Welp. It's another week. Oh, look, it's still 2020. But also, life goes on.
On the plus side, we get closer and closer to a holiday weekend, and on the negative side, we get closer and closer to the third anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him so much, and it gets a little easier to handle every year, but not quite easy around Labor Day. I have this double whammy of a weekend where it's my wedding anniversary and also Dad died three days after my wedding anniversary and a week after the kidlet's bar mitzvah.
Mr. Havoc and I got married on Labor Day weekend, for context, and Dad nearly died the first time around a few months before the wedding, so we had a whole bundle of emotions tied up around the wedding and him being there anyway. I'm sure he planned that timing. (Obviously he did not.) I mean, I'm glad he missed my actual anniversary! (Look, I cope with humor. You aren't even hearing the really in appropriate stuff I've said over the years to cope.)
The thing I'm glad about is that he's not around to see the world as it is now, or to live the extrovert hell that I've been living. So if I've whined in your journal, I'm sorry. This is my latest axis of not-coping, thinking about what winter is going to be like.
Plus I have a couple of RL friends with social anxieties who are not coping, and their social anxieties cause them to turtle up and not reach out, which is the exact opposite of me, where my social anxieties cause me to reach out to everyone around me - except that if I'm the one always reaching out I start wondering why it's always me. I do need some reciprocality. We've had this discussion and it's getting worse, not better. Like, they're deliberately reaching out on accounts I don't use. /hands
Only so much I can do! Maybe it will get better later and we can reconnect then. (So, uh, if you can read this, I'm not talking about you, if you want to be clear about if I'm talking about you or not.)
On the positive side of things, I did make a pretty good brisket for the first time ever, though it wasn't quite the flavor bomb I had wanted. I have pictures to post to Instagram later. I liked it, but it was fairly traditional and I like umami bombs in every meal. It's definitely the Italian-American background to the cooking; there's umami in just about every meal I make and always has been. But I found a "Hawaiian" themed brisket recipe with soy and pineapple and that might work.
Also the next time I make brisket I'm wondering if I can throw in some anchovy paste, maybe that will make it better on the umami side of things. I mean, I just don't do "large chunks of meat with root vegetables" that often.
We have to get a new fence. Getting bids has been...rough. Everyone wants work done! But it's getting done. We have all our rough bids, now we need to pick someone and get a firm bid, do the permits, all that.
The local con I volunteer for has been putting together its online Code of Conduct, and I did manage to talk them into striking the latter part of this section (everything from 'except' on): Deliberate "outing" of any aspect of a person's identity without their consent except as necessary to protect vulnerable people from intentional abuse.
I'm hoping no one starts arguing to return it, or says it's necessary, because the con chair already said she can think of scenarios it would be a "meaningful caveat," but honestly, I think she didn't want to die on that hill. She didn't think it was "critical to include."
You don't get to out someone else. Like, that's never cool, nor is it your call when it's to protect someone - they get to make that call.
I'm trying to figure out what newish show to watch next. Cobra Kai would be a nostalgia bomb, except I was never that into Karate Kid. Not enough women in starring roles. The Boys s2 is out and the women are pretty amazing. Hunters is amazing, but so, so dark, and I only have room for one dark show at a time, so that would be a concern with The Boys and Umbrella Academy s2. I'm hoarding Wynonna Earp because it's just a joy and a treasure.
In the meantime, would anyone be interested in doing a watch party on SG1 with me for Heroes 1 and 2, because I'm just not going to watch those on my own and I'd like to continue my Stargate rewatch. Yes, I'm a pathetic Janet Fraiser fan, okay? This entry has been cross-posted to Dreamwidth (
comments). Comments are welcome on either post.
Mr. Havoc and I got married on Labor Day weekend, for context, and Dad nearly died the first time around a few months before the wedding, so we had a whole bundle of emotions tied up around the wedding and him being there anyway. I'm sure he planned that timing. (Obviously he did not.) I mean, I'm glad he missed my actual anniversary! (Look, I cope with humor. You aren't even hearing the really in appropriate stuff I've said over the years to cope.)
The thing I'm glad about is that he's not around to see the world as it is now, or to live the extrovert hell that I've been living. So if I've whined in your journal, I'm sorry. This is my latest axis of not-coping, thinking about what winter is going to be like.
Plus I have a couple of RL friends with social anxieties who are not coping, and their social anxieties cause them to turtle up and not reach out, which is the exact opposite of me, where my social anxieties cause me to reach out to everyone around me - except that if I'm the one always reaching out I start wondering why it's always me. I do need some reciprocality. We've had this discussion and it's getting worse, not better. Like, they're deliberately reaching out on accounts I don't use. /hands
Only so much I can do! Maybe it will get better later and we can reconnect then. (So, uh, if you can read this, I'm not talking about you, if you want to be clear about if I'm talking about you or not.)
On the positive side of things, I did make a pretty good brisket for the first time ever, though it wasn't quite the flavor bomb I had wanted. I have pictures to post to Instagram later. I liked it, but it was fairly traditional and I like umami bombs in every meal. It's definitely the Italian-American background to the cooking; there's umami in just about every meal I make and always has been. But I found a "Hawaiian" themed brisket recipe with soy and pineapple and that might work.
Also the next time I make brisket I'm wondering if I can throw in some anchovy paste, maybe that will make it better on the umami side of things. I mean, I just don't do "large chunks of meat with root vegetables" that often.
We have to get a new fence. Getting bids has been...rough. Everyone wants work done! But it's getting done. We have all our rough bids, now we need to pick someone and get a firm bid, do the permits, all that.
The local con I volunteer for has been putting together its online Code of Conduct, and I did manage to talk them into striking the latter part of this section (everything from 'except' on): Deliberate "outing" of any aspect of a person's identity without their consent except as necessary to protect vulnerable people from intentional abuse.
I'm hoping no one starts arguing to return it, or says it's necessary, because the con chair already said she can think of scenarios it would be a "meaningful caveat," but honestly, I think she didn't want to die on that hill. She didn't think it was "critical to include."
You don't get to out someone else. Like, that's never cool, nor is it your call when it's to protect someone - they get to make that call.
I'm trying to figure out what newish show to watch next. Cobra Kai would be a nostalgia bomb, except I was never that into Karate Kid. Not enough women in starring roles. The Boys s2 is out and the women are pretty amazing. Hunters is amazing, but so, so dark, and I only have room for one dark show at a time, so that would be a concern with The Boys and Umbrella Academy s2. I'm hoarding Wynonna Earp because it's just a joy and a treasure.
In the meantime, would anyone be interested in doing a watch party on SG1 with me for Heroes 1 and 2, because I'm just not going to watch those on my own and I'd like to continue my Stargate rewatch. Yes, I'm a pathetic Janet Fraiser fan, okay? This entry has been cross-posted to Dreamwidth (
comments). Comments are welcome on either post.