[fic] Not In Any Man's Shoes (SGA, Sheppard/Weir/Heightmeyer) [NC-17]
Title: Not In Any Man's Shoes
Author: havocthecat
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sheppard/Weir/Heightmeyer
Author's Notes: Sequel to Walk A Mile, which was a girl!John/Elizabeth ficlet. Neither of these ficlets have any redeeming plot value whatsoever. Porn. All porn. Porn which presumes that Ancient tech genderswapped John. And there's femslash. Because it's fun.
***
They've somehow made it to the bed, and John's lost track of his clothing, not to mention Elizabeth's. John is starting to adapt a bit more to this female thing, but that's only because Elizabeth's fingers are inside him, and John's grinding hiships down, too distracted by Elizabeth's heaving breaths and the newness of being fucked, having anything inside this body, to hear the whoosh of the door opening.
"Elizabeth, I have those articles on gender iden--" John is staring at Elizabeth, but he can tell the exact second Dr. Heightmeyer looks up from her handheld.
Elizabeth's lips curve into a wicked smile John's never seen on her before. John's had plenty of fantasies about Elizabeth, but that look beats them all, hands-down. "Kate," says Elizabeth, and her voice is sultry as she glances over her shoulder at Dr. Heightmeyer. "Why don't you join us? You can give me the articles later."
John's too shocked to do anything more than groan when Elizabeth's fingers start moving again, and knowing that Dr. Heightmeyer's there, mouth hanging open and staring, drives him over the edge in seconds, so he's screaming - again - and writhing against Elizabeth's bed until he finally collapses in a boneless heap, panting and exhausted. "I don't know how much more of this I can take," he says.
"Why, John," says Elizabeth, and seriously, John could swear that just yesterday his boss was Dr. Prim-and-Proper, but now her voice is full of sin. "Here I thought you liked exploring your feminine side."
John lifts his head up, nearly groans with the effort, and then stares. Dr. Heightmeyer is recovered from her shock, her shirt is on the floor, and she's kicking her pants off to the side. She's wearing a sheer white bra, lace stretched across her breasts in a way that makes John's mouth water, and she's reaching behind herself, unhooking it and sliding it down her arms as she walks forward.
"Elizabeth, I thought you were planning on referring the Colonel to me for therapy," she says, hooking her thumbs into a pair of white lace panties and dragging them down quickly, before kneeling on the bed and leaning forward. She pulls Elizabeth to her for a kiss, and John whimpers at the way their hands start roaming across each other's bodies, and something triggers in the back of his mind.
"Oh, my God, you two have done this before!" she exclaims. Elizabeth and Heightmeyer both turn to him, their faces perfectly composed, but Heightmeyer's hand is moving somewhere behind Elizabeth, and John can see Elizabeth's fingertips dancing over Heightmeyer's breasts. "You and Heightmeyer have slept with each other before! How long have you been doing it?" And why didn't he get to see it before tonight?
Heightmeyer laughs, and John had no idea before now that the woman had a sense of humor behind the oh-so-serious psychologist facade, but apparently she does. She's leaning over John, Elizabeth watching them curiously, and as Heightmeyer drags her body up against John, she murmurs in her ear, "I'm about to fuck you senseless. How about you call me Kate from now on?"
"Right," gasps John, and his hands are on Kate's hips as Kate straddles him. He watches her blonde hair fall against her bare breasts as she leans over, opening the drawer on the table next to Elizabeth's bed and pulling out a small box. The fact that she's sliding herself against John's clit while she does this has John panting again, his hips jerking up against Kate, and John nearly comes from the slick heat of it. Just as he's about to, though, Kate lifts her hips, and John whimpers again, sure he's about to die.
'Dead from sexual arousal resulting from being turned (hopefully on a temporary basis) into a girl.' That was gonna look great on his death certificate.
Kate grins down at him, though, before handing the box to Elizabeth, who gives Kate a curious look. John's never seen Elizabeth arch an eyebrow while naked before. Her thighs are covered with wetness from where she'd guided John's hands against her, coaxing her body into a shuddering, convulsive orgasm that had left John turned on--again--even though Elizabeth's hands had been nowhere near John's body.
"You or him?" asks Elizabeth, and John swallows, wondering what's going to happen now.
"I want you to use it on me while I go down on him," says Kate. She turns back to John. "I'd ask if you had any objections, John, but you'd have said something if you did, right?"
John nods almost frantically, still stunned at how damn hot it is watching Kate pretend she's not affected by all of this, so he nearly misses Elizabeth pulling a dildo out of the box. Then Kate smiles, somehow still looking serene, and her head is between John's thighs, and oh, God, that's why all John's ex-girlfriends liked this so much. Kate's mouth is so warm, and so soft, and she's sucking on John's clit, sliding her tongue against it.
