yet another day of crap
went bowling with some friends tonight... it was good times... bowled the game of my life... it was so unorthodox it was hilarious... it was nice to have something like that to take my mind off things for a while... things have just been really bad lately... the presence of god is the last thing i am feeling as of late... i just feel worse every day... so many things back home slipping out from under my feet... and my spiritual walk is something that as of right now.. has much left to be desired... i feel worthless... i feel like im not going to go anywhere in life... i feel like i will be alone for a long long time... i just lack the energy really to do much anymore... i care about people here... but wonder why they bother with me... its like karen said in class today... people who are depressed have left no room for god to work in their lives... thats pretty much all i got out of the entire day... im depressed... the new meds dont seem to do anything... and i live every day seemingly growing more and more distant to god... thus having every day ultimelty meaningless and a waste of what god has inteneded for my life... but here i am wasting it away... i guess i walk this alone...