this is written so blandly but i still cried four hours writing it

[havethisbird]

mama, when i was small i thought you hated me.
i knew you were like me, but you were ashamed.
of me, and the part of you that is like me.
if you had been brave in front of all your friends i think
maybe i could have been brave, too, and wouldn't have cared
about you coming to my soccer games or driving me to school.
but that's all in the past now, and you can come anywhere with me
if you promise to laugh and not hold yourself back.

when you say you are proud of me, jealous of me, i go into my heart
and i look at her and i tell her. that girl with purple hair.
the one that wants to be a boy. the one that always says everything
out loud, too loud. spits venom. hits you.
i gather them up into my arms and whisper, see? she loves you. i knew.
when i tell them this, they are not angry anymore. they don't hurt.
they turn back into twirling figure skaters in socks on hardwood.
and as for me, my resentment, mother it completely. disappears.
i mean it transforms into solidarity.