There's no way he's going to miss the shudder that runs through Kate when Elizabeth slides the dildo inside her, and the low moan against John's cunt pulls a groan out of him. He opens his eyes to see Elizabeth staring at them, licking her lips and looking hungrier than John's ever seen her. She twists the dildo farther inside Kate, who pushes back against it. Kate's serenity is gone now, and one of the hands she'd braced on John's thighs is between her own legs, circling her clit as her tongue starts to slide inside John.
"Touch yourself, John," says Elizabeth. John makes an abortive move at Kate, still moaning, getting higher-pitched with every thrust of Elizabeth's hand, her mouth against John harder and more devouring, then his hands fall back to the blankets, twisting at them. Elizabeth smirks. "Your breasts, I meant."
So John's hands move to his breasts. It's still weird, but it's hot. He can barely keep his eyes open now, but he's writhing against Kate's mouth, watching Kate's eyes close as she pushes desperately back against Elizabeth, watching as Elizabeth stares at them both. John's palms slide against his breasts, the feel of nipples puckered against her hands, and she twists them between her fingers, as it all starts to be too much. Watching Elizabeth and Kate. Elizabeth watching them. The newness of all the nerve endings shifting to breasts and clit, Kate pushing against his--
Yeah, and Elizabeth fucking her, leaning forward by now, rocking against Kate's ass and John just knows Elizabeth's getting off on all of this too, making John feel everything so hard and fast, with Kate trapped between their bodies. John comes, arching up against Kate's mouth, and Kate pulls away fast, her eyes dark and heated, and her mouth covered with John's wetness.
He was getting so fucking drunk when this was over with.
Elizabeth pushes Kate back, flat onto the bed, then straddles her, sliding her clit against the dildo she's got trapped inside Kate with her hips. Their mouths meet, and Elizabeth's licking the taste of John from Kate's mouth. John can't stop staring, watching Kate and Elizabeth's moaning, as they move together, unabashed and showing John everything, from frenetic twisting to gasps as they clutch each other, staring into each other's eyes, mouths open and coming with loud screams that John never imagined he'd hear coming from two of the most controlled women in the city.
They collapse against each other, panting softly for a few seconds, then Kate shudders again. "Elizabeth, get it-- God, too much, so good, but it's too--" Elizabeth raises her head, lifts off Kate's body enough to slide the dildo out, shove it off somewhere. John thinks he hears it clatter to the flor.
When Elizabeth collapses again, she reaches out with one arm and cups the back of John's neck, dragging him down against them both. "Whoa."
"Not how you expected to be spending your night?" asks Elizabeth, bemused.
"Not even close," says John, slinging an arm across Kate and Elizabeth. Apparently cuddling after sex is still expected. He can handle that, at least.
"Bad?" asks Kate, her eyes flickering open. "Or good?"
"Weird," says John, as he frowns, and his forehead furrows, because he's doesn't know what he's going to do. He yawns, his jaw cracking, because today has been way too long. "What'm I gonna do if McKay doesn't figure this out?"
"We'll figure something out," says Elizabeth, and wow, she's switched back to her professional voice, which is just freaky in and of itself.
"You gonna want to do this again?" asks John. After being abruptly swapped into the XX half of the population, seduced by his boss, and again by the expedition shrink, he may as well ask. "Whether McKay fixes me or not?"
Kate's studying him, her eyes holding a trace of humor John could swear she'd never had before now. Or maybe John had just never seen it. "I don't know," she says. "I might make an exception for you on my no males in bed policy if it happens."
"How did I never pick up on the fact that you're a lesbian?" asks John, boggling.
"You know how you and Rodney get," says Kate, and John shrugs, because she's right, but, well, that's what guys do. "Now I have blackmail material. You breathe a word of it, and I'll tell Rodney exactly what we did tonight."
Elizabeth chuckles softly, and John just glares at her.
"You wouldn't!" exclaims John, lifting up just long enough to look at Elizabeth and Kate. She lets her head drop again, because she's really tired, and Elizabeth's fingers are beginning to massage the back of John's neck. "Then I'd never hear the end of it."
"We'll figure it out in the morning," says Elizabeth. "Let's just slide under the covers and get some sleep for tonight."
"How the hell are we going to fit in these beds?" asks John, grumbling as he's forced to sit up.
"We squeeze," says Kate. "Don't tell me you're going to start complaining now."
"Oh, no," says John, yanking the covers back and scrambling into bed. "Not after all that." He feels Kate and Elizabeth sliding in on either side of him, and suddenly they're a pile of tangled limbs. As John warms up and falls slowly into sleep, he starts wondering why it's always him that gets the weird shit happening.
