There you go once again you missed the point and then you point your fingers at me
I guess things really do happen in threes, I woke up in the middle of the night almost a week ago to extreme itching, went to the doctor and was told I had hives due to an allergic reaction (probably because of stress), then we went to Oxy and played our first Leauge rugby match which we did win which was nice. I broke my nose (not bad though it didn't even bruise), and hurt my side a bit, and now I woke up this morning feeling crappy and cruddy and I have a cold. Lol gotta love it I guess this is my little bit of karmic ass biting telling me to take a chill pill and relax. I hate being sick though and I really wanna play in the game versus NAU this weekend and then the party that night brings with it the chance to have some fun, sober of course due to my not being able to drink because of my allergy medication. If I am sick I won't have fun so poo, I'm trying to get better drinking fluids, tea, eating dark greens, carrots, etc. Hopefully I shall recover soon as I need some fun at this point in the stress that is Career Expo and school. I thought only having two classes would be easy haha boy was I wrong. My hair is now pretty shaggy and as much as I hate to say it I kinda enjoy it, I'm thinking of letting it grow out some more nothing "girly" but more surfer boy style shag. Who knows I should be studying but meh who wants to do that. I have lost myself already this year and am trying to recoup of that loss without the comfort of those sharp objects. I have wanted to cut so much in past weeks the urge was overwhelming. At points I was up till all hours on the computer keeping my hands busy and my mind off of it. I somehow manage to fight it every time but for how long I don't know. I have no desire to die either by the hand of others or myself, and knowing this it upsets me that I feel as if I am not "allowed" to cut and feel guilty at the thought of doing so. It does no long term harm much less than drinking or smoking, and meh I don't even know. I need to finish studying and eat before my tummy gets even angrier, perhaps a warm salt water gargle is in order to cure my sore throat.