if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say
i don't quite know what i am supposed to do here.
i'm about to be more brutally honest than i ever have, and my friend count might suffer along the way, but here goes.
i finally hooked up with a girl i had dreamt about last september. i thought it was too good to be true but in reality it was a pitiful excuse for a relationship between two people who honestly didnt like each others characteristics very much and still don't from what i can tell. the sole purpose of whatever higher order's decision to put us together was to get me off of blow. mission accomplished.
to be perfectly honest though, despite the selection of girls i have dated and felt for, i have only truly loved one to the extent that i know how to love someone. and we never dated because, from what i can see, i don't look the fucking part. that's the only thing i can figure and yes, i could be wrong, and i'm sorry if i am, but unfortunately i can't help what i think and that is what i think. i think if i looked more like a stereotypical hardcore kid who listened to bright eyes and had a shitty band i'd have a better chance. i have personality flaws, i know, but no moreso than previous suitors i have seen, and damn it i am a hell of alot more loving, i would sacrifice almost anything for this girl to take me seriously.but no, i'm the guy who is the ultra good friend, occasionally deserves the time of day, and gives all the advice that helps the other guy get where i want to be. such is my curse.
i have plenty of girls, however, who want to be with me. which i now admit, and never did before. but it's true. now i don't want to be with any of these people, maybe because i'm giving in to the old addage of the human interest in challenge, but whatever i don't care.
i hate bright eyes.
i think people who commit suicide are fucking pitiful.
i think straight edge kids who have never tried a drug in their life might as well be cardboard cutouts who i could shoot in the head and not feel a bit of compassion.
i think it's trendy to point out things are trendy.
insert random movie quote here from i heart huckabees or napoleon dynamite or what the fuck ever is popular right now and plays at the green hills movie theater
i could care less if any of you hate me for this. in fact i hope you do.
i have never been this angry in my life over a nonspecific turn of events.
"orange", i know you can't stand me. i'm sorry i keep trying to talk to you. i'm done. if it makes any difference i can't really stand you either. but i do forgive you and i am sorry for everything i pulled, you didn't deserve it and i hope you guys are happy, and that's genuine not sarcasm.
"jew-ish", i'm sorry i keep bringing up my feelings for you. i know it's not going to happen for whatever reason, and for whatever reason you are obviously entitled to your feelings. i wish to god you would turn them around and see in me what i see in you, or see how happy you make me and give me an honest to god chance based on that, but you won't and i know it now. i told you to stay, you're staying, and i am glad, but it seems like we are spending less and less time together and it seems like it's going to stay that way. i'm glad you found a place to live, i hope this douchebag that took his dear sweet time to let you know how he felt treats you right, and i can only somewhat hope that someday you will realize how perfect you are for me and how many times i have dreamt of waking up beside you, but rest assured that i know better than to think that you will.
t17, i am so sad and so pissed off at you at the same time that i cant see straight. i can't believe you would do this to yourself, but i almost did and probably would have if it weren't for some sort of divine intervention. i guess those arguments we always had paid off. i love you, i love jaime, and im sorry we had to lose you both so soon.
i know i bitch about having a band all the time but i'm done trying to create something with other people who don't understand me, themselves, or the mere process of creation. from here on out the seventeens are alive again, and the only member will be an original member. i'm making this music myself, but you may never hear it. and i don't care.
in short.
i probably want to get to know you if i don't know you already.
if i do know you already, i probably know too much to want to know you anymore.
and there are infinite amounts of people who fit into neither category.
comment if you have any questions as to your stance.
or just think i hate you and i'll go about my business.
it will end up that way someday anyway.
jesse seventeen
i'm about to be more brutally honest than i ever have, and my friend count might suffer along the way, but here goes.
i finally hooked up with a girl i had dreamt about last september. i thought it was too good to be true but in reality it was a pitiful excuse for a relationship between two people who honestly didnt like each others characteristics very much and still don't from what i can tell. the sole purpose of whatever higher order's decision to put us together was to get me off of blow. mission accomplished.
to be perfectly honest though, despite the selection of girls i have dated and felt for, i have only truly loved one to the extent that i know how to love someone. and we never dated because, from what i can see, i don't look the fucking part. that's the only thing i can figure and yes, i could be wrong, and i'm sorry if i am, but unfortunately i can't help what i think and that is what i think. i think if i looked more like a stereotypical hardcore kid who listened to bright eyes and had a shitty band i'd have a better chance. i have personality flaws, i know, but no moreso than previous suitors i have seen, and damn it i am a hell of alot more loving, i would sacrifice almost anything for this girl to take me seriously.but no, i'm the guy who is the ultra good friend, occasionally deserves the time of day, and gives all the advice that helps the other guy get where i want to be. such is my curse.
i have plenty of girls, however, who want to be with me. which i now admit, and never did before. but it's true. now i don't want to be with any of these people, maybe because i'm giving in to the old addage of the human interest in challenge, but whatever i don't care.
i hate bright eyes.
i think people who commit suicide are fucking pitiful.
i think straight edge kids who have never tried a drug in their life might as well be cardboard cutouts who i could shoot in the head and not feel a bit of compassion.
i think it's trendy to point out things are trendy.
insert random movie quote here from i heart huckabees or napoleon dynamite or what the fuck ever is popular right now and plays at the green hills movie theater
i could care less if any of you hate me for this. in fact i hope you do.
i have never been this angry in my life over a nonspecific turn of events.
"orange", i know you can't stand me. i'm sorry i keep trying to talk to you. i'm done. if it makes any difference i can't really stand you either. but i do forgive you and i am sorry for everything i pulled, you didn't deserve it and i hope you guys are happy, and that's genuine not sarcasm.
"jew-ish", i'm sorry i keep bringing up my feelings for you. i know it's not going to happen for whatever reason, and for whatever reason you are obviously entitled to your feelings. i wish to god you would turn them around and see in me what i see in you, or see how happy you make me and give me an honest to god chance based on that, but you won't and i know it now. i told you to stay, you're staying, and i am glad, but it seems like we are spending less and less time together and it seems like it's going to stay that way. i'm glad you found a place to live, i hope this douchebag that took his dear sweet time to let you know how he felt treats you right, and i can only somewhat hope that someday you will realize how perfect you are for me and how many times i have dreamt of waking up beside you, but rest assured that i know better than to think that you will.
t17, i am so sad and so pissed off at you at the same time that i cant see straight. i can't believe you would do this to yourself, but i almost did and probably would have if it weren't for some sort of divine intervention. i guess those arguments we always had paid off. i love you, i love jaime, and im sorry we had to lose you both so soon.
i know i bitch about having a band all the time but i'm done trying to create something with other people who don't understand me, themselves, or the mere process of creation. from here on out the seventeens are alive again, and the only member will be an original member. i'm making this music myself, but you may never hear it. and i don't care.
in short.
i probably want to get to know you if i don't know you already.
if i do know you already, i probably know too much to want to know you anymore.
and there are infinite amounts of people who fit into neither category.
comment if you have any questions as to your stance.
or just think i hate you and i'll go about my business.
it will end up that way someday anyway.
jesse seventeen