learn the difference and to learn to deal. She slid over in the seat and took the woman’s hand in hers and put her head on her shoulder, “Of course not, sweetheart.”
Miranda snorted lightly but ran her thumb over Andy’s hand as she stared out the window.
Roy looked back at Andy and gave her a quick wink, which she returned.
***
“Good God,” Miranda whispered as they were following the host, who’d nearly genuflected at their appearance, toward their table.
“What? I think it’s sort of pretty.”
“You would.”
“Be nice.”
“I’m the soul of nicety.”
“Where? In hell?”
Andy was pleased to see the corners of Miranda’s mouth lift at this as they took their seats in a table in the middle of a packed room and the host raced away to get the chef. “Why not just raise a dais and put us on display?”
Even Andy couldn’t dispute the comment. Only that one touch could have made them more visible to everyone in the restaurant.
“Welcome to the dog and pony show,” Miranda whispered.
“Or fashion show for that matter.”
“Touché. I find you a bit testy today, Andrea.”
Andy’s mouth dropped open in consternation just as the chef and owner, Jeremy Benjamin, arrived at their table.
“Jeremy,” Miranda said as she accepted his air kisses, “I don’t believe you’ve met my fiancée, Andrea Sachs.”
He took her hand and murmured, “No, I haven’t. Obviously my loss,” before kissing it.
Not bad, Andy thought. A good-looking guy could get away with relatively mediocre lines and at that moment Christian popped into her mind. She smiled as she watched Miranda do something at which the woman was almost supernaturally accomplished if she chose to but rarely did, pretending to be interested in the numbingly mundane.
After Miranda assured him the restaurant was gorgeous and that, of course, their menu was entirely his choice, he sped back to the kitchen.
“You almost looked like you meant that, sweetheart.”
Miranda raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I did look like I meant that. I’m a master.”
“Which makes me the mistress?”
The older woman reached across the table and tapped the ring on her left hand, “You’ve had an upgrade.”
“Good answer.” Andy looked around the room again, “They certainly seem to be getting off to a good start.”
“Yes. They have us as a floor show today.”
Andy opened the menu and began to peruse it when she felt Miranda grabbing her wrist painfully tightly. She looked up at the woman whose eyes were suddenly extraordinarily wide as she hissed, “Get under the fucking table, Andy.”
Andy half laughed, half whispered, “What?”
“I said get under the fucking table right now! Do NOT come out!”
With that ferocious and ridiculous request, Andy realized her time at Runway had cemented some part of her autonomic reflexes because she immediately ducked under the table and could only see through her vantage point under the draping of the tablecloth that Miranda had stood.
Then she heard a general uproar, a few screams and Miranda’s voice cutting through it all.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see we have a bit of a situation. Please stay right where you are.”
Instead of a situation, the other patrons saw a wild-eyed young woman brandishing a gun at Miranda. As Miranda stepped forward, the woman halted 20 feet away before screaming, “Don’t move any closer you bitch!”
Miranda nodded, “Now that we’ve established you know me and that this is personal, Alicia, I’m going to remind you of something. No one else here has anything to do with this. They need to assume positions on the floor so they won’t be hurt. Is that amenable to you?”
Alicia appeared briefly stunned by this request and her hand shook as she shouted, “Everyone else on the floor!”
The patrons scrambled to comply and Andy felt like her heart would pound out of her chest as she watched, from under the table cloth, the faces of the few terrified people she could see assuming positions at her level on the floor.
“Thank you, Alicia Faye Bowden.” The shock on Alicia’s face made Miranda smile, “And of course I know and remember quite a bit about you. What can I do for you today?”
“You ruined my life!”
Miranda tilted her head. “Did I? How so?”
“I can’t get a job anywhere!”
“You exaggerate. If you cast your mind back, you asked with your behavior only that publishing be closed to you in New York. So I closed it. Cause. Effect. Or don’t you remember your part in this?”
Alicia stabbed her gun in the air as she screamed, “Shut up! Shut up! Your little bitch Andy’s not so high and mighty now is she? Hiding under a table behind an old woman? Get out here, Andy! Right this fucking second!”
Miranda’s voice was as calm as Andy had ever heard it. “Alicia. There are two things that won’t happen today. One. You’re not going to hurt Andrea. Not one hair on her head. Two. You’re not going to hurt anyone else in this restaurant.”