Author: havocthecat
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sheppard/Weir/Heightmeyer
Author's Notes: Sequel to Walk A Mile, which was a girl!John/Elizabeth ficlet. Neither of these ficlets have any redeeming plot value whatsoever. Porn. All porn. Porn which presumes that Ancient tech genderswapped John. And there's femslash. Because it's fun.
***
They've somehow made it to the bed, and John's lost track of his clothing, not to mention Elizabeth's. John is starting to adapt a bit more to this female thing, but that's only because Elizabeth's fingers are inside him, and John's grinding hiships down, too distracted by Elizabeth's heaving breaths and the newness of being fucked, having anything inside this body, to hear the whoosh of the door opening.
"Elizabeth, I have those articles on gender iden--" John is staring at Elizabeth, but he can tell the exact second Dr. Heightmeyer looks up from her handheld.
Elizabeth's lips curve into a wicked smile John's never seen on her before. John's had plenty of fantasies about Elizabeth, but that look beats them all, hands-down. "Kate," says Elizabeth, and her voice is sultry as she glances over her shoulder at Dr. Heightmeyer. "Why don't you join us? You can give me the articles later."
John's too shocked to do anything more than groan when Elizabeth's fingers start moving again, and knowing that Dr. Heightmeyer's there, mouth hanging open and staring, drives him over the edge in seconds, so he's screaming - again - and writhing against Elizabeth's bed until he finally collapses in a boneless heap, panting and exhausted. "I don't know how much more of this I can take," he says.
"Why, John," says Elizabeth, and seriously, John could swear that just yesterday his boss was Dr. Prim-and-Proper, but now her voice is full of sin. "Here I thought you liked exploring your feminine side."
John lifts his head up, nearly groans with the effort, and then stares. Dr. Heightmeyer is recovered from her shock, her shirt is on the floor, and she's kicking her pants off to the side. She's wearing a sheer white bra, lace stretched across her breasts in a way that makes John's mouth water, and she's reaching behind herself, unhooking it and sliding it down her arms as she walks forward.
"Elizabeth, I thought you were planning on referring the Colonel to me for therapy," she says, hooking her thumbs into a pair of white lace panties and dragging them down quickly, before kneeling on the bed and leaning forward. She pulls Elizabeth to her for a kiss, and John whimpers at the way their hands start roaming across each other's bodies, and something triggers in the back of his mind.
"Oh, my God, you two have done this before!" she exclaims. Elizabeth and Heightmeyer both turn to him, their faces perfectly composed, but Heightmeyer's hand is moving somewhere behind Elizabeth, and John can see Elizabeth's fingertips dancing over Heightmeyer's breasts. "You and Heightmeyer have slept with each other before! How long have you been doing it?" And why didn't he get to see it before tonight?
Heightmeyer laughs, and John had no idea before now that the woman had a sense of humor behind the oh-so-serious psychologist facade, but apparently she does. She's leaning over John, Elizabeth watching them curiously, and as Heightmeyer drags her body up against John, she murmurs in her ear, "I'm about to fuck you senseless. How about you call me Kate from now on?"
"Right," gasps John, and his hands are on Kate's hips as Kate straddles him. He watches her blonde hair fall against her bare breasts as she leans over, opening the drawer on the table next to Elizabeth's bed and pulling out a small box. The fact that she's sliding herself against John's clit while she does this has John panting again, his hips jerking up against Kate, and John nearly comes from the slick heat of it. Just as he's about to, though, Kate lifts her hips, and John whimpers again, sure he's about to die.
'Dead from sexual arousal resulting from being turned (hopefully on a temporary basis) into a girl.' That was gonna look great on his death certificate.
Kate grins down at him, though, before handing the box to Elizabeth, who gives Kate a curious look. John's never seen Elizabeth arch an eyebrow while naked before. Her thighs are covered with wetness from where she'd guided John's hands against her, coaxing her body into a shuddering, convulsive orgasm that had left John turned on--again--even though Elizabeth's hands had been nowhere near John's body.
"You or him?" asks Elizabeth, and John swallows, wondering what's going to happen now.
"I want you to use it on me while I go down on him," says Kate. She turns back to John. "I'd ask if you had any objections, John, but you'd have said something if you did, right?"
John nods almost frantically, still stunned at how damn hot it is watching Kate pretend she's not affected by all of this, so he nearly misses Elizabeth pulling a dildo out of the box. Then Kate smiles, somehow still looking serene, and her head is between John's thighs, and oh, God, that's why all John's ex-girlfriends liked this so much. Kate's mouth is so warm, and so soft, and she's sucking on John's clit, sliding her tongue against it.
