4 out of 7 ain't bad...
So in the 7 stages of grief, the first is shock and denial, second comes guilt, third is anger, and the fourth one is Depression. Today I realized I am starting to drift into that stage and I don't really like it. Depression is one of my least favorite emotions... Makes you lazy and lethargic. Even anger is useful to a certain extent, but depression has always seemed a time waste before. In keeping with the spirit of trying new things... I have decided to attempt to deal with this in a new way. Rather than distract or attempt to drink the blues away... I am going to be depressed. This is a natural state after a traumatic loss, and while it was only a relationship that died and not an actual person, I should not try to run from it or keep it at bay. Instead, my hope is that by allowing myself to be aware of and feel this negative emotion, it will burn itself out faster than if I merely attempted to escape it. That is not to say I won't see my friends and have fun, but I will be spending more time sitting at home with kitties, stareing at a wall. To the great and wonderful people, I call friends, I will say that if your attempts to cheer me up are unsuccessful, it does not mean the effort was wasted or that I do not feel love and happiness from your trying. Michael just has a difficult road still to go to get back to a fully functioning person. I thank you all for your patients and love. I may not always say it outloud, but you are all fantastic people and deserve a pat on the back, or maybe a massage on the back!