Alicia, who’d expected and wanted abject terror, was scarlet with fury, “You fucking BITCH! Fuck you and your fucking bullshit.”
“Well stated. Pulitzer Prize here you come. To continue, Alicia Faye Bowden. Three things actually may happen today and you can take your choice. One. You can put the gun down and end this farce but I suspect you’re too histrionic for that option. Case in point. You’re holding a roomful of people at gunpoint. Two. You can shoot yourself. I’d be all for it but you’re far too narcissistic or you would have already done that rather than this. Three. You can shoot me. If that’s your choice, I’d prefer you go ahead because I have a meeting with Zac Posen at four. And remember, I’ve been shot before and, frankly, by a woman wearing better shoes.”
Andy, who was shaking with horror, pounded the floor at this taunt even as she heard the abrupt bark of a gunshot. She was moving to clamber out during the shrieks that followed it when all sound was silenced by a roar from Miranda, “QUIET! NOBODY MOVE! ANDREA SACHS DO NOT MOVE!”
Although she barely flinched, the wound in Miranda’s left arm was curiously and bitingly more painful than her other experience of being shot. She watched in fascination for a few seconds as the blood blossomed quickly on the sleeve of her white shirt. She turned to Alicia, from whose suddenly incredibly pale face that blood could almost seem to have been originating. “I believe the technical term for this is ‘ouch’, Alicia.”
Alicia’s hand was shaking very badly now, “Are you even fucking HUMAN?”
Miranda shrugged, “Verdict’s out. Put the gun down. The police will come in now-and they will kill you if you have a gun. Put it down.”
Alicia faltered and Miranda said very quietly, “Put the gun on the table and live. Keep it and die. The choice is yours.”
Alicia put the gun on the table next to her and Miranda said, “Men? Someone? Please hold Ms. Bowden. No one touch that gun. Someone please tell New York’s finest they needn’t storm the place and for God’s sake keep your hands in the air while doing so. Until they do come in, personally, I’d stay on the floor.” As she watched a patron and server grab Alicia, she continued, “In fact, I think I’ll take a seat myself.”
As she sank into her chair, she said, “All clear, Andrea.”
Andy emerged with a reddened and tear-streaked face and looked at the woman bleeding before her, “Oh my God, Miranda.”
Miranda nodded, “Yes, yes. Very dramatic. I need you to apply pressure up here above this ridiculous wound.”
"Oh for God's sake," Andy summoned the presence of mind to call out,“ Hello! Help? Doctors in the house?”
One man leapt up and rushed forward. “John Franklin. Sorry. Not even thinking. I was texting my wife.”
He looked at the wound and said. “Okay-that looks like a fracture and it’s hit an artery.” He grabbed a napkin and clamped the woman’s arm above the wound far tighter than Andy would have dreamed of.
As police swarmed into the building, Franklin shouted, “Need a bus! Right now.”
One of the officers nodded, “Got a couple out here.”
“Good. Thank you, Dr. Franklin. Andrea, I believe our ride’s outside.”
“Miranda, they’ll bring in a stretcher.”
“For whom? Has someone fainted? Get my purse and give me my glasses. I can walk.”
“Ms. Priestly-you’re losing a lot of blood. You need to be horizontal and still.”
“Yes, Dr. Franklin. I can feel that. And I will be both once I walk out of here.”
Before he could say anything, Andy said, “No point in arguing.”
“Okay. But coming with you.”
“Fine.” Andy and Dr. Franklin helped her stand and as they passed a subdued and cuffed Alicia, Miranda paused.
“One word with the prisoner?” The policeman holding the young woman looked at Miranda and at her blood dripping on the floor and said, “Sure thing.”
Miranda leaned toward Alicia and whispered, “That was your one free shot. Approach my family again and prison will be the least of your worries. Look me in the eyes.” The woman hesitated but did. “I’ve warned you twice and you’ve done the wrong thing twice. And failed. Black balled first time. Prison second time. Your third strike? You will be out, Alicia Faye Bowden. And over. Even a person of your limited journalistic imagination might conjure up what I mean by that.”
