Gabby: Tightness
She curled into a ball, knees tucked against her chest, chin on her knees, hands around them and rocked, a little, humming tunelessly to herself. The world was contracting around her again, asking for things. A letter about Javhod - when frankly she no longer cared either way what people called him - a letter to Jaka. A definitive statement of why she thought Cassie was being an idiot. A plan, or if there was no plan, then she should prepare a canvas and paint. She should do... something.
Never enough, she thought to herself, still rocking a little. You knew it never would be. Won't be enough until you're face to face with Lukas again. With Simon. With Miguel. And even then... it's not that you'll have done enough. They just won't be able to ask you to do more.
I ache for reasonable answers. There are none. I suppose nothing about what I am is reasonable. I suppose nothing about the world is reasonable.
She rocked a few moments more, slowing.
Get up, she told herself. Get the canvas ready.
Never enough, she thought to herself, still rocking a little. You knew it never would be. Won't be enough until you're face to face with Lukas again. With Simon. With Miguel. And even then... it's not that you'll have done enough. They just won't be able to ask you to do more.
I ache for reasonable answers. There are none. I suppose nothing about what I am is reasonable. I suppose nothing about the world is reasonable.
She rocked a few moments more, slowing.
Get up, she told herself. Get the canvas ready.