There's no way he's going to miss the shudder that runs through Kate when Elizabeth slides the dildo inside her, and the low moan against John's cunt pulls a groan out of him. He opens his eyes to see Elizabeth staring at them, licking her lips and looking hungrier than John's ever seen her. She twists the dildo farther inside Kate, who pushes back against it. Kate's serenity is gone now, and one of the hands she'd braced on John's thighs is between her own legs, circling her clit as her tongue starts to slide inside John.
"Touch yourself, John," says Elizabeth. John makes an abortive move at Kate, still moaning, getting higher-pitched with every thrust of Elizabeth's hand, her mouth against John harder and more devouring, then his hands fall back to the blankets, twisting at them. Elizabeth smirks. "Your breasts, I meant."
So John's hands move to his breasts. It's still weird, but it's hot. He can barely keep his eyes open now, but he's writhing against Kate's mouth, watching Kate's eyes close as she pushes desperately back against Elizabeth, watching as Elizabeth stares at them both. John's palms slide against his breasts, the feel of nipples puckered against her hands, and she twists them between her fingers, as it all starts to be too much. Watching Elizabeth and Kate. Elizabeth watching them. The newness of all the nerve endings shifting to breasts and clit, Kate pushing against his--
Yeah, and Elizabeth fucking her, leaning forward by now, rocking against Kate's ass and John just knows Elizabeth's getting off on all of this too, making John feel everything so hard and fast, with Kate trapped between their bodies. John comes, arching up against Kate's mouth, and Kate pulls away fast, her eyes dark and heated, and her mouth covered with John's wetness.
He was getting so fucking drunk when this was over with.
Elizabeth pushes Kate back, flat onto the bed, then straddles her, sliding her clit against the dildo she's got trapped inside Kate with her hips. Their mouths meet, and Elizabeth's licking the taste of John from Kate's mouth. John can't stop staring, watching Kate and Elizabeth's moaning, as they move together, unabashed and showing John everything, from frenetic twisting to gasps as they clutch each other, staring into each other's eyes, mouths open and coming with loud screams that John never imagined he'd hear coming from two of the most controlled women in the city.
They collapse against each other, panting softly for a few seconds, then Kate shudders again. "Elizabeth, get it-- God, too much, so good, but it's too--" Elizabeth raises her head, lifts off Kate's body enough to slide the dildo out, shove it off somewhere. John thinks he hears it clatter to the flor.
When Elizabeth collapses again, she reaches out with one arm and cups the back of John's neck, dragging him down against them both. "Whoa."
"Not how you expected to be spending your night?" asks Elizabeth, bemused.
"Not even close," says John, slinging an arm across Kate and Elizabeth. Apparently cuddling after sex is still expected. He can handle that, at least.
"Bad?" asks Kate, her eyes flickering open. "Or good?"
"Weird," says John, as he frowns, and his forehead furrows, because he's doesn't know what he's going to do. He yawns, his jaw cracking, because today has been way too long. "What'm I gonna do if McKay doesn't figure this out?"
"We'll figure something out," says Elizabeth, and wow, she's switched back to her professional voice, which is just freaky in and of itself.
"You gonna want to do this again?" asks John. After being abruptly swapped into the XX half of the population, seduced by his boss, and again by the expedition shrink, he may as well ask. "Whether McKay fixes me or not?"
Kate's studying him, her eyes holding a trace of humor John could swear she'd never had before now. Or maybe John had just never seen it. "I don't know," she says. "I might make an exception for you on my no males in bed policy if it happens."
"How did I never pick up on the fact that you're a lesbian?" asks John, boggling.
"You know how you and Rodney get," says Kate, and John shrugs, because she's right, but, well, that's what guys do. "Now I have blackmail material. You breathe a word of it, and I'll tell Rodney exactly what we did tonight."
Elizabeth chuckles softly, and John just glares at her.
"You wouldn't!" exclaims John, lifting up just long enough to look at Elizabeth and Kate. She lets her head drop again, because she's really tired, and Elizabeth's fingers are beginning to massage the back of John's neck. "Then I'd never hear the end of it."
"We'll figure it out in the morning," says Elizabeth. "Let's just slide under the covers and get some sleep for tonight."
"How the hell are we going to fit in these beds?" asks John, grumbling as he's forced to sit up.
"We squeeze," says Kate. "Don't tell me you're going to start complaining now."
"Oh, no," says John, yanking the covers back and scrambling into bed. "Not after all that." He feels Kate and Elizabeth sliding in on either side of him, and suddenly they're a pile of tangled limbs. As John warms up and falls slowly into sleep, he starts wondering why it's always him that gets the weird shit happening.