Miranda put her sunglasses on before Andy and Dr. Franklin escorted her to the waiting ambulance. Despite still being overcome by fear and worry for Miranda, Andy couldn’t help but sigh as the paparazzi shouted at them. Another round of press.
Which reminded her of the kids and as Miranda situated herself on the stretcher, she said, “Yes. The children. Call Emily and Magdalena.”
***
“Andy? Where in bloody hell are you two? Roy is beside himself!”
As Emily listened, her legs gave way and she plopped down into her chair. “You have to be kidding me! Again?! Is she…oh my God…is she…”
“Em-c’mon-on the way to hospital here. But she’s shot in the arm, okay? We have a doctor with us. Should be fine.”
Oddly enough, the relief of that made Emily suddenly feel the desire to bang her head on her desk. “What do you need?”
“Call the school and call Maggie. Get her to the school to tell the kids. Tell them she’ll be fine. And push everything back. At least a week.”
Emily heard a muffled “Nonsense!” from Miranda but Andy reiterated. “At least a week.”
“Got it.”
“Thanks, Em.”
“Tell her I’m very…we’re all very concerned.”
“Will do.”
***
Susan Allen was laughing at a nurse’s joke, writing notes in a patient’s chart and scratching the back of her calf with the shoe on the other foot when something about a call from an ambulance en route she actually barely registered hearing brought her up sharp. A fifty-year old woman with a gunshot wound. Not all that uncommon, unfortunately. Which was why her colleague Jason was startled as she jostled him out of the way and grabbed the mike. “Patient’s name?”
“Repeat?”
“Patient. Name.”
“Copy that. Priestly.”
“Son of a bitch. She’s mine, Jason.”
“But, Susan, I’m-“
“Not treating her. I am..” She patted him on the arm as she looked at the board. They were fairly clear-everything under control and nothing pressing for the moment. “Trust me, Jason. You’ll thank me later.”
She announced, “VIP incoming, people.” She listened to the transmission from the ambulance and thanked God there was a doctor with Miranda so she could cut to the chase.
“Tell Vasquez to scrub and who do we have on vascular?”
“Combs.”
“Fine. Get his ass in the saddle too.”
As they rolled Miranda in, the only thing paler than the woman on the stretcher was Andy. “We meet again. You two are nothing but trouble. Siddown, Andy before you fall down. I’ve got her.” Andy nodded numbly as they wheeled Miranda away.
After Dr. Franklin relayed the latest before departing, Susan smiled down at Miranda through her face shield as she cut her blouse off, “Sorry about the duds, but a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.”
“It was time. Nearly last season.”
“Doctor Allen,” one of the nurses said.
“Yeah-I see. She needs volume, folks. Push it. Type her for protocol but I know she’s AB-. Let’s get that going.”
Miranda’s eyelashes fluttered, “You remember my blood type?”
“Rare bird-rare blood type. This may hurt, okay?”
“You mean it doesn’t yet?”
Dr. Allen had to admire Miranda’s fortitude as she inspected the wound, which had to be extremely painful.
“What does it look like, doctor?”
“One hell of a gunshot wound, Miranda. You know most policemen never get shot? Ever? What the hell are you doing out there?”
“Saving the world from bad fashion. A dangerous job, evidently.”
“No kidding. Well, luckily you had a doctor onboard so I’ve got everything I need. You’re off to x-ray and then straight into surgery. I have an orthopedic and vascular surgeon salivating and sharpening their scalpels even as we speak.”
Although used to Dr. Allen’s sense of humor, her team was stunned by this comment. Their patient took it well. “As long as they’re surgeons and not my board members, I suppose I’ll survive. Tell Andrea, will you?”
“You’ll survive. Promise. And I’ll talk to Andy. See you on the flip side when you wake up.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Oh, Miranda? What color for your cast?”
As injured as Miranda was, Dr. Allen nearly laughed watching the woman’s eyes widen at the question. “There’ll be a color involved in my cast?”
“Sure. Hot pink? Electric orange? Lime-green?”
“Something tasteful.” Miranda glared at her and said in a low, cool voice, “See to it.”
Holy shit, the doctor thought as Miranda closed her eyes and her team wheeled her away. She left the room to apprise Andy of the situation and to ask, quite earnestly now, what color might be tasteful for a cast.
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