life
life is very confusing these days. I go back and forth between happy and depressed. One moment everything seems fine...the next its hell all over again. Its like there are bandages holding my shaddered heart together and yet i wear it on my sleve. Youd think id learn by now, youd think i would be careful now. But i dont. Im still that same stupid girl who used to hide her problems in drugs and booze...only now its in booze cigarettes and photography. So i guess thats a step up. But still. I have hardly eatten in days. Seriously...a hotpocket and one thing of topramon in the last 3 days...ugh i cant sleep at all during the night. My mind just wont shutup. But yet during the day i hide away in the blankets and my dreams. Idk why this is happening...i have been clinging to anyone and everyone possible but yet pushing them all away. And even when i do sleep...my dreams they are horrible. I wake in a sweat shaking. Like christmas eve...i dreamt my father killed me. And thats the "lightest" one. fuck